Change Name...

I'm against changing a child's name because I feel like it takes part of their identity away. However, some moms feel like their giving their child a gift by choosing a new name for them. There was a bmom who had named all her kids after drug. That was a good reason for the adoptive mom to change their names.

We have changed.....or at least added to the names of all of our children. We have six. We have no problem with it.....AS LONG AS it is evident that the child has no problem with it. In our experiences, the children even chose the new middle name we gave them----over their old name; and for good reason. I honestly think that for some kids, to 'start over' is good for them. I also think that when you are talking about a two year old.......this is NOT a big thing. I will also add, that when we have given additional names or changed the names of our children, the given names are family names that have history with them. So far, our kids seem to relish in the idea that they 'have history' with their family. I understand what lucyjoy is saying; but we feel there is a sense of 'claiming' when the child wants and accepts a 'new name'. Just my two cents.... Linny

When we started our adoption journey I felt very strongly about not cahnging a child's name. i flet like this little person comes to your family with nothing but thier names, who am I to take that away. Then I started seeing some of the names of chidlren in the fostercare system:eek: . Not to be an elitest but I will be ****ed if I send a poor child to school named Chewbacca, D'wan, Lewkeymia or any of the just plin awful names that we have seen on chidlren's profiles. As far as I am concerned that is child abuse. The other thing to consider is the age of the child and how attached theya re to their name. Will changing it make them feel that you wwant them to be someone else? Is giving a child a name part of "claiming" your child and making them part of your family. my chidlren came to me as infants and so making a change was not as big a deal. Our first kept the name his foster family had given him and we added a middle name (family name). He was 6 month old an knew his name. I didn't want to change it but I might have felt differnely if he had been named Chewbacca. My dd came to us at 2 months and I changed her name, giving her a family name tht really fit her personality. With #3 we were able to come up with a name joiuntly with his birth family. Both names are family names in both of our families sohe can carry the lagacy of both families. I think is is a complex question that has so many variable with each family. lisa

hi, we brought our daughter home at 3 days old. We took the first name her bmom chose and made it her middle name. That way she has a connection to her bmom. It was a pretty name and went well with the first name we picked.

We adopted a 2 & 3 year old sibling group, and changed both their names. We did this for two reasons: their birth names were long and complicated, and strange (along the lines of the "Chewbacca" mentioned earlier...). Also, and most importantly, we did it for safety. We do not have an open adoption, actually quite the contrary. Our children's birth mother is a heroin/crack addicted alcoholic, and we want no contact with her. If we had kept the names she had given them, they would have been very easy to locate, with such different names. Changing their names gave us a little bit of peace of mind.

:) In the future these children will be thankfull that they have an ENGLISH name. Anyway, is this changing name is part of readoption.(Do I need to contact an attorney about this,or you can file this in court independently). Thank you

You know....it's been our experience, that when the adoption becomes finalized (no matter how old or young.......whenever it is finalized)........the documents to 'change a name' are prepared with the final adoption papers. So, no matter when the adoption was a private, agency, or state system adoption, the final paperwork or paragraph always dealt with... ......'and 'child A' known as 'child A'.......will be given the name of 'Child AB'..... Even if you are not changing anything about the child's given name, the child's name would most likely be changed to reflect the adoptive parents' LAST name. Hope this helps.... Sincerely, Linny

Thank you for your response, I'm just learning, and we never thought of asking this to our agency. I really do appreciate that.

Just a word of caution, though: Be very, very sensitive about changing names. In an adoption book I just read, the author (an adoptee herself) talked alot about this particular subject. She talked of one boy, whose adoptive parents changed his name around the age of 4. He had some issues already, from being an "older" adoptee, but the name change created an identity issue. When he was "naughty" he referred to himself in the 3rd person...by his old name. He had self-loathing of that part of his identity, & he would get stuck in those modes for periods of time. Also, he thought for years, that his parents only loved the [new name] part of him, which in his mind, both names/identities very much made up who he was. Also, many professionals say that by changing a child's name (after infancy), you may shut down the lines of communication about their birth families. The child may interpret this as a non-verbal clue that they are prohibited from talking about their birth families or their feelings & emotions surrounding their pasts. The ability to communicate about these things is both healthy & recommended by most modern-day adoption professionals. (Just some things to think about. As others have said, there are many, many variables.)