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Hi I am also new to this forum and also to this foster adoption process. I have a love for children, and have 2 boys of my own, my husband and I are looking to adopt a baby girl and maybe even a sibbling set. We have just started the process and are waiting our homestudy. I already have had some emotions about this and most of it being anxious. I have heard some stories about children placed in homes and then fights with the court systems to keep the children. Can I expect this to happen to us and how can I prepare my self and my family ???
If you're doing foster/adopt, yes, the chances of children going back to birth families is very strong. That is the first goal in foster care.
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I just wanted to say wouldn't the chance be smaller if the level you have requested to be in is 5 meaning possibilities of child returning to biological parent slim. This is what the social worker told us at our orientation process, Have you been through this process. My husband and I are being listed as foster parents for children who are to be adopted, they told us this wold be a way for us to be with the child we are adopting while the adoption is taking place. What is your story , have you had an negative experience which is why you may look at foster adoptions negatively? I am just asking so I amy prepare my self and my family!!!Thankyou
I don't feel negative about foster/adoptions, but I have seen children spend 18 months in foster homes with adoption as the goal only to be removed to a birth parent. I have a really good friend going through this right now. This child's 4 sibs were already adopted and this child was not suppose to return home.
I also have a friend who requested only children who were probably not going home only to get talked into the emergency placement of a child she wants to keep who is(and should be) going back to heis birth parents. I have watched her interfere with reunification.
While I believe foster parents should be given the first option of adopting a child who has been in their care should that child find adoption as his permanant goal. However, I do not believe foster care should be pushed by social workers to parents who are hoping to adopt only. It's unfair to both the parents and the children.
i LOOK AT ADOPTION THROUGH SOCIAL SERVICES AS A WAY TO PROVIDE A WARM AND FRIENDLY PLACE TO ANOTHER CHILD WHO IS IN DESPERATE NEED FOR THOSE WHO WILL LOVE THEM. I HAVE A FRIEND WHO INTRODUCED ME TO ADOPTIONS THROUGH SOCIAL SERVICES WHO HAS A INFANT SON WHOM THEY ARE FINALIZING HIS ADOPTION. SHE DID HAVE SOME CLOSE CALLS ALSO WITH THE CHILD ALMOST GOING BACK TO THE BIOLOGICAL PARENTS. AS I HAVE BEEN READING THIS FORUM I HAVE BEEN LEARNING VALUABLE LESSONS THAT I WILL TAKE WITH ME THROUGH THIS PROCESS. MY HEART IS GUIDING ME HERE AND I REALLY BELIEVE THAT GOD WILL HELP ME FIND A CHILD I CAN ADOPT BUT THROUGH THE PROCESS IF I CAN HELP SOME CHILDREN ALONG THE WAY THAT IS WHAT I WILL DO. AFTER ALL I BELIEVE THAT IS WHAT THE MISSION IS FOR THE FOSTER-ADOPTION PROGRAM. I AM FEELING MORE CONFIDENT NOW THAN I DID WHEN I MADE THIS POST. I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH THROUGH THIS FORUM AND I HOPE THESE LESSON WILL HELP ME TO KEEP BELIEVING AND KEEP ME STRONG....
You have a great attitude about why you want to go this route. When we have a passion for children and know that God is using us in their lives it gives us strength. My dh and I began our journey wanting only to consider children who were already legally free. I don't know about other states, but in our state judges are reluctant to completely terminate parental rights until an adoptive family has been identified. They don't like to make a child a "legal orphan". Our agency warned us about this ahead of time, but we still insisted on doing it "our" way. First, there weren't too many children who fit that criteria due to the above, and second, God had a different plan. Our agency called with an emergency placement of a sibling group of three. Even though they had been in foster care for 2 years we were told that their case would be uncertain for another 18 months due to botched work from a previous agency that had lost their foster contract with the state. Less than a month after they came to our home there was a court date on their case during which tpr was ordered to begin and we were asked if we wanted to adopt them. Our adoption was finalized approximately 11 months from the day they came into our lives. We never prayed for what we wanted, we only prayed that God's will would be done for these beautiful children. Had the result been different and they had been reunified, it would have been heartbreaking for us but we still would have known that it was God's will and who would we be to argue with that.
Blessings,
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I foster parented for 5 years. I did adopt my girls through that way. But there was always a risk, even 6 month after finalization in this state (every state has slightly different laws) that any biological relative could hault the adoption and have the kids placed with them.
I also fostered 3 children for 13 months. the oldest had just turned 5 when I got them. It was there 3rd long term placement in FC in our state (they had spent 8 months in FC out of state) We even added it up on time and b-mom had only had the youngest in her home 7 months of his life (he was 4 when he left me) They had a bad SW and very uneducated GAL (or at least he knew nothing about family law and foster care, etc...)
I am still grieving their loss (they were returned to b-mom who is a crack addict, etc... to live in a hotel room with her and they are once again in FC in another state.)
They tell us here that only about 18% of foster kids who enter care are adopted by their foster parent and that 60% return to birth family and never come back, some of the rest go in and out of care and some of the others go onto long term foster care until they age out, others are adopted by some one not their foster parent.
They have also said that 80% of the foster kids that get adopted are adopted by their foster parents.
If you can stand the pain then go for it.
It is possible to get a just adoption homestudy completed and send it out all over the country.
Good luck!
Thankyou all for talking with me about this issue. I am looking at social services as a place in which I can make my home open to those in need and have a chance to bring theminto my family and with a good sw allow this child to remain permenately in our home. Me friend is finalizing her adoption on June 12,2003. Her baby is 9mos. I can only hope i am blessed with a quick adoption as she was.. has anyone adopted from the state of california before????