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I am just starting my search and know that I was adopted through Catholic Charities. I am hearing all kinds of horrible stories about dealing with them and the unbelievable manipulations which took place during the 60's and 70's. I would like to cut to the chase and hire a lawyer to take them to court, but, is this even possible? I was adopted and supposedly born in Manhattan. Any advice would be appreciated.
Hi Jessica,
I see here that were also through Catholic Charities. I am tring to help a co worker find her birth mom. She knows her birth name and where it all took place. Is there anything you can suggest for me to do to help her?
Thanks so much, Marti
jessi19792001
I am an adoptee and I live in Illinois. I was adopted out of Catholic Charities also. My experience of search and reunion with CC was absolutely awful. Two years ago, I got a phone call from CC. I found that my birthfather was searching for me. They arranged were I would meet with a social worker from CC. Not even 5 minutes after meeting her, she not only talked down to me, but straight out lied to me more than once through the process of meeting my birthfather. I have so much to tell, but really its alot and its all negative on C.C. part. I found my birthmother's mother in the mean-time. I plan on going through her when my birthmother is ready for contact due to the horrific events that took place back two years ago. If I could give you any advice, pay the extra money and get a lawyer or private investigator involved. If I could have turned back time, I know I would have. It would have given me more peace of mind. If you have any questions regarding this, please dont hesistate to ask.
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I cannot begin to tell lyou the coercion and manipulation used by CC in the 60's. It gets worse..I had signed a form stating that my son could contact me when he became of age...(18)..he was never given that information when the time came...He finally did find me and CC was very supportive as of a year ago. Is it any wonder considering the state of the church in 2005? The arrogance of SW's in the 60's is beyond my comprehension...
Last summer while at A Catholic Family conference I met a Ressurection nun whose order ran the St Vincents home in Chicago for unwed mothers. We had quite a discussion regarding the ins and outs of the adoption process back in those days.
What the nuns did and the policies that were in place are incredibly hard to fathom to us today. Rest assured.
But I also wonder that there was a different mentality regarding unwed mothers then. Ir wasnt acceptable, though i dont much agree with putting shame on a woman. But we didnt have enough psychology advances to show that adoption, just like abortion- hurts women and children.
We can get angry at the system they had in place all we want but it wont change the fact as to what happened and what had occured. What we can do now, today is with the advanced knowledge is to make sure that it doesnt repeat itself. And all sides can equally get help in dealing with the problems or concerns in the Triad
Just like verything else in life- in the world- things take time to evolve. We learn from mistakes of the past and do our best to make sure they dont continue to occur.
To think that it was all some sort of conspiracy is silly to me, i personally believe that it was the lack of knowledge that was the guiding post at that time.
Downright SICK what people will do for MONEY !
my son's adoption was through the catholic soc.
services(Peoria,ILL.),no sooner had I signed the
papers---they slammed the door in my face !
(that was in early 1987) !
Patrick's birthmother,in ILL.
Lori Weis
would really like to chat more with you about catholic nuns !
my aunt was one for awhile---but did not take her final vows !
PLEASE e-mail me !
erin_lassie3@hotmail.com
Patrick's birthmother,in ILL.
Lori Weis
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Hi- I'm new at this and I am just looking to get some (hopefully positive) input concerning adoption thru Catholic Charities. My husband and I have 2 girls of our own, 4 and 1 1/2. We are in the very beginning stages of adopting - probably a domestic biracial infant....any advice out there would be great!! Thanks...:)
As I have posted in other threads, I started my search a very short time ago with CC. Let me start off by saying that I am no fan of the Catholic Church. I was raised Catholic and went through 12 years of Cathoic School etc, but as soon as I was old enough to choose not to participate, I didn't.
HOWEVER, I must say that the CC agency I was dealing with was excellent --I can't tell you how much easier it was than I thought --Once I contacted them they went out of their way to contact me --It did tweak me a bit to write out a $200 check to a Catholic agency--especially not knowing what to expect, but it was sooo worth it for the wonderful reunion I had. I still can't believe how many steps I think they skipped and how quickly it happend. The case worker (who looked to be about 75+ years old) even admitted to things going way quicker than normal because she was retiring the day of my reunion at the office. I signed a form that I sent with my check, but nothing was notarized or anything --there was not tons of paperwork or delays--it really seemed kind of informal--of course it turned out their "search" probably took 10 minutes --my bmom had gone back to her maiden name and was living in the same town --about 15 minutes from the agency. So I guess this is a lesson in hope --sometimes you get breaks when you least expect them and from the places you least expect them.
One thing I've been wondering about is why the attitudes and rules are so different at each CC agency? There are such horror stories. Is it possible to have a sympathetic agency intervene with a not so sympathetic agency in another location? Do all CC agencies offer post adoption/ confidential intermediary searches?
Kerry
eyejustam
I just received a copy of my original certificate of baptism.
I would love to get this. How do I do it?
I was able to get my original baptismal certificate because I had my birthname. Did not know which church that I was baptized in. Contacted the local diocese with my birthname and date of birth and they looked me up on their index. I was found and they gave me the name of the church that I was baptized at. Called the church with birthname and birthdate. Received my baptismal certificate within a week or week and a half.
Janet
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Hi. I am also a CC birthmother from Long Island. I gave up Neil in February 1970. I was in the Maria Regina CC Residence in Port Jefferson NY. I also was told no records are available.
Janet Heath
I was able to get my original baptismal certificate because I had my birthname. Did not know which church that I was baptized in. Contacted the local diocese with my birthname and date of birth and they looked me up on their index. I was found and they gave me the name of the church that I was baptized at. Called the church with birthname and birthdate. Received my baptismal certificate within a week or week and a half.
Janet
Wish it could be that easy for all of us..I have my amdnded baptismal cert...but I was baptized in the chapel of St Vincent's Hospital which was directly connected to ST Anthony's Home for Infants in KC,MO.
The only part of that location still in place is the building that housed the mothers to be.....all the rest is gone. And I don''t know if the diosese would have anything else. Doesn't matter now as I located my birthmother...she died last Sept. But I don't know who the bfather is and unless I could find a way for CC to share that info which was whited out on the non id info, I'll never know as the state office told me it was not given to them, or they don't have it in their records...
who knows... :woohoo: :grr: :(
Because CC adopted children into alcoholic families for one. Our SW new my mother went to 12 years of school with her and knew my adoptive father was a drunk!. They all knew. CC .
Also its common sense, compassion that these workers lack not licensure. School does not prepare workers for what is really out there.
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Lots of babies were born in the 60s the late baby boomers some say. Agencies placed children with what they belieed were white middle class families. Ask around. I hae spoken and know intimately several people born then and adopted into seriuously dysfunctional families. It is not surprising that most private agencies that take on welfare cases fail to serve in every repect.
My husband just found out, at age 60 , he was adopted through Catholic Charities in Philadelphia in 1963. Anyone have any info on adoptions back then? It says he was adopted at 5 weeks. We should get non identifying information next week. His adopted mother just died, and the truth came out after. Was it common not to tell children/adults that they were adopted back then?