Most Important Qualities for Adoptive Parents

Tincan Hi, There are alot of grandparents that raise their grandchildren. Are you able to talk openly with your family and tell them really how you feel. Maybe If you could you will be able to sleep better at night.

I can talk openly with them its bringing up the subject that has me worried.

Tincan, Have any of them given you any indication that this is what they want also? If it is ok . May I ask hold you are? Do they know your pregnant yet? Sorry everyone we have kinda gotten off the subject..... Tincan if you want to start a new thread I will follow. Thanks

They do know I am pregnant. I am due at the end of may. They never said if they would be willing to parent my twins. I am 21 years old.

Well as hard as it is honesty is the best policy. Raising a baby is at least 18 years of a full time job. Sometimes things that are tough to say in person we can express better on paper . If it is difficult for you to bring up the subject . Write them a letter , and ask them how they would feel raising your child, not knowing your situation very well , be prepared for either answer. Someone going to be raising twins ,I would think needs some time in getting ready. Do they work? Our they financially prepared? Of course on the other hand there are people who want children so bad that could be ready in five minutes, but just thought I'd give you (if you haven't already) things to think of. Twins are a touble blessing. I've been reading it sounds like they are more work but twice as fun :)

My parents do work. My mom owns a nursing home. My dad owns a grocery store and works part time as a jail guard. They are financially well off. so money is not a problem. Now that I think about it I dont feel comfortable with someone outside of family raising my twins. I talked to my aunt earlier and she said she will come over tomorrow and help me talk to my parents about them adopting my twins. My aunt said she will ask them for me if they will raise them but she wants me there. so its a big relief off my mind.

I am so glad for you. Well good luck tomorrow.. Keep us all posted I'll be thinking and praying for you .

My aunt and I are very close. I just got done talking to my dad about it so I may not need my aunt after all but she can still come over. He says its something to think about and hes going to discuss it further with my mom when she gets home.

DebJoe, That is a very good question. Birth mothers look for different things, depending upon their situation. And as someone mentioned, it usually does stem from how we were raised. As a birth mother, one of the things I wanted for my child, was to have siblings. So when I met a family that had an older daughter, I knew it was something I wanted. Some bmoms-to-be might look for a family with the same religious bakground or values, etc. And for most bmoms there are no specific questions to ask or guidleines to follow, its something that feels right in your heart! best of luck to you, Coley

Birth parents are so very different in what they look for in adoptive parents. Some have a specific religion or ethnicity they are looking for. Others have income level, place of residence, and truthsize of family in mind. I think most birthparents want couple who has been married for awhile and one without too many other children. But the most important thing, at least to me, was finding someone who would be real and honest. Someone who won't sugarcoat things, or offer things they aren't willing to do. Be truthful about what kind of adoption you would like and how you feel about certain issues that the birthparents may ask you abut. Because if you aren't honest now, the truth will eventually come out, and the birth parents will be unhappy with you and/or the adoption. So, in a nutshell: Be yourself

Hi Tincan, Did you decide to parent your babies! If so I wish you all the luck in the world. Gosh I would adopt them if I had the opportunity! I love animals! I have two dogs and a horse, great house, great marriage and lots of love to give! I am christian though and I live in Ca. Anyhow, I just wanted to say God Bless! I know there is a baby for me out there somewhere! You just sound like a nice young woman who loves her babies. I think you are brave for giving them the chance to have a life! I hope all works out for you! God Bless!!

well i am a birthmother who is about to give birth to a baby boy, he is due on aug. 22nd, i am about 7 and half mos preg., i have already found a family, and i love them to death, i live in Az and they live in Iowa. i was working as a telemarketer and they happend to be on the people on my list to call. the lady on the phone asked me why she should participate in doing my survey and i told her that she would be helping a pregnant 18 year old do her job, and she asked me how far a long i was and so on, (i guess its a female thing) and i told her i was only a month and that i was going to do adoption. thats when she told me her husband and she could not have kids and were looking into adoptiong themselves. i guess you could say its fate, we talk everyday on the phone and they fly down often and came down for the sonogram, after seeing them watch my 16 week old baby with wantfull and caring eyes, i cried for joy because i knew that they were very nice and caring people, i grew up in a big loving family, (i only have one brother who is 6 years old) but i have lots of aunts and uncles and cousins, and growing up with all of them was very good for me, so when i found out that they too have a family like that, it was a good thing, the biggest thing for me is to make sure he will be loved, and by seeing the adoptive parents mixed with their loving family, really meant alot to me. i saw how they are with their family and how their family is to children, and i t couldnt have been more perfect. Maegan

Maegan, Bless your heart. That is so awesome and yes that sounds like fate. What a neat story. I wish you the very best of luck . You sound like a great kid.

Adoptive parents who model respect and integrity to their children by keeping their word of openness to their child's first parents -- although, it is tough (if not impossible) to know that will happen until after the placement. You can learn more about birthmothers at my site: [url]www.lifemothers.com[/url] There are a lot of great answers here on this thread too! Take care - Skye

I Adopted 2 Daughters who are from 2 different Cultures. Because of Birth Defects, I can't experience the Miracle of Birthing but now with more emphasis on Adopting other races. I would hope that my child's Culture and Heritage would be remembered and Modeled by the Adoptive Parents.