Any help for spouses?

hi there i am the wife of a birth father that just found out 3 weeks ago that he had a son put up for adoption a long time ago. the birth mother contacted him through classmates.com i went through all kinds of emotions especially since he did not tell me about it right away i am sometimes overwelmed with the feelings i have and would love to talk to someone else about the situation i got so excited when i found your letter. i think we have a lot in common please e-mail me anytime i would love to talk with you thanks

I am actually the birth mom writing on behalf of my husband. I have just recently been contacted by my 16 year old son and his a-mom. My husband also has always known of the situation, but we have never really anticiapted contact of any kind. I am going through emotional swings that I don't even know how to deal with and I am worried about my husband, who is as lost and scared as I. Neither of us know how to deal with this regarding our 7 and 10 year old children who know nothing of this. I am searching for my own answers, but if any of you out there have advise or experience that could help my husband, it would be so appreciated by both of us. Scared, excited, happy, terrified, anxious and greatly lacking wisdom, Kim

hi there life is full of challenging situations isn't it we have 2 boys and the older one was actually very excited about the possibilty of having a sibling out there somewhere and is wanting to hopefully met him ione day the younger one says it will be interesting to see how genetic and you invironment have a signioficant role in your life. be patient with you family it is very difficult but try to remember that they are all going to feed off your reactions to everything they will follow your lead everything in life happens for a reason you would not be in this situation if you could not handle it feel free to e-mail me anytime i have been doing alot of research on the subject in all the different areas hope everything works out good for you i know it will just the fact that contact was already made. wow you are halfway there already

I have been married for 12 years, and like you I always knew he had a daughter. He has always wanted to touch base with her but has never been able to. In other words he has never been allowed to see her or communicate with her. She is now 19 years old. My husband finally reached his limit of patience and finally found out where they were living and went and paid them a visit. He did not want to disrupt their life but he has been through alot of heartache thinking about his daughter. ~I am NOW in complete support of him. I always was but intially experienced some insecurities. I don't really know where those feeling came from other than the thought of losing my family. I know NOW that it was a bad assumption on my part and that I should have expressed those feeling to my husband right away. Instead I kept my feelings to myself and isolated myself. It was not good for our relationship. Thank God I have a wonderful husband who sensed something was wrong and continued to pursue communication about my feelings. I finally opened up to him and share every feeling, emotion and insecurity with him. Since then we are closer than ever. We have shared this information with our 7 1/2 year old daughter. We have no secrets and we don't intend to ever change that. ~ I think the most important part of any family should be open communication, honesty and full support. I pray you find encouragement in my response, and I wish you nothing but the best for the future. ~ We have not had the honor of meeting my husband daughter, but I serve an AWESOME GOD who knows that our desire is to meet her and have her be a part of our family forever. Irma

thank you for your heart felt response i really appreciated it our communication is good. i think we eill be okay ]the problem is the birth mother i think she is falling in love with my husband she does not have alot of support in her family and all the contact with the sons girlfriend is throught the b mother my husband is very sup[portive of her and i warned him about what i thought was happening hopefully everything will work out i really don't want to write anything to personnal on here for anyone could read it but if you wish you may e-mail me directly i would love to have someone to talk to about this situation thank you