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I was a single parent of my 7 year old for most of his life. In March of this year I got married and we now became a family overnight...which is already a major change for a little one. Two weeks ago we got an emergency phone call and became a family of five overnight! My two little cousins, 7 and 2 both girls. My son loves his cousins but his world has flipped upside down in the past two months, going from me and him to a new full time and and two new younger sisters. My grandma has always watched my son every Friday night and would watch him during the day time in summer, at times. With our two new foster girls my grandma is absolutely refusing to watch them because "she doesn't love them". Which is truly upsetting me because how can you not love a child?! (Unless they are a demon or something!) What do I do?! We don't want to show favoritism with any of the children, especially during these early times when we are creating this family bond. We already have comparison issues to deal with...."Why do they get this and I don't, or why don't I get to do that and they do..." How would you approach this situation? We are new to this..... Thank you!
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Now would be the time to teach all the kids that the world and life isn't fair. Things won't always go their way and they won't get what they want. Also, your biological son can learn empathy. He can learn that there are kids that don't live with and/or see their bio parents for whatever reason. Your grandmother is probably too set in her ways to change her way of thinking. For right now, I would limit contact with her. She doesn't "have" to love the kids but she doesn't need to voice it either.