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Hello,
I hope you can bear with my rambling questions on this. I have enjoyed your stories and posts and have felt inspired by your experiences. DH and I are LDS and have been married just under 4 years and have been dealing with male and female IF for 3 years.
We are just beginning to explore the adoption arena and so of course we have some questions that I hope you all have some insight on.
1. We have done some IF treatment, but I am not emotionally comfortable pursuing anything more, including IVF. Do you have to prove to LDSFS that you are infertile? If so, what does that entail? Do they want you to have done everything you can medically before trying to adopt?
2. DH and I live in the Bay area of California (very pricey) and although we are financially stable, there is no way we could buy a house there. Is living in an apartment looked down on in this process, namely in the homestudy?
3. DH is in his last year of graduate school and we will likely be moving in a year or so. Is it possible to get the adoption process going in one area even if you are likely to move? Can you "transfer" your file or something, or would it be advisable to wait another year? (Ug, more waiting)
Okay, I think that is all I can think of for now. I appreciate your willingness to share your insights.
Mare
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Hi Mare,
I am sorry to hear about your IF but I know that whayever you decide, the Lord will guide you. Let me see if I can answer some of your questions....
1. We have done some IF treatment, but I am not emotionally comfortable pursuing anything more, including IVF. Do you have to prove to LDSFS that you are infertile? No, you can adopt through LDSFS after 2 years of marriage with proven medical infertility and after 3 years without having to provide documentation. So, since you are 4 years, you can start the process. You do not have to do everything medically before trying to adopt if you are not comfortable with it. It is up to you. When you request an info packet from LDSFS, it has some additional info about it if you still have questions.
2. DH and I live in the Bay area of California (very pricey) and although we are financially stable, there is no way we could buy a house there. Is living in an apartment looked down on in this process, namely in the homestudy? No, the homestudy just makes sure that your home is safe (i.e. plastic plugs on electrical outlets, etc) and that you have room for a baby. You can be a renter, I am and they said it was not a problem, my husband will be done with school in December. (YEAH!)
3. DH is in his last year of graduate school and we will likely be moving in a year or so. Is it possible to get the adoption process going in one area even if you are likely to move? Can you "transfer" your file or something, or would it be advisable to wait another year? (Ug, more waiting) I am not possitive on this one but I beleive you would just transfer to another office and the process continues. I beleive they would just have to come out and recertify your house with another homestudy.
Well, I hope that thay helps. The best thing to do is just look on the church webpage, go to provident living, click on social and emotional strength, LDS Family Services, and then the section on adoptive parents. It will give you some more general information and you can call your local office and they can answer other specific questions and send you a packet. Feel free to PM me if you need anything else or just post it here. One of us will be happy to answer.
Good luck and congrats on DH almost finishing school!
LBL
:)
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For us IVF was $$$$ problem
As far as moving goes....just stay in the same state....We lived in 2 states within the past 5 yrs and we have to get fingerprinted and FBI clearance now in addition to the rest. DH and I also have mal/female IF. Mainly they look at if you have dealt with the grief of your IF and if you can easily pay your bills and if your home is child safe. Keep us posted!I actually picked up my application last nov and I held on to it and pondered and obsessed and grieved then turned it in in March. DH just told me he is on question 7 of 41 !!!!! he still needs physical and we gotta get insurance THEN WE WAIT FOR THE APPROVAL..... as far as I know, FBI oughta come back CLEAN!