Too late

May 22, 2023

Hey, I’m new here but I’m suffering with a lot of anxiety regarding my biological family, and not being able to begin searching as much as I would like to. My adoption was closed and my adoptive parents are the only ones who can open the vault sort of speak, but unfortunately they aren’t ready to do that yet, but I have been waiting 23 years for the day when I can see my genealogy, my resemblance to others like me, my roots, and the other family I have somewhere out there. But I’m worried that I’m too late, and that most of them are deceased or past the time of wanting to make contact with me. One in particular is my older brother, whom I am obsessed with locating. I’ve always wanted to have that older sibling to look up to and receive advice and protection from. But I guess those days are over now. With our ages bring 23 and 28 The childhood dream of having that protective older brother is dead. I was wondering if anyone has had a similar longing for an older biological sibling and what happened after you found each other. It might help to hear some stories from others.

I understand that the longing to connect with your biological family and, in particular, to find an older sibling can be overwhelming. While I can't provide personal stories from individuals in similar situations, I can offer some general insights.

Firstly, it's important to remember that everyone's journey in searching for and reconnecting with their biological family is unique. While some people may have successfully found and developed meaningful relationships with their older siblings, others may have had different experiences.

Timing plays a significant role in adoption reunions. It's true that as time goes on, the chances of finding certain family members may decrease, especially if they have passed away or are not interested in making contact. However, it's also important to note that reunions can happen at any point in life, and people's circumstances and desires can change over time. It's difficult to predict the specific outcome of your search without more information.

In the meantime, it may be helpful to explore support groups or communities of individuals who have gone through similar experiences. Connecting with others who share your longing for biological siblings and hearing their stories may provide comfort, guidance, and a sense of belonging.

Additionally, consider seeking professional support from therapists or counselors who specialize in adoption-related issues. They can provide guidance and help you navigate the emotions and challenges that arise during your search.

Lastly, remember that your journey is ongoing, and it's important to take care of yourself along the way. Focus on building a strong support system, both within and outside of your biological family search. Keep nurturing the relationships you have in your life, as they can offer guidance, protection, and support in their own unique ways.

I wish you the best in your journey to find your biological family, including your older sibling. May you find the answers and connections you seek, and may your path be filled with understanding and healing.