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Hello, I'm new here. I've had my grandson for 4 years (he is 8 yrs old), for the last year and 7 months DCF involved. GS mother had a baby (not with my DS) the baby was born drug addicted hence DCF involvement. My GS mom and dad surrendered their rights in July and adoption should take place in next month. I've read many stories here that echo my story. This entire process has been extremely difficult and heartbreaking to say the least. Thankfully my DS has been clean and sober for the last year and 4 months, I pray everyday he stays on that path. My GS mother is a different story. She is a heroin addict who has entered into a halfway house, not rehab, which was offered many times throughout the court process. She is stating that she is 40 days clean and sober and wants to see my GS. She relapsed within 28 days prior to this most proclamation of clean and sober. She has never been on time for a visit in four years, not just a few minutes late. Not to mention all the missed and no show visits too many to count. She cannot accept her role in losing both of her children, its the DCF's fault, everyone's fault but her own. She never bonded with the baby, he is with his father's GP's doesn't make the effort to see him. My GS literally watched her deteriorate physically and mentally due to the addiction. I was forced to allow the visitation once a week for two hours that I had to supervise when the DCF case was opened. Many times she appeared under the influence, many times I told the magistrate who told me that if I could not supervise then my GS mom could select someone. Obviously, I continued....My GS came into my care with PTSD, ADHD and developed a TIC disorder. He was in therapy for nearly 2 years where he thrived, and he will likely begin again to help him through the feelings of the adoption. He says he's happy but I know there are a lot of underlying feelings to come. My GS has not seen his mom in 12 weeks, her decision (sick, getting away from BF, on vacation, etc.) My GS has been thriving, the first time a parent/teacher conference that wasn't filled with concerns about his behavior. I don't believe the route of a halfway house bypassing rehab will keep her clean and sober (if she is)...I honestly feel that she needs to work the "program" prove she can stay clean and sober. My GS is not responsible for her rehabilitation, he has suffered enough. I want him to have a relationship with his mom and dad, but not his expense. He currently sees my DS once a month which seem to go well. My GS is still very cautious of the relationship because of past experience. Thoughts please....I feel guilty
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