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hi, i was caught off guard at the library this week. A well meaning but nosy older gentleman asked if my daughter looked like her father. I stammered and said I don't know, why? He actually responded that many of our features were different. This hasn't come up before because we are the same race and have similar coloring. I am concerned how I would respond in the future. Right now she is a 15 month old, but soon she will understand these questions and my responses. Thanks for any advice or anecdotes to share with this mom. jen
Last update on February 17, 7:07 pm by Jennifer.
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Hi, JenWe are adopting a baby girl and she is also 15 months old. We are indian and she is Hispanic/ white... so you can see people are curious. We will let our child know that she is adopted (its obvious). Child gets features from both parents. Nothing unusual about it. no need to worry. people will talk it doesn't matter. your child has best of both of you..Always teach child to love themselves as they are and except others for who and what they are. God created us in different shades and tone for a reason. Never let anyone tell you or bring you or your child down......
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: : hello. I am in the process of adopting and had to answer this question in my home study actually. (How would you respond to someone who mentions you don't look like your child?) I said that I would simply reply, "isn't that great that my child as their own unique individual features?" and then change the subject. If they keep on asking more about why skin tone, etc. is different I'd say "that's just the way it is. (and smile)" (You don't owe them any further explanation. You can be polite and also set your personal boundaries as well.) OR ... in the case of the person in the library you could even then turn the question back on them and say "what about you? Do you think you resemble any family members or do you feel like you have your own unique features?" Anyway, that's just an option. They are many great responses you could use though. : :
Not everyone has the best social skills or boundaries. And not everyone means things the way we take them. I'm pale white, my daughter is hispanic - I've gotten that question from strangers when she was younger, and have always said that yes, she looks a lot more like her father than she does me. Neither of us have never met him before, but no doubt it's true!A lot of us have had to get used to this line of questions. Sounds like you are at an advantage because you are the same race. But for your own benefit, just brush it off.