Is This Extreme

Dear Sherrita, I don't know if it is wise to get a private investigator or not. But I do understand the angst that you are going through. It is the ugly part of the foster to adopt syndrom. A birth mother goes through a lot of pain to bring a child into the world. This is part of the pain of adoption and it lasts longer then hours or days, it last months and sometimes years. You really have to have faith in God and in the 'system'. When I was going through a similar situation my attorney reminded me that I had a contract with the state to take care of my baby and to do everything in my power to help her reunite with her birth mother/family, and that if DCF thought I was not keeping my side of the contract, that they could remove my baby from my home. If the mother is not fit to take care of her children, the state will terminate her parental rights. If she is able to care for her child, she should be allowed to do so. In your case it sounds like she is truely not capable of mothering her child. Unfortunately it is a long and painful process. Does your child have a GAL? In my case, I supervised the visits, and when it got too uncomfortable for all concerned, the GAL made her visits then so she could document the interaction between birth mother and baby. One of the ways this helped was that she was able to document how stressful it was for the baby to leave me and that she was not attached to the birth mother. I also though, was very good to birth mother and her family. They knew I was committed to the best interest of the baby and I would always say to them, " The only way this baby will ever leave my home is when she goes home to you." I made albums for grandparents and bmom....I kept pictures of the family in baby's room. When bmom got pregnant again I bought her and new baby gifts. In the end, bfamily convinced bmother to terminate. They saw for themselves that our girl was better off with me. Bmother also lost he next baby to the state. But back to your situation.......just hang in their and advocate for the child. SAJ

THANKS AGAIN, YOU REALLY HELPED ME TO THINK ABOUT MY SITUATION. I TAKE WHAT YOU SAID INTO CONSIDERATION. THIS WEBSITE IS THE BEST. I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT I COULD GET PEOPLE TO GIVE ME THERE OPINIONS AS WELL AS LISTEN TO MY QUESTIONS AND OPINIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT. I FEEL REALLY BLESSED RIGHT NOW. THANKS TO THIS WEBSITE AND SUPPORTERS LIKE YOU.

Sherrita, It is the job of your department of child services to make sure that court orders are enforced. If you suspect that the court order is being violated then it is their responsibility to check into it. If they refuse, some public guardian offices (who the GALs work for) also have investigative units. The public guardian in our state uses their investigative unit to help keep the department of child services accountable for protecting the children. Blessings,

THANKS SUZY, I'VE TALKED TO MY BABY GAL AND HE'S NOT REALLY HELPING ME LIKE I THINK HE SHOULD. I'VE LET HIM KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON BUT NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE. I'M JUST GOING TO TRUST GOD ON THIS. I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THE THINGS saj SAID ALSO. I BELIEVE GOD WILL SETTLE THIS CASE. I'LL LET EVERYONE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AT THIS NEXT COURT DATE. AGAIN, THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT.

Social Services does not do a very good job of keeping kids safe. You are kind of in a bad place though. Hiring a detective really won't help as they would not use the info any way. Stick by the child. It is sad that the GAL is not really looking out for the kid. Does the child have a CASA worker or there a child abuse evaluation place or something like that in your area. Even those things may not help. Good luck! I really do believe God has a plan for each person's life. If I had gotten to keep my 3 foster kids then I would have never been my son's mom and he probably would have been put away in an insitution for his life. I still miss my 3 foster kids though.