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Good morning all, I have a question about something that is going on in our case. We had TPR on 11/20 and they terminated Parental rights. We found out during the hearing that our FS's Mom and Dad were going to have another Kid very soon. We are not equipped to take a baby right now as our age range when fostering was 3-8 (or son just turned 4 on Christmas Day). Well over the Holidays we found out that mom had the baby on Christmas day as well, what are the odds. So here is where it gets a little crazy. During our case there were these friends of dads that came out of the wood work and wanted to take our son from us and foster him. They ran into road blocks as she works for the same county we are fostering in and the country wont let then foster through them since she works for the county. So they were going through the kinship route. We had a visit with them the CW and our son and these friends of dad. After the visit and for about 4 weeks after our son regressed really bad, screaming in the middle of night, reverting to baby talk, getting up looking for us at 2 am wetting the bed and other things. Apparently he has a very bad memory of them for whatever reason. The CW and the GAL decided that visits needed to stop as it wasnt in his best interest. We being the good foster parents wanted to keep connection open if they were safe, a kiddo cannot have to many good influences in their life. So we ask the CW and the GAL if we could have a visit with them with us there and just them. They agreed. So we tried that, then that night bed wetting happened again and regressing pretty bad. We even had to start therapy to help (which is has) And while at the visit he never talked to them or interacted with them when they asked him questions and she even tried to give him a hug and he walked as far around as possible to avoid her. So now fast forward to today. Theses friends of dad have the little baby. We found out last night from our adoption CW that they were going to possibly ask for court ordered visitations between our son and this baby. The issue we have is since we are the adoptive home, we decided to change his name since the parents are very heavy into drugs and domestic violence we just wanted him to be safe as he had a very unique name. We are worried that he will regress again, after seeing these friends of dad, and we don't trust the friends of dad to not tell maybe mom and dad or even grandma (who lives 3 blocks from the friends, our sons new name. So here is my question, since we are the adoptive home and we are just waiting for the appeal to go through, do we have any say in the visitations? These are our concerns He had pretty severe regressions that occurred when he was exposed to the friends of dads (even when we were present). We've been in a *really* good groove lately and would really hate for any trauma to be reintroduced. We have concerns with the friends of dads having a close relationship with mom and dad and dad's mom and them possibly sharing our son's name change, defeating the whole reason we are in the process of changing it. We are concerned that if Mom and dad do make the required lifestyle changes and baby*does* go back in the first year - I don't think the relationship would be appropriate for our son and might be potentially very confusing for any visits that had been occurring to stop. No sense in causing that sort of confusion for a 4 year old. Anyone have any experience in this? I know it is common for older siblings to maintain contact, but what about a brother he never knew he had. I mean if we had already adopted him this wouldnt even be a question so that is where I am at. Thanks in advance.
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