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I am writing this out of complete curiosity, and through my lack of experience.
Our first foster/adopt daughter came to us at 6 weeks old. She had been in the hospital her first month, and a therapeutic foster home the last three weeks.
The CASA worker contacted us about two weeks after she was placed with us. She came out for a visit in that first month. That was her first and only visit with the baby in our home.
About 7 months later, she had a brief visit with me prior to a visitation with the biological mother. She wanted to also evaluate the babys' response with the mom.
She has visited the mother on occassion at her rooming house, but has made note that going there scares her. She also has frequent phone conversations with the mom.
She seems open to us, and quite grateful that the baby is being so well taken care of, but I get the feeling that she hardly knows the baby, she dosen't ever call us except when a court date is approaching. I guess I always thought that the CASA was supposed to be close to the child in question....I know it's not easy to interact with an infant, but I get the feeling that she is more interested in the mother. She has also made some pretty astounding remarks, (i.e., well, the mom has had a pretty rough life, I really feel sorry for her..., or the mom is really trying hard). I feel sorry for the mom, but I also realize that she is not capable of ever raising a child, irregardless of how she moans about how much love she has for this baby....completely ignoring the fact that this baby was born addicted to her heroin.
The CASA called me for an update prior to the court hearing. We had several concerns arise around the baby's health (i.e. standing on tip-toe, some slight evidence based on physical features of FAS/FAE, and the possibility for there to be water on the brain (Thank god the latter seems to be diminishing!). The CASA dosen't quite understand child development, and tends to hear the bio mom rant and rave about things they both don't have a clue about...(i.e. the CASA was concerned that the child, who was 10 months at the time was not walking). I gently reminded her that this 10 month old baby was also born 9 weeks premature and also has issues with her feet.
During the last court session, the CASA was the only one to reccommend an increase in visits...which shocked us to no end. She went against the Social Workers, and DSHS. To everyones dismay, the biomom got her visits increased by the judge.
So, at this point, I'm wondering about the CASA, and if this is normal. It would seem she would care more about the child rather than the mother. But, I get the feeling that for this one it's the reverse. Our SW has told us that if the CASA were going against them in the final phase they would have a very serious mediation, and would openly discuss their concerns as they always try to have all those involved in the cases on the same page and in agreement for the case disposition.
How open or how agressive can one be with the child's CASA? Should the CASA be more involved with the child and the fost/adopt family rather than the bio mom. It was also my understanding that irregardless of the feelings by the bio family or the foster family, their concern is first and foremost about what's best for the child. How can she judge what's best for the child if she dosen't ever see this child with us, and how bonded this child is to us? Anyone else have these issues??
Just curious!!!
Thanks,
Karen:confused:
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I think that it is okay for the CASA to be more involved with the mother at this time, for, and I am only assuming here that the only reason why the baby is in care is because it was born addicted. I know that it is hard not to judge a mother who carries a baby and still does drugs but she still deserves some respect. anyone with an addiction is not in control of their addiction. that is what addiction is. In the perfect world a baby would not be born to addiction, but that is not the case, but it is not the mothers fault that she is in addiction, it is very difficult to stay clean especially when addicted to heroin. Heroin is a body drug, very addictive, after awhile of using you need this drug just to survive, yes it is difficult to believe that anyone would take a drug with a baby inside them, but it is just that the addiction. Now if this mother was not trying to clean up and is not in a program, then she definetly cannot raise a child. It is extreamly hard not to put the fault on the mother, but it does not belong there. I am sure she loves the child that she created, but cannot get past the addiction to see what she did create, even with drugs. Try not to judge this mother to harshly. I do understand you though, for if you have never been around addiction then you would not know. I dont feel sorry for the mother, but I do agree that she has probably had a very hard life, for no one succumbs to addiction without some mental imbalance to begin with. Addiction stems from needing to escape something terrible. It should be your hope that this mother does intend on getting clean, even if she never has custody of her child. I hope that all goes well for you
Hugs
Melissa
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Ok I was not going to comment here but I feel that I have to. The GAL is to be there for the child(rens) best interest. Whether they feel sorry for the parent is not supposed to be an issue. There job is to do what is best for the child. I do feel that the mother made the choice to do drugs. Maybe not at the point that they were pregnant, but they did make the choice prior to that. Using drugs is a choice you make, as is sex etc. So to say that the addiction was in control, yes this is true, but the person who created the addiction is still at fault. I feel very strongly about this as I do work with children and 3 of the children I care for in my daycare have a father spending 4 years in prison for using drugs. He made the choice to use these drugs even knowing that this was not what was best for him or his family. These children are going through some of the hardest times that they will ever face. So to say he is not at fault is not true. He is sick and he has to over come this illness. Just as the mother of this child has to do. But to be quite honest I feel she has made her choice and that was for her addiction not for that of the child.
Please don't start coming back bashing on me. I have stated how I feel on this instance and a fact of the GAL is appointed for the childs best interest and not to try to make things easier for the childs bfamily.
This, as I understood it, was an ethical question about this CASA and where her concerns should be as a court appointed member of the situation. Not an emotional question. But I think the answer is possibly revealed in the responses here. The CASA may have a personal situation that is causing her to lean the way she is, I would try to find out as much as I could. This does not sound right at all. As for addiction, it is what it is, and it is no place for a child. Period. This is a very sad situation. But I think that there needs to be concern if the attention is not where it should be. Good Luck, I think you already know what you should be looking at, I would find out what options are available. The CASA people are just people after all, fallible like the rest of us! Organicmommy knows more about this than I, her advice was sound and well thought out. Love, Debi
Thank you Jessica, I think that you are right about addiction, and what that truly means for a child that is born into it. Whether to a mother or a father, these are demons that are thrust upon them. They are the innocent of innocent, and yet our legal system views the addicted parent's as the victims.
I grew up with an alcoholic mother. So I have known addiction first hand. My mother also, in the face of losing her family, stopped drinking and thanks to god, and AA she now has 20 years of sobriety.
What makes this particular mother incredibly at fault in my opinion is that she went into treatment while she was pregnant to get methadone and a roof over her head. When they wouldn't play her games, she left, so not only was the baby born addicted to heroin, but had methadone, PCP, barbituates, and cocaine in her system when she finally delivered 9 weeks premature. Attempted murder in my book, but to the courts, it's merely "the situation that brought her into state custody".
Is bio-mom getting clean? Well, not really. She has a lot of excuses as to why she needs prescription pain killers, and some pain killers she dosen't have a prescription for, but oh well, she does have excuses. In fact, she has an excuse for everything. The reason she lost her other two children, in her words, is because "...they were retarded and had special needs". In the eyes of the court they were removed because mom used food money on drugs, and the kids were found home alone with no food, or any indication that they had really eaten in a while ( a 2 year old and a 10 year old).
I was frustrated when I first found out that mothers who give birth to drug addicted babies face no legal charges, but was truly upset when I found out that our legal system actually denies children a voice in the court system....I heard the GAL/CASA is supposed to be that voice, but right now our little one might as well be mute.
Here's a thought to ponder;
If a man hits his wife, and causes her brain damage that will have a life long effect on her. Do we say, forgive him? Do we say, you know what, he's really sorry, and his history of past abuse is what caused him to hurt you. Do we say, he's actually a good person, he just has some mental issues. Do we say, go home, love him, forgive him, forget about it. NO, we don't. We say, GET OUT. We say, it will most likely happen again. Your safety is not guranteed. We pray that she will not go home.
Yet, with these kids....whether born drug addicted, abused, or neglected they will have lifelong effects of their abuse (physical and/or emotional), but still we say.....you will have to go home. Forgive, forget...we put them back. We say, the parent's are in pain...they have issues, they had a terrible life....We tell the wife to get out, but the child...we put back. Just because these are babies or young kids, they too are human, they too have every right to say, "No more, I dont' want to go back"...but, becuase in eyes of the law, they have no legal voice, we depend on CASA and the GALs, and in our case, I feel that the CASA is not lending a very positive voice for our child in the courts. I belive in my hearts of hearts, if you were to ask our little girl where do you want to live, hand's down it would be with us. As is true for so many thousands of kids out there who have never known any other parent but their foster parent.
Darwin
Your post has a special place in my heart. I truely believe that what you are saying is from the heart and the true best for the child. It is very sad that people look at it differently whether it is a child or an adult who is having the problems. I know that birth parents will think that we are bashing on them, however that is not at all how I look at it. If you are a birth mom who has taken care of yourself and chooses to place your child out of love for that child then this is wonderful. However if you loose your child to the state because of Neglect, abuse etc then you have a problem. If you can get things together and pull through for those children, then you have made a wonderful decision. However in my eyes if you can not make a decision to do what is best for you child including getting help, then you have no business having someone feel sorry for you. I wish you all the luck in the world with this child. I truely feel she is going to need it in the future.
Keep us posted please and check into getting this child a better "voice"!
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Based on my experience with both CASAs and GALs...
A CASA worker is the court's "eyes and ears." His/her report to the court should indicate an objective observation of all parties involved. There should not be any bias.
The GAL is your child's voice in court. It is the responsibility of the GAL to represent the child's best interest WITHOUT regard to the other parties. As a foster parent, this person can be one of your best resources when the agency does not appear to have your child's best interest first.
I feel that sometimes parents are given too many chances, when it comes to children. I think it is VERY important to try 'in the beginning' to bring the parents and the children back together, but if and only IF there are some major issues cleared up (i.e. drugs, abuse, alcoholism, neglect, etc.). After so many strikes...they should be out. And I don't mean completely, there should be opportunities for visitation, etc ....but more like what is in an open adoption. So that the child can bond to a family, rather then being passed back and forth 'in the system'. This is what causes RAD, and unadoptable children.
This mother's history speaks for itself. She had a 10 year old and a 2 year old taken from her home. If she hasn't been able to get past her addications, etc...in the 10 years since her son was born, then I can understand where leaving this child in the foster home (and hopefully permenant home) would be in the child's best interest.
I hope the best for the children involved. And I hope and pray that that the parents can get past their addictions. (But we can't blame society for all of our problems...there was still a choice that had to be made, and continues to be choices to be made.)
Stephanie
One more thing: A-Mothers-Love, I wanted to tell you that I am happy that your mother is now clean, and has been for some time. It DOES sound as if your love helped her through, but at what expense to you? It sounds as if you were older, and had children of your own, before you were able to get her to understand the significance of her choices. I commend you for this, and for 'rising above it all', as you grew up. You must be a very strong and wonderful individual.
I wish all children had that ability to 'rise abou it all', but not all have such fighting spirits. Hence the reason, in my opinion, they should be thought of first and formost when considering their permenant homes.
Yes, the parents should be considered...and yes, they should be given help and counseling, etc. And even possibly reuniting (I feel each situation is individual) But this should not be at the expense of the child.
Thank you, A-Mothers-Love, for being here...and for your positive example to your mother, and to us. We could each learn a little more compassion and understanding from you.
Stephanie
I think there needs to be a distinction made between a CASA and a GAL. In most cases, at least in my state, the CASA is a volunteer from the community. This person is not a social worker or an attorney. They are just a concerned person who has taken training from the CASA organization, and is to bear witness to the child's situation and suggest what would be in his or her best interest. The GAL is an attorney, social worker, or legal representative who is to be in court to represent the best interest of the child, to speak on his/her behalf, and to convey the wishes of the child if the child is old enough to express them.
The CASA worker in this case may feel that since the child is only 10 months old, frequent visits would be fruitless due to the child's inability to communicate. However, she should keep up to date on the child's development, and know his/her history without having to be reminded of it. The CASA worker should definitely have contact with the birth mother on a regular basis to determine how much contact would be in the child's best interest, but it would concern me if she met more with the mother than the child - that doesn't make alot of sense to me.
Further, I assume the mother has an attorney in this matter. She does not need the CASA to be her advocate, and that is not what the CASA is there for. Perhaps the CASA needs to be reminded of what her role is. You might contact her supervisor and discuss your concerns with him/her. Give them the dates of the visits, and let them know you feel the worker needs to spend more time with the child in order to fully grasp the extent of the situation. I would also ask the supervisor how much time other workers spend with the birth mothers, and advise him/her that the CASA worker has expressed opions which dissent from those of the social worker and attorney, and that is a concern to you. Or, you could speak to the CASA worker directly, and point-blank ask her why she recommended more visits. Ask her what her feelings are toward the mother - maybe she is becoming too emotionally involved with the mom to give an impartial opinion. This need not be done in an accusatory or confrontational way, but just as a mother expressing concern, and trying to gather information.
Good luck to you!
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WoW!
Lots of good information and replies! I agree with you, Lameausam, that the GAL/CASA should be the objective one looking out for the child's best interest for the court system.
We have to keep in mind that we are working withpeople, those very capable of making decisions based on emotion and feeling. I've always said that people and beaurocracy are the ones with the fate of our children, both young and old.
My hope is for the best for this child. That she does not get lost in the system in which she was brought into. Stay involved with the case and don't be afraid to ask for clarification on what is going on with the case plan. Hopefully your interest will show the CASA and others involved your commitment to wanting the best for the child. Does the child have any problems going to visitations like crying or getting upset? Our little one did once the attachment was strong with us and it made a difference with the case. Keep your chin up and don't give up!!!
Best!
Karen Ferrell
Love story...I completely agree, you took the words right out of my mouth, Sometimes I have a hard time putting the words I am thinking down. That was my point, I think CASA is doing an okay thing trying to get this mother involved, however, if the mother does not clean up and want to look after her child, then she should suffer the consiquences (I think I already said that). That was my point when I stated that the CASA was right in looking after the mother, yes they are suppose to be the childs voice, BUT it is in the best interest of the child to stay with the bio mom whenever possible. I do not condone drug abuse, but it is a real fact for allot of families. I also dont agree with the child being pulled to and fro, if the mother does not show any indication that she is willing to get help that is her loss and Karens win. I hope all goes well for you Karen
Hugs
Melissa
Karen,
I have read a couple of your postings. I have taken them to heart. I feel so much for your situation. It is not identical to the battle that has just ended for us, but as you probably know, many foster situations do have many similarities.
I have read all of the previous postings, and I have alot of the same feelings, and some quite different feelings, than what has been previously written.
The whole dilema is hard to deal with. Our family has just ended a 3 year battle regarding our foster children. It has ended in our adopting our foster children!! I thought at times that we would have to give up but we hung in there, and fortunately for us the outcome was what we had prayed for.
I wish you all the best and will encourage you to keep your hopes up. It can be so hard at times to keep a hopeful attitude. I hope that you will email me and we can talk more about this subject.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
DianeIrene
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When I re-read my post, I could really see that I was pretty low, and out right scared. Through this whole process, we have been told to have faith. It's fairly hard to have faith when you can see a child being tormented from birth by another humanbeing who seems more inclined to think of a baby as a belonging than an individual, and a system that attempts to "re-habilitate" rather than punish these offenders of humanity.
Yesterday, I recieved a call stating that the lead CASA, who is one of the directors of the program in my home town reviewed the entire case history at the request of our CASA worker, and out right said this child should not be returned to the mother. Based on recent events, this was the one last piece the agency needed to set them on a road to start the TPR process. As of yesterday, everyone agreed that re-unification was no longer their goal.
I feel as though that the light at the end of the tunnel which continually flickered on and off, was finally re-ignited with a torch. It's hard to convey to those who have not followed this path what it is like to hold this innocent life in your arms, wanting nothing more than to protect them from any harm, to erase the wrongs that were forced upon them, and still be helpless in a system that would try to return to them to a parent you know is not capable of taking care of them in any way, shape, or form. Although this process is still far from over, I am slowly finding faith that at least some can see what's right for this child. Now, I hope the judge will also see what's right.
Thank you, to each and everyone who has taken the time to write. The info I gleen from these boards, both on the emotional and intellectual level have been immensely helpful. I will continue to seek my solace here with those who "know", and hopefully be able to return some "wisdom" and "faith" to those who will also follow this very long, very trying road. :)