adoptees who never bonded with there aparents and/or who suffered child abuse.

MY EXPERIENCES TOO HAVE BEEN BAD. NOT ONLY WAS I ABUSED BY MY B-PARENTS, BUT ALSO BY MY A-PARENTS AS WELL. I HAVE BEEN RAPED, BEATEN, CURSED, ECT. I REFUSE LOVE FROM MY A-FAMILY.IVE NEVER HAD A REAL RELATIONSHIP, ADN I HOPE CONTACTING MY B-PARENTS WILL BRING THIS TERRIBLE HABIT OUT OF ME.

I'm glad you responded! I believe that we need to talk about owr experiences due to personnal experience. I'm going to tell you some about myself and ask you some questions - I hope that I don't make you feel that I am putting you in a sistuation that makes you uncomferable. I am asking the questions to understand your feelings better. But I do know that many people are ashammed or embarrased to talk about their child abuse. I think adoptees are even more so. What do you think? Never answer a question that makes you uncomferable, or even feel that you need to. Maybe at a latter time you will be able to answer those types of questions.Remember nothing that was one to you was ever your fault! No one should ever be treated like that!I am not a councler, I' just someone who went thowgh chidhood abuse by my afamily and got help. I've had psyotherapy, and am being treated for depression and Post traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from childhood abuse. I am permitaly diabled because of these conditions. PTSD is not just psyological it's chemical. I never met my bmom even tho I was never even gave up for adoption - I was just given away by my bmom. My Birth Certificate's "Father" section is blank. I was cursered at eveyday and raped by a relative when I was 18.I never loved my afamily eigher, maybe due to a lack of bonding. I was given to her at birth but never bonded. I was told that a lot of adoptees never bond with their amoms. You said that you refuse to love you apaerents. Is it realy by choice or is it resentment? I have a lot of resentment for my afamily! Do you think ,maybe; that your not loving them was do to a lack of bonding? Do you love your bpaerents? Can you love? Love is learned, but we are all born with the abllity to love. Do you think that the lack of love for them (eigher set of parents) is because you never learned how to love? I didn't, you have to experience love to learn to love. I got a cat (a dog is just as good) and the love I received from the cat tought me to love that cat in return! So I got a second cat and I larned to love it too! Learning to love people is much harder, excpecaly if you don't trust peaple. I didn't. But I'm learning to trust certain indivduals. And even starting to love (a little - at least care) certain individuals. It's hard to even trust a person, I only truely trust God, myself, and my cat! I only have one now. Trusting a cat sounds silly I know. But think about, it he lives with me, knows me better than anyone else. Sometimes he seems to know me better than I do! And he can't tell a person anythig...Yes it's funny. But when I'm down he's the one who makes me laugh, when I'm i pain he's the one who shows me love and affetion. I don't want you to think I'm crazy and it probably sounds that way. He's just my only companion. I have never had a close friend. And I have never met anyone who wants to hear it over and over and over again, and that is what it takes. I will listen over and over and over again and again because I know that is part of what it takes. I hope you are feeling ok. It's ok to cry for yourself, for others, and for the childhood you lost. I am looking forward to seeing you again, Rayma