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Hello.
My name is Irene, I'm in my early 20s.
Originally from Ukraine but moved to EU a couple years ago.
My story is somewhat banal: early parental divorce, emotionally unstable and psychologically immature mum who sent me to her mom in my early teens. Emotional and physical abuse.
I was the scapegoat of the family because I looked exact like my biological father and they projected their interpersonal conflict with him onto me. My younger sibling was the golden child.
Despite that, I was overachiever in studies. Until the sexual abuse happend in my 16. I was not believed. I left school and had severe depression.
I didn't get out of the bedroom and cried for months and my biological family didn't care.
We lived like neighbors in a communal flat.
They didn't even notice that I left studies, although it was obvious.
So I moved out of that state of mind by getting some money for therapy & meds, then my life changed.
I went no contact. It was hard due to social and cultural norms but I felt much better.
1,5 year later, at my birthday I was chilling at Palma de Mallorca with bf and my sibling wrote me from brand new anonymous account... And it was all about dark sarcasm and fun about my mental health issues.
I decided to never look back, although it hurts sometimes.
Boyfriends come and go. And I feel envy and sad while getting to know their families.
I really wish that I had one. Like all that Christmas (Hannukah, Thanksgiving, whatever traditions you have; I don't care your skin colour, nationality, sexual orientation, gender identity etc).
Although I am somewhat lost in life & having troubles with building emotional connections due to social anxiety, I am quite an adult, so I don't need anything other than parental figure.
Someone to listen to one's stories.
To learn from one's experience.
To be accepted and to care about.
To know that somewhere in the world there is a place which feels like home.
I don't want to end this message on a sad note, but sometimes life is just as that.
Sorry if there are any mistakes, English is my second language.
Good luck to all of you guys who read that.
Hello Jane,
I am very sorry to hear about your childhood. While I can't make it better, I can offer you someone to talk to. I am always willing to listen.
Carla
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