Advertisements
Originally Posted By KennaI am a stepmother with an adoption that is not called open, but we view it as open (meaning maternal birthfamily can see child and we are very involved with them). This is a very sticky situation, the child is older and the adoption just went through about a year ago. The child has always had contact with the maternal birthfamily with the exception of the birthmother up until now. The problems are now we have contact with the birthmother and things are working out fine with her. She knows and is fine with me being mom and understands "our" child's feelings. There were several things I was expecting of her, like sitting down and talking with our child to let her know she is loved, and that she did not make this decision because she did not love her etc etc. I feel this is important since the child is older and knows about her birthmother etc. The other problem is even though the birthmother and I agree on things, the birthfamily seems to have a problem with some of these things or we don't know how to handle some situations. Maternal birthgrandmother was telling the other grandchildren (including my husbands and my daughter that the birthmothers daughter was her sister and she should call her that etc). And she calls the birthmother mom etc, even though birthmother and I agreed that I am mom etc, but we don't know what she should be considered since she is every part of the family. The lawyer had suggested she be considered a favorite aunt to my adoptive daughter and my birthdaughter etc. Would this be right? How do I approach the maternal birthfamily about our decisions and let them know what is and is not appropriate? And when should I let my birthchildren know that there sibling is actually adopted by me? Sorry this is so long, but hopefully soemone could help me with one or more of my qyuestions and hopefully this isnt confusing. If anyone is in a similar situation please let me know maybe we could chat. Kenna
Like
Share