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I'm a 52 y.o. man who started a relationship with a 48 y.o. adoptee. Everything was like heaven for a few weeks. We were both amazed how much it felt like we knew each other much longer. I have to travel for work and had to leave after about 3 weeks of dating and both admitting we were falling for the other. I was gone 2 weeks and we texted or talked every night. She often told me how much she missed me, and I her. I came back home for 1 week and then I had a very unusual job come up that was 5 weeks long. She was not happy about me being gone that long, but said she would be ok with it, as she understood it was my job and it was very unusual for me to be gone that long. Again, we texted and talked often, and then, after being gone a couple weeks, I told her about another 2week job that had come up a week after I returned. But that would be the last job of the year and I would have 2 months(at least) off when I returned home. She became very cold towards me for about 10 days, then she said she couldn't deal with all the traveling and ended it. I practically begged her to hang in there because there was lots of free time coming up. But she would not and it seems I have lost her. But we both cared deeply for each other up until I told her about my final job of the year. I miss her terribly and have tried reaching out to her many times, but I'm not getting very far. She just says the traveling can't work for her, she thought when we started dating, it would be a lot less. But I'm pretty sure I told her my average amount of traveling days per year.
My question is, is my being away for a couple weeks at a time a big problem for her because of abandonment issues? And once she ended it, is there any hope of her coming back? I've read that with some adoptees, once it's over, it's over.
I did break through a little bit and she has agreed to meet me for coffee tomorrow, but just as friends. I'm hoping this can turn into something more. BTW, I have read a lot about adoptees and relationships and realized she had several characteristics of someone with abandonment/commitment issues.
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