Son with serious discipline issues

Have you had your son evaluated for RAD? My six year old is from Romania and I readopted him at four because he was out of control and the mom had issues preventing her from caring for him. Check the radzebra.org website for more info. Also, read Fostercline and Nancy Thomas material if you haven't. The rules should be consistant, not the discipline. An ODD kid will way the odds, is the bad behavior worth the consequence so changing the consequence will prevent him from doing this. I also give my odd child double bind situations "you can do the dishes or clean the bathroom" When my six year old doesn't behave, I time him in for a few hours or the day because he obviously needs help thinking. I also will hold him or rock him anytime he's being defiant. You need to find a prfessional familiar with attachment problems. At six, your son has a good potential to heal quickly with the right treatment.

do u know they have outpatient behavioralprograms that include therapy u sound like u are at wits end so ask for help where help is needed before your mental status is at stake

I have been in your shoes. Your son sounds a lot like mine. I was where you are at 4 years ago. But we have now come full circle. Once we linked with the properly trained specialists my son made good progress and he is an absolute joy now (or as close to a "joy" as any 10 year old can be!!). I agree with the other posters - you need to get a good evaluation for this child. But please beware - a child from a Russian orphanage needs someone who understands his issues. A traditional therapist/psychologist/teacher etc is not likely to understand. Understanding the impact of neglect is truly a speciality. I am speaking from experience and my own mistakes in getting help for my son. We adopted him at age 3 years, 9 months from an orphanage in Russia. Like your son, mine was diagnosed ODD and ADHD. He is neither. In reality, his correct diagnosis are: Reactive Attachment Disorder (now fully resolved thanks to Art), Bipolar 1 Disorder, Sensory Integration Disorder and Central Auditory Processing Disorder. Sounds like a lot, but he is a really neat kid who comes pretty close to blending in with his peers. I would recommend that you read up on RAD to see if you feel it fits your child. You know best. If you think it fits, then I very strongly encourage you to get to the closest attachment therapist. Kids with RAD only get sicker, the earlier you intervene the better. You son might also benefit from an evaluation for sensory integration disorder. But I would recommend getting the behaviors better under control first. You need an OTR certified in sensory integration to do a test called a SIPT (sensory integration and praxis test). Good books include: Attaching in Adoption, Deborah Gray Facilitating Developmental Attachment, Daniel Hughes Parenting the Hurt Child and Adopting the Hurt Child, Greg Keck The Out of Synch Child, Carol Kranowicz (this one is on SID) Good websites include: [url]www.Center4FamilyDevelop.com[/url] (Arts site - has good articles and a description of rad) [url]www.[/url] attach.org (can get listings of therapists) [url]www.nancythomasparenting.com[/url] (has books/videos on a parenting approach many use for kids with rad) Best wishes and keep us posted. DimasMom

Thanks to all of you who answered my posting! For the last night or two I have been reading about RAD and I don't know what to think. It does sound like my son fits the bill in some ways. To date we have been to 3 psycologists, one ADD doctor, 2 psychiatrists and the one 2 1/2 week in-patient stay in a behavioral health center. They all told me the same thing, there are no signs of any type of attachment disorder or sensory integration problems. Did your children seem to bond to you all right away? My son did, he is very affectionate, especially to me, and he usually does not bond with strangers right away. The one thing he does do is, once he gets to know someone, he likes them a lot until they have to repremand him for something he has done. That's when he gets oppositional. This is the pattern with his teachers, especially. Now I am going to start looking for someone who specializes in RAD and have him evaluated. I am willing to try anything and I do still feel like we don't have the whole picture here. I'll keep you posted

Often children with RAD, especially those from oprhanages, act as if they have "bonded" with their care-giver right away. It is more of a superficial and manipulative set of behaviors, not a real attachment... a real emotionally authentic attachment does not develop immediately. The suggestion to get an evaluation by someone familiar with children from orphanages and someone trained in treating children with attachment problems is sound advice. Many children I treat have been misdiagnosed with ADD, ODD and other things because the other therapists don't have the necessary experience or training to do that sort of differential diagnosis. So you need to find an expert in that area. Regards

:) What type of professional would deal with RAD? A psychiatrist, psychologist, etc.? We are currently dealing with a behavior psychologist. This consists of 50min therapy sessions once a week. Behavior charts and positive reinforcement don't seem to be helping. I have three adopted children from Russia. The oldest (9yrs) I think has sensory integration issues. The second (8yrs) definitely has RAD issues. The youngest (5 yrs) hasn't shown any symptoms of anything so far. I have spent the last 3 years trying to get the right kind of help and the right diagnosis. These discussions are the best things so far to help.

Effective treatment can only be provided by a licensed mental health professional (such as a social worker, psychologist, et) who has specific training and experience treating children with trauma-attachment disorders. Unless the person has been trained to provide attachment-based treatment, a child with RAD will NOT improve as there is no other evidence-based effective treatment for this condition except Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (which we practice as do the people I've trained, and as does Daniel Hughes, Ph.D. and people he's trained) or a related attachment therapy. Family therapy, individual therapy, play therapy, behavioral charts and rewards and punishments are NOT effective for such children. A good place to start your search would be the website for the Association for the Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children at [url]www.attach.org[/url] I know a number of people across the country, so if you want to contact me with the area where you are located I may be able to provide you a referral. Generally, psychiatrists, social workers, and psychologists who have not have specific training in attachment therapy are not able ot effectively treat such children. Best wishes,

I read a book this week that the local library found for me and it was really interesting. I will cut and paste the title/author/and one of the customer reviews of it from the amazon book site: Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children by Daniel A. Hughes This book was so interesting and readable, I read it from cover to cover in a day. I'm not a foster parent, I'm a teacher, but I have dealt with emotionally disturbed children in my classroom (in fact, I'm dealing with one this year). This book gave me so much insight into why these children act the way they do. Now I understand why they have such a need to be in control of everything, why they will do destructive things with seemingly no motive whatsoever (breaking their favorite toys, destroying their favorite books, etc.) Now I understand why things always get worse just as they seemed to be getting better. Most importantly, now I understand why these kids can't handle praise and rewards, and why those stupid behavior modification programs the administrators and counselors always suggest always seem to make the problem worse. Thank you Daniel A. Hughes!