Training Time for a 3 1/2 year old Boy

Hi Everybody: K posted the following question on the Parenting to your Child's Temperament forum [url]http://www.adoptionforums.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=206685#post206685[/url] The topic was toilet Training and here was the post: Hi Sabra, Yes please share what worked for you. He loves Superman and said he was Superman the other day; so we asked "Does Superman need to go potty?" And he says "No, Superman doesn't have a peepee." We Need Help! __________________ God Bless, K Hi K: That was a cute response from you son!!!!! Especially when you really think about it LOL. Anyhow superman and little boys are interesting to potty train. There is a book I used to get ideas. I used some of the ideas but not all of them. The book said that potty training is training the child's brain to connect needing to go potty with the response of getting to the potty. Not a decision but a response. And the book recommended making a link to the child's brain through repetition, repetition, repetition. This is done until the child does not even "think" but just goes in and uses the potty. To carve the pathway for the pattern to take place in a child's mind we need to give them practice that is close together so that the memory is current. Then when the action is repeated again and again it has a chance of sinking in. So this is what I did. So funny when I think back on it but it worked!!! My denist would kill me but. (Remember we have children that want to be in charge. Those sweet little first born cholerics do know what they want. ~ smile) So giving them incentive is primary. That is just the way God made them. So I totally stocked up on 7 up and juice, grape soda, stuff I would not really buy except for this special occassion. All the drinks I knew my daughter would love to drink. Both sugar drinks and healthy drinks. I picked two days that we did not go out of the house. (Can't always be done but she was my only child at that point. So luckly I could do it!) For the entire two days my daughter drank and drank and drank the drinks I had for her. She loved it. And we all know what happens when you drink and drink! And she thought it was a game. She would drink and I would say "Pee pee on the potty run quickly, quickly." And she would run to the potty. I used a little separate potty at first. I kept it in the bathroom. I had to make it easy for her to reach so the quick would be quickly. She would get big applause and kiss and hug when she did "go" in the potty. This was a good part of the day for two days. I would basically time it from when she drank I got to know how long approx it would take then. I would say "Pee on the potty, run quikcly, quickly!" Then she would say it too. LOL. After two days I would watch her normal water or apple juice or milk consumption and use the same "conditioning words" "Pee on the potty run quickly, quickly. If she missed by not making it to the potty. We would practice going back and forth running to the potty. She would not even need to go when we did this practice. We were focusing on reprogramming the routine of not making it to the potty but now to make it to the potty. And keeping the positve of the action we wanted not the concentrating on the action we did not want. When we were out in public. I would reward her with fruit chewies (gumpy like candies.) And always lots of priase at home and away. We had this routine she did where we would say her name and that she was a big girl in big girl panties. She even called Grandma and told her what a "big girl" she was. For boys there are these little targets you can put in to the toilet bowl. Some little "supermen" like to hit the target LOL! I carried extra clothing with me wherever I went. It was not really a big hardship if she had an accident. She really didn't have that many. I think what trained her so quickly was the game. It put it into her mind. Then she was proud of herself!! Which really helped. The fact that she is a girl helped make her training short. Boys generally can take longer. Because of her temperament, recognition is big for her. There are lots of different types of ways to make children feel special for their accomplishment. So everything is very, very exaggerated. And those first two days I did almost nothing else but be with her. The praise and the accomplishment were what I focused on. All the positive reinforcements. I did not give her negative except to say wet (meaning wet pants if she did not make it in time.) are icky. We would hold our noses. She would repeat too. And then we would remind each other Potty run quickly, quickly. And we would say so and so is a big girl!! She goes pee pee on the potty!!!!! Like it was the best thing in the whole wide world!!! You will do great. Just allow for the time to make it happen. Hope this is of help. Best to you and your darling superman!