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Hey Kellie, I have often searched for info on this topic and there is very little. Our situations are very unique. I have an adopted older sister and adopted younger brother. I am the only biological child of my parents. Like you, I have deep within me a fear of accepting my biological reality ...that I EXIST because of an upbringing of always being told that my siblings need more love. It has taken many years to accept that my siblings have a deep resentment of me. My mother also discouraged ANY talk of genetics and tended to overcompensate any appearance of favouritism. When my father died, my siblings didn't make it to the hospital in time. I felt so guilty. It wasn't til years later that someone had the courage to say - that was meant to be, the 3 of you together - you, your mum and dad. I started thinking I had a right to exist. Now my mother is unwell and my brother is trying to exclude me from her care. It has taken a long time for me to accept that my siblings do not actually care about me as they have serious problems of their own. Accepting that has helped me look after myself and break through all the conditioning. But it still gets me right in the guts when they do things to exclude me.
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Hey Kellie, I have often searched for info on this topic and there is very little. Our situations are very unique. I have an adopted older sister and adopted younger brother. I am the only biological child of my parents. Like you, I have deep within me a fear of accepting my biological reality ...that I EXIST because of an upbringing of always being told that my siblings need more love. It has taken many years to accept that my siblings have a deep resentment of me. My mother also discouraged ANY talk of genetics and tended to overcompensate any appearance of favouritism. When my father died, my siblings didn't make it to the hospital in time. I felt so guilty. It wasn't til years later that someone had the courage to say - that was meant to be, the 3 of you together - you, your mum and dad. I started thinking I had a right to exist. Now my mother is unwell and my brother is trying to exclude me from her care. It has taken a long time for me to accept that my siblings do not actually care about me as they have serious problems of their own. Accepting that has helped me look after myself and break through all the conditioning. But it still gets me right in the guts when they do things to exclude me.
Hi. It's 2024 and I am doing research for my MA dissertation in Creative Nonfiction (telling true stories, well). I am a bio kid. I lost my brother to SIDS - traumatic! My parents decided to heal from the trauma by renovating a house and starting the adoption process. Within a year or two of losing my bro (in the 80's - so no child therapy or ANYTHING), I had two 'new brothers'. They were half-brothers to each other and one was older than myself - supplanted as firstborn. I am 42 and have finally refused to play happy families. I have had to break contact with my big brother - he's a narcissist! My life was full of eating disorders and suicidal depression - for about 15+ years and no one helped me until I finally found an amazing rehab and I now have a nuclear family of my own and 2 gorgeous children. As a bio kid, I have always felt alone, overlooked, rejected and abandoned by my bio mum! The irony. I am bitter and resentful but I am seeing a therapist - for my healing. And.... I want to write a memoir about my experience as a bio kid.