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Originally Posted By namont
Here's our situation.
My husband and I have been married for 5 years and are unable to have children. We are in our forties and probably considered too old to adopt thru a normal search.
A friend's daughter-in-law is pregnant with her second child, a boy. We live in the same town. Unfortunately - the baby was fathered by another man than her husband (who is currently in jail facing an unknown future). The mother has a 1.5 year baby girl that she is struggling to provide for. She strongly considered abortion when she found out about the pregnancy, but fortunately decided against it. When she found out thru her mom-in-law that my husband and I were unable to have kids, and have expressed a desire to adopt, she had her mom-in-law approach us with the possibility. We were overjoyed, then overwhelmed.
We currently are in the process of moving into a smaller house that we own to get out from under the financial pressure of a mortgage. I plan to quit my job to be a full time mom when the baby arrives (or shortly before to prepare). The birthmother is currently receiving state assistance and working part time and has informed us that the cost of delivery will be covered by the state (Oregon).
We don't have a lot of money to invest in an adoption agency (do we need one when we know the birthmom?). We don't want to get the run-around with a lawyer (recently just finished a harrowing experience with lawyers in inheritance related case that left us very un-trusting as to lawyer's motives - financial vs. resolving issue).
What's the best plan or first step for us? We don't have much time - the baby is due April 21st!!!!!! HELP!
Namont
wow, your situation sounds alot like mine, we adopted our daughter from a girl who was still in highschool, she had no way of caring for this child, you MUST have a lawyer to draw up the adoption papers, you don't need an agency at all, this is a private adoption, our daughter was a ward of the court for the first year, we had a social worker visit us monthly, and after a year she was "Legally" ours. if you can, get the father to give up his rights legally, you don't want any suprises to come up down the road. good luck, and congratulations to you !!
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Congratulations. Since you live in Oregon, where independent adoption is allowed, you merely need to contact an adoption attorney prior to birth. Do you have information regarding the birthfather, ie., does he know she is pregnant, that it is his baby, and that she wants to make an adoption plan? Where do you live in Oregon. There are severl excellent and experienced adoption attorneys there who are members of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys...very ethical and trustworthy professionals. In Portland area contact Dexter and Moffatt. In southern Oregon contact John Challey. Good luck. Nanci Worcester. Any questions call me at 800-523-6781.
does it make you feel better to add "she had no way to care for this child?" does it make you feel more like a hero? just curiouse.