Please Help Me Recover

I read your story on another thread and just wanted to say I feel so badly for you. Please try to find a support group in your area or a counselor experienced in adoption counseling. You're right, you do need to find the power to move forward - it won't be easy, but you can do it. The sooner you connect with some help, the sooner you will come to terms with this situation. Please let us know how you're doing. Warmest regards -

Dakota, I agree that you need to find a support group to help you through this. Plus have you thought about doing one-on-one counseling? You need someone to help you during this period. My prayers are with you.

Your post is sounding a lot like people involved in that scam. I wish I knew how to find it to link it for you. But search for it if you can. Its a woman that says she is your bdaughter online, even sends pictures, then disappears. So sorry for your loss. Aimee

It is very hard(VERY)! But you have to, give yourself and your birth daughter breathing space, believe me I am right there, we found our son and thought we were to have a relationship(he said he'd like to have one)only to have all contact dropped, I think it was pretty much all my fault, because I pushed, wrote constantly sent pics ect. It wasnt that I was trying to force myself on him? or was I? My pain only grew until it consumed me, the need to know him to have some sort of relationship with him was all that I could think of, it has ben 4-5 months now since he had the email disconnected...I am finally healing, it is still hard and I deal with it on a daily basis but I am surviving and guess what so is my family his birthfamily, I gave him the best I could at the time and have punished myself endlessly for years for the choices we made, I have stopped or am getting to the stopped place, I feel better about myself because I realize that there is nothing I can do to change the past and I cannot go on living in pain and regret all that I can do is hope that one day he will want a realationship and if he does not there again there is nothing I can do about it(make his life miserible by pursuing him, I THINK NOT) It is his choice and if he is happy and healthy thats all I ask for, I do not need to cause him pain, it hurts me even more so to know that I have just by contacting him, but at least he knows I do love him and that he does not have to search us out or hunt for medical info. he knows where we are and who we are, he knows he has a full bio sis and bro and that his bio parents are still togeather In the mean time I have a family to take care of and they need me for them and not wrapped in pain from the past that I cannot change, my greatest wish is that all his dreams come true and that he is never in pain from his adoption, I of course would like to meet at least once but I will never force it again I cannot do that to him his mom and dad or me and my family Its been a long time in coming, but I cannot blame anyone but myself and I cannot ask anything of him as far as any relationship goes (I gave up that right) There I said it, does my saying it make it any better? YES;) it means I am letting go of a dream an unrealistic dream of fantasy of things that may never happen and if they do well then I can say dreams really do come true! Good luck on finding that place within yourself where you can start over and live again breath again and be free from the pain, it never goes away but it does get better, learning to control your pain and redirecting it to much more useful subjects in your life is the key I think along with time and possibly counseling, time doesnt fix everything but it sure can make it better.