Gray clouds have cleared.

First a shout out to my cyber friends.... Forever Family... YIPPEE amazing :-) M...rocks....how wonderful, she is such an amazing kiddo I love hearing about her tremendous growth and well...hello? she's awesome at EVERYTHING. C is just a beauty and amazing and gonna have some big shoes to fill (effortlessly...I'm sure) ....and Eli...call me let's talk, we need a male member of the band FOR SURE...I just...I love hearing about your family....it just gives me more proof....proof in the amazing amazing of it all...thank you. PAULA.....get that nurses degree girl YOU'RE AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! I love ya! And your kids (and hot hubby :-) will be so proud of all you are doing! Tudu...I wanna hear you're the parent of a biracial newborn...:-) boy! (but selfishly as said before....girl. :-) I need to swap hair ideas...and well after Eli and Ari...start their band???? ...you know we may need another singer :-) Not that any other of your beautiful kiddos...couldn't join. :-) Pechocha...congrats on THE FINALIZATION!!!!!!!!!! Sophia is an angel. Ahimsa....so nice to hear from you :-) How are your beauties....I miss hearing from you....miss the stories :-( Ok...while my producer woes are not resolved and neither are the lawyer issues....I feel much better. Maybe because in three days I will be basking on the beaches of Hawaii...maybe because I have begun a new and AMAZING project....and maybe because I can fianlly see the furture unfold. For the amazing project....I will be starting a blog soon about my writing, but it is about a Czech freedom fighter that was a mother and a wife who fought against oppression and was executed. When I go to the Czech Republic...I will be speaking with her daughter who, when she was 16, was taken to a prison cell and kissed her mother goodbye and that day her mother was hanged in a public square. This was only thirty years ago and this woman, her daughter, has never recovered. It does speak to the issues we face in adoption....it speaks to the tremendous loss of a parent and I can't wait to speak to her next month and tell her mother's story. I feel honored to be chosen to do so. My films are also moving along....and I am so grateful I am a writer :-) All looks good YEAH! Sadly my own little daughter will have to be left home as we are not able to finalize her adoption before my trip. It will be heartbreaking and gut wrenching to be away from her, truthfully I don't know how I will do it, but the woman I am writing about, and for, left her daughter and was never able to return to her....I will consider myself fortunate for being able to hold my angel in my arms seven days after leaving, and grateful for the understanding of the pain of separation that was permenant for Milada and...for every birth mother who relenqusihed their child...and every adoptive parent who was not able to parent their foster or adoptive child. Parenting does have it's sorrow. For my sister's wedding in Hawaii...we will have The Big Easter Egg hunt. Of the friends and family who have become parents....we will be having a huge Easter Egg Hunt at my sister's "day after wedding, brunch" When I looked at the kids...I just teared up with joy at how proud I am of our friends. Here are the kids and parents in the Easter Egg Hunt, the day after my sister's wedding. My cousin Kris and her husband Hunter and their girls...Skylar and Devon. Devon was born on the livingroom floor of their home after two contractions, weighing 9.5 pounds, born to a 5 foot 100 lbs woman who was later diagnosed with breast cancer and is (thank God) now cancer free....RIGHT ON KRISSY! Skylar is 6 and Devon is 3.5 Kellie and Mike Rosen....after two miscarriages (one in the sixth month of pregnancy) gave birth to Rachel Rosen in October of 2006. Randy and Elliot Flies after coming out to their families ten years ago, adopted a son Isaac from Vietnam, he is now 8...they later married (in a spiritual ceramony still not recognized by the state of Minnesota) and bought a house, claiming they were living thier lives in reverse, Baby, Marriage, House, adopted Jason from Cambodia who is now six. Carolyn and Chris Mukai....have three sons, the last....little Collin was born in October 2006, but the first Justin, had seizure disorder and was put on Phenol Barbital which caused speech delays and physical delays and is still in special education. And finally....... me mother to Aria Hope, who is 14 months old, biracial drug exposed, DIVA, singer extrodinaire, falsly (or not) diganosed with CP and Epilepsy.....come on Aloha Easter Bunny we are READY for you! And on a final note....my mother, who we all know I have had a challenge living with.....was found on the freeway going to Orange County (to a dr.'s appointment) on an onramp (facing the wrong direction) down the embankment, with her car TOTALLED. (Brand new Toyota Highlander SUV Hibryd) not knowing where she was and how she got there. THANK GOD SHE IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But it brought home for me the fact that she really, really needs help and that's why Ari and I are here....as hard as it has been, I finally get that. And I love her I really do....and so does my little angel. Ok...final note on little angel....she now rules the world and has both me and my mom wrapped around her finger...I am trying to pull in the reins a bit so as not to spoil the babe....but boy is it hard. And lastly...I boast that LA is so diverse...but really we are not. I wanted to find a little Madame Alexander doll for Ari for Easter...each of my cousins and my sister (all of which will be at the wedding in Hawaii) got their first Huggums at their first Easter....(well this is Ari's second...but ok...she was a little cute blob on her first) And I wanted to follow tradition for my own child. I went from Beverly Hills to The deep dark Valley and NEVER found a brown skinned Madame Alexander Baby doll...finally I started calling...I got answers like. "we don't carry brown skinned dolls"....like I was asking for a leper doll. To "we used to carry them, but we don't anymore.", "nope, all white" "No, we don't have brown skinned dolls." To the place I finally went to get her doll (by the way she has four gorgeous dolls, all beautiful, all brown skinned (two are from Pottery Barn kids) the other two were very expensive, but worth every dollar) They said "we do have brown skinned dolls, but they're BLACK!" "Are they Madame Alexander?" I asked? "Yes, but they're BLACK!" "Great, I'm coming right over." Clerk adds...."you sure you want a BLACK doll?" and I add..."YESSSS!" Boy oh boy...if I weren't a successful filmaker I would open a toy store of JUST ethnic dolls....damn I finally got a taste of everyday average racism....and it is in the simple fact that no doll/toy story in Los Angeles carries brown skinned dolls that don't look like a charred version of the Bride of Chucky!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrr.