Advertisements
Hello,
Who here has either had a child or adopted a child at the age of 35 or older? If you have, do you believe it is easier to parent at an older age or harder?
We are thinking of adopting again in a few years, and wondering what you all think about the parents age!
Tami
Like
Share
I am in my 20's and am married. We have a wonderful life. We own our home. We are the youngest homeowners on our block. I thought I wanted to wait until I moved into the house. The home is perfect. We have schools that I can walk to. The best schools in the area. Anyway seeing all of children and babies sure gave me the baby itch quick. I just finished school and am looking for that first big job. I do not think age is the real issue I think it's your heart. My mom is in her 40's and says there is no way she would ever parent again. Being a "mom" was not my mother's thing. She was a great mom. We are super close. She is my best friend. Being a mom again is not in my mother's heart. She wants to be a grandmother. Actually she is trying to pick what she wants to be called. I am in a wonderful marriage. I want to be a mom that's in my heart. We hope to adopt an infant from overseas. We are saving so I am sure it will take a little bit. As far as 35 I think that is young. I want 3 children and I would love to adopt them 4 yrs apart. So I am sure I will be in my 30's as I adopt.
Advertisements
My husband and I were married at a very young age...me 16 and him 18, we had our first child when I was 3 months short of 19 and he had already turned 20. At that age, we were so caught up in making a living, providing things for our son, and generally getting through the first years of our marriage. At times it took both of us working to make ends meet. I also remember I did not have the patience with my son through the 2's and 3's..I guess cause I was still young..I did have more energy though..lol.
After our son graduated and went into the Marines, we applied to become foster parents. Through that we had a wonderful daughter placed with us, she was 2 at the time and I was almost 40. I found that I LOVED the 2's and 3's found that I really enjoyed watching her learn new things..today I am 49 and she is 12. I do find that I have more patience then back in the early days of my son. Also, he has blessed us with 2 grandkids, a granddaughter who is now 10 and a grandson almost 3. My daughter loves telling people that she has been an aunt since she was 2.
I think you can love and keep up with children no matter what the age. I say "go for it" and love them as much as you can!!
~Carol~
Go for it! We adopted our 3rd newborn recently and have met that age criteria well. =) I have several friends who have adopted large families and/or special needs babies. Almost all are well over 35...and some will never see 50 again. Being an older mom means that you may not have the energy you used too but you (hopefully) will have more life experience and patience than you did as a younger mom.
DDJ
Although we have not completed our adoption yet(2 boys ages 4 and 7) I will tell you I am so excited. I am 36 and dh is 46. We have a daughter who is 16(my bio dh's step) Everyone has asked me 100x why would I want to start all over again and my response is because I know I will be a better parent and can enjoy it more. I know I have the patience, my priorities in in order and I already know what I have missed with my daughter and learned I can't get it back. We are in a much better position too. I will also note this. My husband is 1 of 15 siblings. My mother inlaw was 44 when she gave birth to her last one. Granted people thought they were my youngest brother inlaws grandparents, but they are now in their late 70's and early 80's and you would never know it. Raising those kids kept them young. I hope I can keep up with my grand kids the way my inlaws keep up with their 30+ grandchildren.
Good luck to you if you decide to try the adoption route again! The child will be very lucky to have you. My husband was 39 when our oldest daughter was born and 42 when our youngest was born. I am 36 and find that being a parent at this age is great. You have many things to offer a child: love, wisdom, patience, understanding and commitment. Usually, families who are older have established careers, have a solid foundation in their marriage, eagerly await the opportunity to parent and a good portion of the time you'll have more funds than you did when you were in your early 20's. If your heart wants to welcome another child, I say go for it and enjoy the love your new baby will share with you.
Advertisements
Hi, I have a six year old bio son named Justin. I had just turned 32 when he was born. I also have a 5 month old adopted daughter. I had just turned 38 right before she was born. I am WAY more patient and calm with my baby girl than I was with my son. In addition, we own a house now. When my son was a baby, we were living in a cramped apartment. So finances are definetly more stable now. The only thing I wish for is to have the energy and body as a 20 year old. But also have my wisdom and patience at my current age. Hey, it's good to dream a bit... lol. Julie
Advertisements
AN old post but maybe we can get something going here??? All I can say is age...shmage!!! My DD came home 6 weeks before I turned 36. DH was almost 50. We are waiting for our second child now... it is wonderful to finally be parents. I am healthier than I have been in seven years, losing over 75 pounds since Bug came home. Age is only an issue if you make it an issue... the only thing that we are having to do differently is planning for our future. DD will be in college (potentially two in college) when DH is set to retire... that will take some planning.
I am almost 36 and typing this holding our fd (hopefully our adopted dd) whom is 3 months old and her older brother 17 months old and our other fs who is 28 months old all of which we are praying we get to adopt.We also have a 17 yo,13,13 from our first marriages when we were younger.I had my first at 18.I feel I am better and more patient than when mine were younger.
My wife and I are 35 and 36. We're in the process of adopting a 5 year old girl--finalisation in about 4 months and she's been with us for almost 4 months. Being in our mid-thirties before becoming parents was a good decision for us. We both have lots of energy and more resources due to being further on in our careers than we would have been 8 years ago when we got married.
For us it is the right decision.
[font=Comic Sans MS]I am a single 44 year old mother. I had my bios at the age of 21 and 23. I adopted my daughter (now 6 years old) at the age of 42 and am hoping to adopt two boys now under the age of 3! I know that I am more mature and focused at this age than when my bios were young. I get alot of the "why are you starting all over?" questions. I just smile and say "because I love these children and I am their Mommy." :grouphug: [/font][font=Comic Sans MS]Darla[/font]
Advertisements
35 is young!
I adopted a 5 month old and 3 year old from Russia last year at the ripe old age of 36. DH was 43. We plan on going back in the next year or two for another. I'll be at least 38 by the time we get our referrals - DH will be 45.
We're in good shape and never feel "too old" to parent these children!
Christina
HI, I had my first at 42 (bio) and am currently in PGN with the second. I would not have been a good mom at an earlier age! It can be exhausting but I have lots of moms in the neighborhood who complain of the same thing and they are all twenty years younger than I am. I treasure every moment with my daughter (as does my husband)!Friends laugh at me because she is 3 years old and I still love to stare at her while she sleeps!! We feel so blessed to have her and can not wait to get our hands on "baby brother"! The ability to be a loving parent has no age limit!