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In 2001, only 10 children were adopted from Estonia by Americans. Compare this with about 4,700 from China and 4,300 from Russia. These were probably adoptions of relatives' children. As the State Department indicates:
"According to the Estonian Family Law only those children whose parents are deceased or whose parents have had their parental rights taken away may be adopted. There are few such children and long waiting lists of Estonian families who by law take precedence. According to the current law, healthy children should remain in Estonia. Only in cases where it is impossible to take sufficient care of a child in Estonia can that child be adopted internationally."
You might do well to look into other countries, or domestic adoption. Quite a few single men have adopted successfully, although they have more difficulty doing so than single women or couples.
Sharon
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It's an uphill battle in Estonia but I can attest to the success of single men adopting there. I have a friend (older divorced male) who adopted there last year. I adopted an Estonia boy last year, also. Another friend (single woman) adopted also.
Frankly I'm surprised at the number you found, Sharon. Only 10 in 2001! That seems so small! But anything's possible.
The Estonian system is not very difficult but I wouldn't do it without an agency if you are a single male. Be very careful not to appear as anything but a very straight-laced average Joe, however. They are suspicious of single males being gay. Take a girlfriend along if you can.
The care the children receive is excellent! They are very loved and cared for but the reality of children in institutions eventually comes into play. By age 11 or 12, the children in the city orphanages are becoming street-wise and rapidly losing the innoscence of childhood (but that's also true of US kids!). Some of the kids are able to roam the streets until late in the evening and I suspect drug abuse (sniffing) is the purpose for that. There are orphanages in the country-side too (such as Valga) where the children are much more protected.
On a more positive note, my son and the other boys adopted last year are wonderful kids! They call came from Tallinn, the capital city. They are loving, affectionate, warm, intelligent children. We had some problems in the first year because he is very headstrong and courageous and took a while to trust me. But, all the boys are well-adjusted now and growing physically and emotionally.
They speak Russian as their native language which is probably why they were available for adoption by non-Estonians (although Finns take a good share of the kids, too.) I suspect there is a great deal of prejudice against Russians coming from the days of the Soviet occupation and the throngs of Russians fleeing terrible economic conditions. They are seen as "immigrants" in Estonia.
If you send me an e-mail to devonpds@yahoo.com, I will give you the phone number of a really great agent in the PA area who has very good contacts is Estonia and Eastern Europe. Also, she doesn't have a problem with single males!
Good luck! Be persistent and don't get discouraged. If you truely want a child, it wil happen but you should be prepared for an uphill battle and expect the unexpected!
and represent the total of IR-3 and IR-4 visas issued in that year. You can see them for yourself on the website of the State Department's Office of Children's Issues at [url]http://travel.state.gov/adopt.[/url] Scroll down till you get to the list of countries, then click on Estonia.
Sharon
sharon,
I apologize. I wasn't doubting YOU! It's just that the number seemed so small! After all, I know three other families who adopted in 2002 for a total of 5 children which would represent 50 percent of the adoptions in the previous year! I know it's a small world with the Internet now, but jeeze!
It's possible that only 10 were adopted in 2001. I assume that number is going to be much larger for 2002 and 2003! I saw many children there needing parents and it would be tragic if there was someone or something interferring with the process, making it so difficult that so few found families!
Excuse my sarcasm but... perhaps Estonia borrowed a page from the US adoption design! Maybe THAT would explain such low numbers!
Sharon, while we're on the subject... what's your interest in Estonian adoptions? Did you already adopt or are you in the process? How are you faring, in either case. How do you find the system working?
Again, I apologize and hope I didn't offend too much! Thanks for the info!
Devon
Actually, I'm interested in all international adoptions.
On the personal side, I am the single, 57 year old Mom of a wonderful daughter from China. She was 18.5 mo. old, and I was "only" 51, when she was placed into my arms. She is now seven, and we are having a wonderful time.
On the professional side, I headed an adoption related organization concerned with ethical intercountry adoption, and am now looking at a possible position with an adoption agency that I regard very highly.
I find that, despite the Internet, many parents and parents-to-be still lack good information about international adoption. They fall prey to unethical providers, choose ethical providers that don't do enough parent preparation and don't give enough support after the adoptions, and so on. Where I have some knowledge, and when I have some time, I try to help a bit. I also try to put on the table a few of my opinions, as a person who has seen adoption as a parent and a professional.
I also find that I learn quite a lot about the concerns and needs of families from reading the various bulletin boards, listservs, and such. I hope that it makes me, in my professional life, more sensitive to such things.
And, of course, I must admit that I'm a bit of an Internet "junkie". I spend way too much time on-line.
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I can't argue that the internet is a bit "addictive". In my first couple years, I found myself online in the wee hours of the night, forsaking sleep for surfing. Since I became a parent, I barely have time to watch TV much less surf! I try to stay connected but it's sometimes several days between posts.
I'm a late-bloomer, too. I arrived at age 45 and fell headlong into a "mid-life crisis". My father had begun to fade away from Altzheimers and I finished 20+ years as a businessperson and president of my own company. I felt a need to pass along the wonderful love he'd given me. In my assessment of my life to that point, I found myself regretting that I'd not had children when I had a chance (divorced with no kids).
It suddenly hit me that I was ONLY 45 and NOT DEAD! I could certainly do something about that. I didn't care to get married for that purpose. I liked my freedom and my contentment in being unshackled in a relationship. My accountant told me she was ready to have my child which I really appreciated... we've know each other for several years and been close friends but not lovers. I could have done the surrogate thing but I didn't feel the need to father a child or bring another child into the world while there were kids looking for homes.
I searched the domestic sources and that really frightened me. So many of these children are on medications and therapies for multiple problems. Also, the US system fails in that it waiting until the children are pulverized by the courts, social service agencies and the foster system before it finally make them available for adoption. Then the adoption process is long, complicated, stressful and painful before the child is finally yours.
Finally, I found the international adoption alternative and ended up with my son who was 10 when he came to the US, knowing almost no English and now speaks it like a native after less than two years! He's an amazing kid who, even when he's being obstinant, defiant, implusive, etc.etc.etc, comes through in the most wonderful way. He's charming and funny and tells me that I'm the best Dad he's ever had and that he loves me very much. In fact, he says it more that I say it. I'm usually saying, "I love you, too!" in reply to his announcement. He's a gem of a kid.
The amazing thing is that this child suffered so much so young at the hands of alcoholic parents and grandparents. He saw his grandmother's beaten corpse and his father hauled off the jail for killing her. He was neglected and beaten by his grandfather after his mother adandoned him to her care. In spite of all this, he's loving and compassionate and understanding and, generally patient. Like I said, he's a gem!
I don't take the credit. Although I did take a year off when he came here to make sure he had my complete attention. I think that helped cement our relationship. I drove him to school everyday and picked him up and spent almost every minute with him. I felt he needed this level of attention and support. He was pretty wild when he got here, not trusting of adults, ODD, RAD, PTSD, etc. It took several months but we made it. I credit the Estonia orphanage that gave him such love and care and helped him through his childhood. It gave him a safe and warm environment that fostered his growth and development. There's still much work to be done to get him through some of the trauma he suffered but I'm very appreciative of those who cared for my son in Estonia. They are a marvelous people!
Devon
I am a 40 year old single male. Last year, I flew to Estonia to meet a child. The representative of the Estonian government seemed pretty open to me adopting. I met the child, but there were some significant health issues, I wasn't told about. I decided to adopt elsewhere, though I hope someday to get more information and further pursue the adoption of this child.
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I realize this message comes months after you posted your initial message. I am a single man just beginning my journey to adopt and I have been discouraged by many agencies telling me I just can't do it. So I am so happy to hear that you have done what I'm hoping to do. What agency did you deal with? Thanks.