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Being an adoptive parent has been the biggest blessing and also the biggest heartache of my life. I adopted my youngest son when he was 10 years old from the state and like all children that have been in the state for years he came with his trash bag with a few clothing items and a Uhaul full of issues that we have been able to work out. We have always had a close relationship and he was always a daddy's boy. Years later he wanted to reach out to some of his siblings and of course, even though I was hesitant, I allowed that to happen and in the end, two of his older siblings moved in because their/his birth family isn't healthy and that's putting it nicely. His older brother, who looks at me like a father figure also, is now in the military and his other siblings the middle child went back to his birth family. Due to the drug use/sexual/physical abuse, I didn't allow contact with the other people such as his birth dad. Well fast forward to 18 and he has decided to move out and has been hanging out with them behind my back for a while now because they allow him to smoke weed and etc. and are ok with him doing whatever he wants to do. Not that I wasn't supportive of him doing him, but I can't be supportive of illegal activities. Of course, he also believes everything that they are telling him about why he and his 10 other siblings ended up in the system. Even though there were 3 different sets of siblings at three different times that were put into the system. My heart is broken and I am truly devastated by this and the pain is truly unbearable because he has been so cold and distant, which is out of character of him. However, even though this pain I'm grateful that he blessed me with being a part of my life and allowing me to grow with him and learn from him. One of my favorite things to always do was get up on the weekends and fix his breakfast and watch him watch his morning cartoons and listen to his belly laugh that filled my once empty home and would make me laugh. It was such a contagious laugh that everyone couldn't help but laugh. Eventually, with time the belly laugh that filled our home slowly became less and less and I can't imagine the mental anguish all this has to be for him because being adopted isn't a happy ending its a long process of slowly accepting and being ok with not only what you have been blessed with, but also what you have lost. I pray daily for all of my children and since he is currently struggling with this confusion I continue to pray for him and know that the truth will set him free and it's not going to be the truth that currently is being told. Long story short to all my adopted parents, who have opened their hearts and homes to a child/children, I and they thank you because at the end of the day we will continue to be there for them and they will always find their way back to us. I don't know how long his journey is going to take, but I am his dad and I will keep my heart always open for him as you will always keep your heart open for your children. Remember this isn't about us, them not being loyal, them not loving us, us messing up, but this is truly about them trying to come to terms with what it means to be loved unconditional from adoptive parents, but not their birth family.
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