adoptive family photos arrived today

I had an agonising morning where I went out and came back fully expecting the photos to have arrived and at 11.30am they hadn't, which was sickening. So I went out again, came back and still nothing. The postman was exceptionally late and turned up at 1pm ... with the package I'd been expecting...... wahoooo - opening the package with heart lurching... oh for goodness sake! There were 19 photos altogether and it was a strange feeling looking at them I can tell you. It was like meeting his family in person, but not quite and yet at last, here I could at last put a face to the names and look for clues as to what I couldn't find through an email or phone conversation with my son. The thing that struck me is that my son is now happy to show me the happier side of the adoption. Now that I've acknowledged his pain and taken the full force of his unhappiness and his anger about everything, he now tells me that he needed to know that I understood his pain and what he'd been through, followed by telling me that he's had a great life. Which yeh, I knew, but its amazing the foresight one can get from the books I mention time and time again on the forums. Its the separation anxiety manifesting itself that has to be acknowledged before he can move on. To go into more detail would take more time than I have at the minute and burn my fingers with the typing involved!!! With the knowledge I've gleaned from Nancy Verrier The Primal Wound and a snippet someone sent me of her follow on book Coming Home To Self (must get that book, where can I find 20?) and The Adoption Reunion Guide by Julie Jarrell Bailey/Lynn Giddens I know where he's been coming from and I know where he's at, where we both are at, and its a happy place to be. (Thank goodness). I can see its been important to weather through the awful but awful emotions that have surfaced for him and myself whilst we journey towards a healing but also to allow him to criticise his aparents, say yeh, tough, but at the same time acknowledge that I know they love him - very much so. That is quite a tap dance to achieve and I'm proud of that. I'm proud of him too. Why, there you go, proud all round! Its almost like the yacht in the storm with the hatch down and all the head bashing and rolling this way and that - it's coming to some kind of calm and the sun rays are filtering through.... its made it all worthwhile.... Also Got 3 emails from him with a link that took you to a mwahhhh KISS so that's a big step for him, as he found it hard to accept my kisses and hugs, even over the phone. Even though he knows its in him (as he's m'lad) and he's been raised without them, he wants them but has found it so hard to get used to. So, another step forward. Small things in themselves to outsiders, but huge in reunion steps. Back to the photos - wow there is a few of him and he looks so handsome and so aristocratic - dicky bow and black suit and white shirt, there's the one I've always hoped for - him with his mom and dad and they are all laughing together (he says he's just pinched his dads btm) - that was a long time coming. Both he and his brother look extremely handsome lads and there's an elegance about his amom that is very becoming. His dad looks kind. They both look like wonderful people and I'm glad I've held out to see this, as he painted such a picture of them for the last year as to make me believe they were all sorts of things. Now the true picture is emerging, but as already said, he needed to express his pain and get it out. I now reflect that we are much more ahead than I had come to realise and that better things are starting to arrive now. The photos have brought a warmth to my heart, and I feel as if I'm bonding with his family through those photos. These are his parents and they seem very nice, very stable and there's more photos of him smiling, whereas the ones I had last year were predominantly of him looking unhappy. Yes, this is a happy moment and I'm hoping we can share ourselves amongst this lad whom I gave birth to 29 years ago and be a happy triad. Here's to better things. I'm pretty sure things can only get better now.