Adoptee: Identity struggles, self esteem, maintaining relationships, and depression
Hey everyone. I was hoping to start a narrative, in hope to mitigate some of my depression and loneliness.
I was adopted at birth, in the state of Texas, by two of the most loving and kind parents I could ever know.
They are truly beautiful souls.
I never remember them telling me that I was adopted. They told me when I was very young, and it has felt like I’ve always just known.
They are hard working, successful parents who more than provided anything and everything I wanted or needed.
I have been guided and taught well, and believe that I am genuinely a good man today.
I followed in their footsteps in regards to education and am currently finishing college. They set a fantastic standard of success that I had the fortune of learning.
However, I have always had a sadness about me. I remember when I was in 5th grade having this sort of awakening of the sadness. I realized what adoption actually was, and that I am different than most. I felt abandoned and rejected. I wasn’t a shy kid either, I knew just about everyone at school and was very outgoing. But now that I am 26, there are definitely struggles that I cope with that I thought I could share.
Every single day I think of my adoption, and my birth parents. It saddens me. Everyone tells me it shouldn’t, but they couldn’t understand the feeling of being adopted. I struggle with self esteem, and have trust issues as well. I try my best to receive constructive criticism, but it just cuts too deep sometimes.
Most recently, a friend of mine from college made a “joke” when it really just hurt my feelings. Currently am dealing with the effects of the comment he made, so I sought out the psychology of adoption, and was lead to this page.
I hope I hear some responses, as I am feeling like no one can relate, or can give me insight or help on my feelings, or adoption.
Thank you.
Hello, I realize this post is old. I'm considering adopting. I've read and can definitely relate to the fact that adoption always includes trauma in that regardless of how loving your parents are, there is always a loss that is experienced by the child.
I'm wo during if you'd be willing to share more of you experience. I found the boards for adoptive parents lacking in information that could help prospective adoptive parents with this issue.