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My daughter was the 5th child of her Bmom. Bmom is parenting the first 4. How do I explain to her why Bmom couldn't parent her as well? My daughter is only 8 months old now, but I know the question will come up as she grows up. I tell her every day about her adoption and how much her Bmom loved her. All the kid's adoption books, at least the ones I found, say that the Bmom was to young to "keep" the child that is why they were adopted. That isn't the case here. I know I have some time yet, but I want to be prepared, I would appreciate any help. Thanks, Michelle
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I have a simlar situation - the bmom parented the first child but not the second. What I plan on saying is that you mom chose an adoption plan for you because it was in your best interest. Because she loved you so much she chose us as your forever parents...I am still working through this. If you see anything - books or what ever - let me know. I also have some time as well, our son in three weeks old.
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I also have the same situation. My daughter's Birth Mom is parenting 2 children. I spoke recently with my Social Worker who handled the adoption and she said at this point by daughter who is 3 does not even know what adoption is and really doesn't comprehend that her grandfather is actually my Father or her grandmother is actually my Mother. They really don't quite get it yet and to start explaining that they have siblings is much too early even at 3. She said children don't really grasp what adoption is until their around 6 or 7.
We plan on meeting with the Social Worker in the future to go over these issues.
I just have to say one thing. I think sometimes we (adopted parents) think about things too much and worry ourselves about a lot of things. I know I do. But I do recommend asking your Social Worker for their opinion because they've seen and heard it all and are a wealth of information.
My daughter's birthmother had a total of four children. My daughter was the 3rd. The birthmother did not relinquish her first two children, but she did my daughter and then the daughter she had after my daughter.
In Maria's lifebook (my daughter) I explain that the birthmother's circumstances were different at the time that she was born and that it was those circumstances that led her to place Maria for adoption with us. I go on to say that the decision was in no way based on Maria or anything over which she had control, but that it was a similar circumstance that resulted in her 4th child being placed for adoption.
My daughter is five.
If you have any questions, I'd be happy to try and help.