Daughter searching for Birth mother- I was born 3/8/69

Why are you searching for your birth mother? Aren’t you adoptive parents good enough for you?

Wanting to know the people who share your blood and gave you life has nothing at all to do with a persons feelings about their adoptive parents. Do you only have limited space in your heart? Not every birth mother simply chose to sign away their rights... especially way back then when options weren't as available as they are today. And fyi, once in a while not so great people adopt too, so not 100% of adoptive parents are, as you say 'good enough'. Don't taint a strangers journey with your own insecurities.

As an adult adoptee, I'm so offended by this response. We should just be grateful someone adopted us, is that it?

I originally wasn’t going to reply to the judgemental negative post. Then a couple nice people posted in my defense ( thank you !) and I thought , I will answer , but not to the rude person, just to the board in general. Here goes :My parents (adoptive) were amazing people. More than good enough , they were practically saints. They’ve passed away, but were always open to me searching if I wished. They were honest with me about my adoption , and gave me all the info they were given . They’d adopted two boys and waited 7 years to adopt me. I adored them . I adore my brothers. I adore my entire family. I never had any ill feelings toward my teenage birth mother. Ever. I didn’t want to search for her out of respect - to her , to her family, to the choice I assumed she made . Then last year I read “The Girls Who Went Away” and it occurred to me for the first time that it may not have been her choice , and even if it was her choice , that she may have had regrets , even lifelong problems because of it . People were lied to - adoptive parents , birth mothers . Birth certificates were changed - the originals sealed . This was a closed adoption , thought to be the best for everyone . Except maybe it wasn’t. My mother (adoptive) was told a young woman chose to give me up and her age. But maybe there’s more to the story.I’ve since found out my birth mothers name and that she was in a maternity home and that I wasn’t even born at the hospital listed on my birth certificate- the amended one they gave my adoptive parents.I could go on and on- I read that book and wept for those women who were shamed and sent away. Then I read 10 more similar books , even talked to a couple birth mothers who had gone through the “Baby Scoop Era”. Other countries have publicly apologized to birth mothers for the way they were treated back then.Anyway, I hope it WAS her choice to surrender me and that she has no regrets . My life has been great - an amazing family adopted me. However , if there’s a chance she’s spent 50 years regretting , or was forced or coerced , if she’s spent even one sleepless night , I want her to know I’m ok . I believe adoption can be wonderful , but I believe women in post-war era TIL early 70s were often not treated well, not given choices , and shamed - shamed into giving up their babies, and then shamed for giving them up. . And I hate that I had no idea until recently ! My adoptive parents would have welcomed this search .

Sally, we have similar stories and we're about the same age. My adoptive parents were so wonderful, but they passed away a long time ago. I was very different from my siblings and had some emotional issues. My Mom hoped I'd find my first Mom because she thought she could help me when my adoptive Mom struggled to. I'm so happy to say I've reunited with my first Mom. We started talking on the phone recently and we are so alike! She thought I'd hate her for putting me up for adoption, but now she knows I don't. We are slowly building our own relationship and that doesn't take anything away from the wonderful Mom that raised me and the special bond we shared. I found my first Mom through connecting with genetic cousins on 23andMe. I wish you lots of luck.