New and concerned

Hi Holly, You should go to [url]www.adoptionshop.com[/url] or [url]www.tapestrybooks.com[/url] and check out some of their transcultural and transracial adoption books. I've heard they are extremely helpful!

Like you that is what I was hoping to hear from. Personal stories are so much easier to glean info from then a book.

Our experience is personal. We are a multi-cultural, multiracial family. I am Irish American; husband is Thai, and our daughter happens to be African American. There are many considerations when discussing adoption; there are even more when contemplating transracial adoption. I know that there are many opinions on the subject. First and foremost, we read extensively before embarking on our journey; we read not for what we would experience but what this life would be like for a child. We concluded while there are many important things to consider, the most important factors are: 1) having family/friend support; 2) living in a diverse community. Luckily we had both; we already had a racially diverse and exposed family. Our friends are racially and religiously diverse. As a parent, you must be prepared to sever any and all familial ties that threaten the self esteem of your child. I do not believe in the "they will come around" theory. Living in a large metopolitan area, families tend to be diverse, in all ways. I believe that how you became a family and your external differences are less significant. Of course, there are exceptions in both large and small communities. It is imperative that minority children are surrounded by some who resemble them. Holly, what is disconcerting about your post is the reference to local lack of acceptance (i.e. electric workers refusing service). I personally would not want to live in such a narrow community, much less have an interracial family there. Is it possible that this was a rare event, or is this the norm? You state, "We do live in a rural community in Maryland where we do see racism from time to time. " I am not sure what that means; would your child be a target for harassment? How might you, as an adopted child and as a minority, feel growing up there? Is this a community that promotes diversity, being free of spirit and independent thinking? Is this a community that values others based on their genuiness of heart, spiritual awareness and ability to contribute rather than superficial factors? There are many questions about your community and your family that you have to ask yourself; such answers will often indicate the readiness for transracial adoption. Best of luck on your journey, regardless of your path. I am around on occasion to answer additional questions.

Holly, Hi,I am the adoptive parent of 5. 3 bi-racial and 2 AA. Please email me and I will answer any Questions you may have. Mary johnwe1@attbi.com

Hi Hollynsteve, Email me privately at asil1us17@cs.com. I live in Maryland and know about the subtle racism that occurs. I am AA but I went to a high school that was 99% Caucasian so I know how it feels to be a true minority. Please email me so I can provide some insight to your situation.

Thanks so much for your help. We are going tomorrow to talk to our agency. This being one of the items on our list. Unfortunately, it's one of the smaller things. (Like it could really be small but compared to the other things going on it is.) I'd still like to hear from anyone who has had experiences with raising an AA child.