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Rashaud,
I'm a birthmother and I assure you, you are loved, needed, and most of all wanted to be found. Please know that God makes NO JUNK. You are wonderfully made by our Lord. So many birthparents are afraid they would be interfering with your life should they seek to locate you. It is normal for you to feel unwanted, unloved, abandoned, and have a need to know from where you came. Because of your desperate need to be reunited, I suggest (as I did), hire a private investigator. I used "Kinsolving Investigators" out of Matthew, North Carolina. They specialize in finding adoption records. Depending on your financial status, this is a great way to put all your fears behind you. It cost me less than buying an old used automobile. They found my son within a month and it took that long because his birthdate had been changed by one day. They knew how to get around that. You have reached the age where you "need to know". Go for it and don't give up.