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: : hello. I was just wondering from those who have successfully transitioned a child from their previous foster home to their adoptive home, if you have any tips or suggestions for how to help your child ease into feeling safe and comfortable leaving their foster family (this is coming from the adoptive parent).
Just a background, my child is in elementary school (younger) and has mild-moderate autism but although he has some difficulty verbally expressing himself, he is very bright and believed to be able to internally process more than he verbally demonstates (think introverted). He is kind and affectionate mostly because his foster mom did such an amazing job building trust of care and he is very attached to her because she is all he's known (one foster family for the last several years since we was in pre-school) He is bonding with me but at this point he does not understand that he will be living with me in his forever home in about 5 weeks (longer transition for his autism needs).
What can I as the adoptive mom during this transition do to help my child bond with me in these next 5 weeks, and feel safe and comfortable with the idea of leaving his foster family and living with me? Just curious. I want to be sure this is a very positive exprerience for him (my fear is that it will traumatize him when the move happens - which would be so heart breaking to say the least) : :
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Hi Bethany, is the foster mom willing to keep in contact? perhaps the first week he is living with you, he may be able to visit her a few times, and continue visits while decreasing the number of them until the attachment itself starts to transfer so to speak. visits that are not in her home would be ideal. I would see if she could give some photos to you of them together that you might frame and put in his new room, continue talking about her. We talk with our little guy a lot about his previous foster mom "we know you must be missing Miss Faith right now, would you like to color a picture for her?" In our case i thought it would be a bigger deal than it actually is. I believe due to our sons attachment issues he bonded immediately to us and hardly thinks about Faith at all, unnaturally so. So keep in mind your worries may be for nothing! BUT keep in mind if there is an escalation in tantrums or negative behavior it could be due to the separation ! and i know you will remain very sensitive to that, i can tell.Good luck! :)
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