Super Old member with an exciting update

Hi everyone, I'm Nicole, been a member here since 2010 but had to take a well deserved break from everything adoption related. Welp, I found my birth family, I had no 23andme matches years ago, but I did the AncestryDNA test back in September on my birthday and in less than a week after getting my results and the help of a search angel we found both sides of my family. Unfortunatly, my paternal grandfather passed away this week, and I'm going to Kentucky to pay my respects and meet my paternal side of the family this weekend. Here's my issue. The guilt. While my mother just wants me to be able to ask all the questions I want and need, I can tell she's not 100% on board, she'd never tell me but I can see it in her eyes when I talk about my biofam. So i try not to bring them up when I'm around her. I keep talking myself out of going, and talking myself back into going. I know i need to go, my paternal grandmother is very sick and we may lose her soon and if I don't get a chance to meet her I'll be devastated. Does the guilt get better? Or will I always feel that I need to shield my mother?

Here's my perspective as an adoptive mom: This is about YOU, no one else. It's possible your mom feels threatened... but you can't let that stop you. There are some instances where you don't get a do-over.

Ah BabyRachel - did you go?As to guilt, if your mom isn't going to change then just don't talk about it with her.

DICKONS!! You're still here! Is Ravensong still around? The trip went amazing! I miss them already! from left to right, My half brother, half sister, Great Aunt, myself and biodad

I pop in once in a great while - I'm thrilled I popped in after you posted. Wow, the happiness just jumps out of that picture - you're young enough to have time to create many memories between you guys to make this a wonderful journey for all. I'm so happy for you, soak it in, write down how you feel. Cheers!Ravensong isn't around this place anymore but I see her from time to time on FB - I will tell her you showed up here and asked about her, she'll be touched.Dickons

BabyRachel -- wow, it's been such a long time! I've thought of you from time to time over the years and wondered how you were doing. This is fabulous news! I'm glad you decided to go. I love the photo of all of you together! Cheers, my friend. :revolving_hearts:

I need to add you both on FB! Dannie is on my page and her and I keep in touch as well I’m so happy to see you both I sent you both friend requests here so we can exchange emails

I can't figure it out - I'm barely able to figure out how to respond to a post here on this new forum. I got your FB page from Dannie and just sent you a FB friend request.

Can you pass the info on to Ravensong as well? The new site here is so confusing

I can't figure out how to post or comment here anymore either. The old BBS software was much superior to whatever software they're running here now.

Heya, old timers! It's BrandyHagz (but no longer Hagz).Super glad to see some familiar faces -- I hope you'll keep coming back! I know the platform is new and it's hard to get used to, but it's a lot more stable and once you get used to it, it's easy. How is everyone? I'm great -- my daughter (whom I placed in OA 21 years ago) recently had an accident breaking a horse and broke both her femurs -- she is headed to rehab sometime over the next few days. They surgically placed two rods in her legs and hope she'll be walking again soon. My son, whom I parent, had a birthday yesterday. It's hard to believe the kids have grown into well-adjusted adults. Glad to see y'all. I hope you'll keep visiting :)