M's ADOPTION FINALIZATION!!!!!!!!!

This journal is supposed to be about foster/adopt however we have been in the process of a step-parent adoption that took FOREVER. Just got the call and it will be finalized March 19th!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mom just happens to be here during that time, I tell you things like this don't happen by chance. This was a totally spur of the moment trip for my mom-and she will be here for a much anticipated adoption. Eli is adjusting quickly to our home. I love this little guy. We spend all day playing, snuggling and being together. I taught him how to play catch with his bitty ball-now he throws EVERYTHING and thinks its so darn funny. Those dimples, they kill me every time. Attachment parenting is going well, he enjoys his Mei Tai time. For the past two days poor little guy has been having a mild temp and just not feeling well, today he was down right sick, took him to the Dr. and he has a "virus" so nothing we can do. It's just sad. Your forgot what it was like when your baby is sick, such a helpless feeling. So for the past 2 days he hasn't wanted his bottle much. When he takes his bottle he maintains beautiful eye contact and after bottle he plays with my face, we sing, play games making silly noises all with eye contact in cradle position for a good 30-60 min-whenever he gets tired and wants to get down we then move on to play or he falls asleep in my arms (and this is heaven for me to just love and snuggle). My house is not getting much attention. I think the bottle/cradle hold time is the best bonding tool we have right now. Over the weekend instead of trying to go to EVERYONE-cause he's that kind of baby who will "mommy shop." He would reach for a person out of habit and then he would put his head on my shoulder like he knew he was with me. So huge!!! Well since not having our eye contact and play time-cause he's sick and won't take bottle well I noticed the bond is not as deep. He tried to go to a nurse (total stranger) and a friend (total stranger.) I know most people would think I'm being paranoid but this is a lot of going with your gut. He has attachment issues. BUT I know we can heal his heart. So today I spent a lot of time snuggling and holding him while he slept-my poor sick baby. It paid off and I feel that bond starting to tighten again. Its solidified that our attachment is my #1 priority right now. I'm just thrilled to see that this attachment stuff is working and not only does it help Eli it helps me as well to love and bond with him. I get my "baby fix" by feeding him a bottle and rocking/singing to him. The love I feel for this kiddo is amazing-this is my little boy. His mom hasn't made any contact-I know this is not something you should hope for. I did get sad thinking of her missing him on his first birthday. I also thought of her when I went through his things and found a bag that foster mom told me was from her. I found his hospital ID tag, I found little clothes with tags on them. I found a beautiful quilted blanket. She loves her baby. Sometimes love is letting go and in my heart I think this is what she is doing. Given what I know about her situation and addiction issues she may have given him the greatest gift she can give him. I have a secret wish in my heart that she will contact and that we can build a relationship that will allow her to consent to the adoption. The SW feels she would very much consider consent and plans on asking for it should she contact them. Wish I had more time to write.