Something that may happen in our family...

Being in a transracial relationship is different than being in a transcultural relationship. Although it's true that even in America, the microcosims of society form their own cultures, it is nothing like marrying someone from another country, and even more is added to the mix if the two person's first languages aren't the same. I know. I am in a transracial and transcultural marriage, and my children are "bi-racial." However, I've noticed in most places on these forums "bi-racial" is considered black and white, not white and Asian, black and Asian, white and Native American, or WHATever. As for what you will do, we have thought about this in regards to our own children. We know what we WON'T do-- we won't be unsupportive like most of the world was to us when we got engaged. Secondly, we won't be surprised. Who knows who our children will be attracted to? What are we supposed to say, "Don't do as we do, do as we say?" Basically, except for discussing the problems with religious and cultural hurdles, people who are against transRACIAL marriage are just plain prejudice. There is no other way to look at it IMHO. I had a really good theological debate partner in college who had he longest theory on why transracial marriages should not take place. It involved some reasoning with the tower of Babel. Ironically, he went to another country as a missionary and married someone from that country who is of a different race! His mind was blown, and his heart and Spirit took over. I always found this very amusing.

my friend who is white and adopted aa twins and i (also white with an adopted bi-racial son) were just talking about this. we was saying it doesn't matter who our sons fall in love with, but wouldn't it be nice if they married someone of asian, or mexican ect. desent than our families would be so rich and multi-cultural. my hope is my the time the boys are old enough to get married our society will learn to embrace differences in people and respect cultures enough to not make race a factor in who one falls in love with.

I love the feedback you have recieved! [list] Personally, I feel like it's a waste of time to worry about what the next man thinks. In today's society, if you are not judged for your race, believe me, they'll get you on your brand of tennis shoes. Remember, they talked about Jesus Christ. Don't mean to get side-tracked, and I certainly understand the concern. If you marry someone for the right reasons, it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Live your life for you. We cannot do anything about the racism in this society, and believe me, I know it's there. What we can do is educate our new generation, meaning our children, to accept people for who they are, not by the color of their skin. (I think Dr. Martin Luther King said something to this effect.) I have raised three bi-racial children and they are all normal, healthy, young ladies. My eldest has married into another race! So much depended on how I felt...because believe me, your children will sense your insecurities. I taught them to be happy and content with who they are. Once a child approached one of my children in a laundromat and asked her what color she was. (Both of them were about 4 years old.) I was flabergasted! My first instinct was to jump to her rescue, but something inside me said to see how she handles it. Well, my daughter proudly looked at this other little girl and said "Jesus' color, what color are you?" She was so confident with her answer, and needless to say, I was so proud! Yes, I am cognisant of the discrimination which exists and I am not saying that your children will never experience hatred because of their race. It's important to remember that people of single races experience it too. As society changes, you will see more and more inter-racial marriages and subsequently more inter-racial children. Good luck to you and God Bless!

The only thing I hope for when it comes to future marriages of my children, is they pick a spouse with honesty, integrity, morals, and values. I wouldn't care if they were purple with green spots. I just want them to marry someone that will treat them well, with love and respect. I also hope they marry for life in a world, that has many divorces. Honestly, with the diversity in our family, there's no telling which race/s the spouse will be. We've had friends that actually were joking saying we needed a little more diversity in our family, so when were we adopting from Asia?! K. BioD-cc, Ason-Hisp, Legal Custody son- biracial (aa/cc)

I love all your responses! It's so great to share like this! I'm so excited...we've just moved into a new neighborhood and we know of one neighbor that has adopted and one neighbor that is considering it!!! Do you know of anyone in your neighborhood that has adopted? warm regards, sherryk

There is no biological basis for race. Certain genes became isolated and people looked certain ways As long as you clarify to your daughter that race is purely a social convention (and social conventions are very important to a person's self-identity, I admit) and that really it is the heart of an individual that matters, then I'm sure she'll look for that. You sound like great parents. As far as stupid people judging by race, you have to keep in mind that people are essentially robots. They don't mean to be dumb or mean; they're just programmed that way. Your daughter may or (hopefully) may not encounter that in relationships, because these robots that say and do these hurtful things because they believe they are real, complete people. As both a multiracial person and a member of a multiracial afamily, I knew growing up and I know now that some people are going to be terrified of me. They see people like us that aren't robots and by living in basically monoracial worlds, they see a part of themselves they've lost and they know how hard it is to get back. Multiracial people or people in a transracial family are constantly changing their definitions of who they are, and monoracial people should more often (not to say they never do). Raising this child can be the best thing to happen in your life in so many ways. Enjoy the unique experience.

Vey well stated![list]

I am also a Filipino. Hope you will raise her successfully with full of love, care and happiness.