First of all, thank you for sharing your opinions here.
It's so helpful for me - a partner of an international adoptee- to understand my partner.
He and I have been together for over 2 years now
I am mid-40 female and he is mid-50.
Before I met him, I was married with a child for 15 years and he was never married in his life.
Over 2 years, there were so many issues between us. I found most of them were quite unusual.
One of them is his mood and behaviors change so quickly. One morning we feel so intimate but a few hours later he acts like a total stranger.
Also, whenever we had a small argument, he used to list up all of ex-girlfriends and compare them with me, criticizing how terrible I am.
Sometimes, when he got angry, he used to dump my stuff from his place (like clothes, toothbrush, etc) into my home door.
Seeing them, I thought he wanted me to go away. So I suggested breaking up. But he suddenly changed his attitude and begged me not to leave him. Later I got to know that he'd been with numerous women in the past but it was always very brief.
The most difficult thing is that he doesn't open himself after 2 years.
He says he can't open himself to me unless he is convinced that I will never leave him.
In order to understand him, I've started to read books, forums, and research regarding adult adoptee and their romantic relationship.
I am losing hope as the relationship can't go deeper without opening up.
But I love him and I would like to understand him more. Would love to let him know I am here for you.
Please share any tips, your experience or advice if you are in a similar situation.
Thank you in advance.
Last update on April 26, 12:39 am by Shine Kimberly.