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Hey Kellie, I have often searched for info on this topic and there is very little. Our situations are very unique. I have an adopted older sister and adopted younger brother. I am the only biological child of my parents.
Like you, I have deep within me a fear of accepting my biological reality ...that I EXIST because of an upbringing of always being told that my siblings need more love. It has taken many years to accept that my siblings have a deep resentment of me. My mother also discouraged ANY talk of genetics and tended to overcompensate any appearance of favouritism.
When my father died, my siblings didn't make it to the hospital in time. I felt so guilty. It wasn't til years later that someone had the courage to say - that was meant to be, the 3 of you together - you, your mum and dad. I started thinking I had a right to exist. Now my mother is unwell and my brother is trying to exclude me from her care. It has taken a long time for me to accept that my siblings do not actually care about me as they have serious problems of their own. Accepting that has helped me look after myself and break through all the conditioning. But it still gets me right in the guts when they do things to exclude me.
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Catherine Thomas
Hey Kellie, I have often searched for info on this topic and there is very little. Our situations are very unique. I have an adopted older sister and adopted younger brother. I am the only biological child of my parents.
Like you, I have deep within me a fear of accepting my biological reality ...that I EXIST because of an upbringing of always being told that my siblings need more love. It has taken many years to accept that my siblings have a deep resentment of me. My mother also discouraged ANY talk of genetics and tended to overcompensate any appearance of favouritism.
When my father died, my siblings didn't make it to the hospital in time. I felt so guilty. It wasn't til years later that someone had the courage to say - that was meant to be, the 3 of you together - you, your mum and dad. I started thinking I had a right to exist. Now my mother is unwell and my brother is trying to exclude me from her care. It has taken a long time for me to accept that my siblings do not actually care about me as they have serious problems of their own. Accepting that has helped me look after myself and break through all the conditioning. But it still gets me right in the guts when they do things to exclude me.
Too late for a reply? I have googled many times on ‘what about biological siblings with adoption’ and it felt as if I was the only one feeling it! So glad to see that I am not the only one. Long story, but still have this shadow over me because of an adoptive sister who was always the ‘poor child’ and I was the ‘strong one’. Now it is even the same with the grandchildren. Is there a group or forum one can join?
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