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My husband and I are working on our paperwork for domestic adoption, but are not approved as of yet (still have our collage and birth parent letter to go). In our last meeting with our social worker she talked to us a lot about International Adoption and she urged us to think about it. Has anyone else out there decided to do an international adoption instead of domestic? If so, what are some of the reasons you decided to go international? Also, what are some reasons to continue domestic? This is our first adoption and first child. Any thoughts/advice would be greatly appreciated. All this can be very confusing and intimidating! Thanks!
Hello!
I am approved for domestic adoption and in the waiting process right now. Domestic adoption you would most likely get a newborn, and the cost is less. You would also be more likely to have information on the birthfamily and the option of having an open or semi open adoption. With international I think the cost is more, you have more choices of ages I think. The wait is possibly shorter too. Babies will be slightly older though, I think getting a newborn is very hard. Anyway I hope someone has more information on this than I do for you.
I have a question for you or someone else. I know what the agencys fees are regarding international, but is this on top of the countrys fees?
-Hope21
PS- Don't let anyone "talk you into" anything. Do what feels right for you and don't feel guilty about not doing something that ISN'T right for you.
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We are in the process of adopting from Guatemala. We chose international adoption for several reasons:
We didn't want to sell ourselves. I understand why it's necessary but I find it distasteful.
We didn't want to wait indefinitely to be chosen.
We didn't want to get attached to a baby just to have the mom change her mind before or after we received the baby.
We weren't very comfortable with the whole open/semi-open adoption. While I want my child to have the option to find his/her birth mom at some point, I don't want the birth parents involved in our lives now. This may come from my insecurities of not being the "real mom" to my 2 stepdaughters that I've been raising for the past 4 years.
Reasons we chose Guatemala:
Pretty quick process. Pretty much a sure thing that eventually you will get a baby. I'd say 6 - 18 months after you submit your dossier you should expect to have a baby in your arms.
Babies are usually very healthy.
Babies are usually referred a few days after birth so it is possible to have them home by the time they are 4-6 months old. Much younger than most any other country.
Babies are usually cared for by loving foster moms.
Birth moms almost never change their minds.
Travel requirements are only about 3 days. Escorts are possible. You can take extra trips to visit. You can even live in Guatemala and be the foster mom for your baby while you wait. We won't be doing that but it's possible.
Close to home. I'm not a very good traveler. I think traveling to China or Russia would kill me.
Well, that's everything I can think of. I would strongly recommend looking into international adoption. The biggest issue I see is that you have to be comfortable with your child looking nothing like you. If you are, I think the pros definitely out way the cons but you have to do what feels right for you.
Good luck sorting all this out. I think adoption has a way of making your head spin. I know my head hasn't stopped spinning since we decided to pursue adoption.
Jeannine
Jeannine
I liked your comments about adopting internationally verses domestic. We too would like to do a domestic adoption but with this being our third adoption-I have to say trying to sell ourselves is getting harder just because it is so "exhausting" putting yourself out there for all to see. At times I just want to say "Hey look, we were chosen already twice by two BM and that should speak for itself" but that is not how it works. I recently noticed that LDSFA added Guatemala to their program and was pretty excited just because the requirements are a short stay in county and it is closer than most other countries. Could you tell us more about how it is going for you and anything about the fees. I know it is on a sliding scale but that is the theory. Tell us the actual ok. And have you been matched yet with your child yet? Has your agency done any other Guatemala placements yet? Please let us know!
Just my opinion about doing domestic vs international is if it is your first one then I would think that you would be placed with pretty easy just because most BM choose couples who don't have any children yet (or at least that is what many workers have told me). There are many domestic agencies that will tell you though to use more than one avenue instead of sitting there waiting for something to happen....although we didn't, we just sat there and waited and it really didn't take us too long to be placed with ( 1 1/2 years with our first one and about one month for our second). With this being our third-BELIEVE ME- I am having to do my homework to see what is available outside of LDSFS.
When we started the adoption process we were open to either international or domestic and we spoke to several different professionals. We ended up going international, we didn't feel comfortable with the idea of "selling ourselves" and the thought of a birth mother changing her mind was to much. I know it doesn't happen often and you only hear about the horror stories but I thought I wouldn't be able to deal with that. Also we were older first time parents (37 and 40), we wanted a newborn, and we didn't want to wait indefinatly. We ended up choosing China. We now have two daughters, the oldest was 9 months old when they handed her to me and the youngest was 8 months old. We did have to travel and stay for two weeks but that was a great experience both times and I can't wait till my girls are older and we get to go back together. We ended up just feeling pulled in that direction that China was what we were suppose to do. Anyway Good Luck.-
Patty,
I'm not using LDSFS so I can't tell you what their fees are but the private agencies are quoting $25,000 - $28,000. I think that includes most everything. I decided not to go with LDSFS since they were so new to the international adoption scene. I will definitely consider them if we adopt again. I was wondering what is different if you use LDSFS. Are their any additional requirements besides the home study and typical dossier documents?
I am still compiling my dossier so I haven't been matched with a child yet. I hope to be paper ready in a month or so. Good luck adding #3. We are working on #4 and, maybe, #5 but this is our first adoption.
Jeannine
Mom to Amber (15) & Ashley (16) (step) and Katie (3) (bio)
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Thanks for the thoughts on domestic vs. international. We are leaning toward domestic, but of course we must pray about it. As far as the questions concerning how much the international adoption costs.....
Our social worker told us it was a $5,000 minimum and a $10,000 maximum, plus travel costs which could be around $7,500 depending on where you go. She also explained that they are working through two other agencies that have a lot of experience doing international adoptions.
Can anyone give me an idea how the process works for international adoption? How is it different from domestic? Is the paperwork different? How long does it take to get approved, etc.? Thanks.
There is quite a bit more paperwork. You have your homestudy then INS (BCIS now), passports, visas, and dossier. I have been told it isn't for the weak. We have JUST barely begun and I am very excited.
I would like to know if anyone out there has heard about the church doing any Pacific Island programs like Marshall Island (RMI) or Samoa, Tonga etc. for their international programs? I actually have emailed main headquarters for LDSFS on that same questions but any waiting for a return email. Any info is appreciated! I love this forum! Patty in Idaho
They do not have any of these programs. Focus on Children does have a program in Samoa. There are only two agencies that have a program there. [url]www.providentliving.org[/url] lists the countries that the church has a program in.
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Thanks Jenqw
I know of the two agencies, JOH and FOC. We really loved working with our LDSFS agency here in Boise and thought since our first two placements were with them, it would just be so much simpler if we were able to continue with them. Not to mention that for now, the cost would probably be around what we could afford. :( I have been looking at the provident living website (isn't it great!) and we actually thought about putting our profile up there with the rest. At first there were just a few adoptive parent profiles, now it's hard to count how many there are and I have a feeling it will be much larger in a few months. I was hoping that somewhere thru the grapevine someone maybe has heard (rumor) of expanding adoptions in the Pacific Isles. I even wondered how there Family Services handles that because I know that they have quite a few members in Samoa alone.
We had an agency call us over the weekend to see if we might be interested in excepting a placement due to be born in a few weeks. We don't have any paperwork in with them yet etc. Can you believe it....a dream come true but the fees are too high for us. In the 17's plus. We thought we would just tell them what we could afford and who knows....if it's meant to be!
Thanks again for the info...
I appreciate your helpfulness.
Patty in Idaho:D