Solcita Snow

Unfortunately, too many potential adoptive parents claim they will keep the family involved and then don’t follow through with those promises once the child is legally theirs. So, for this reason, I don’t think any family would be willing to step aside and allow fp’s to adopt knowing that they could cut them out at any moment in the future. It would be better for the bio family to fight and then keep the fp involved as supportive family friends.

If they are just now asking them about relative options, it’s possible they didn’t before and didn’t do their due diligence in finding family placements. The family may not be aware. There may be distant relatives that are appropriate and can care for the child who were not made aware and that is the agency’s fault. If there is an appropriate relative placement that can care for and keep the child safe, the child should be placed with them. Reunification and then relative placement are always the main goals.

Foster parents can represent trauma and they may just want the kids to move on and move forward with their lives, putting foster care behind them and that unfortunately, includes foster parents. They have their own ideas on how to protect the children and we have to look at it from their perspective. We don’t have to like it, but do have to accept and respect it.

If it had to do with money then they would be pushing for foster parents to adopt as they usually do within corrupt agencies because they have an incentive to adopt to non-family members since they receive more money that way. They get nothing for reunifying which is why you see so many railroaded and corrupt cases where they set the parents up to fail, prolong the case intentionally so they can TPR, don’t do their due diligence to look for relative placements, etc.

Why would you want to adopt when this child clearly has family that WANTS and is CAPABLE of caring for her? That seems really selfish to me. You become a foster parent to help a child in need, TEMPORARILY until they can be reunified with their parents or placed with a relative. You did your job, now let her go. It’s not about you, it’s about her.The ICPC process takes a while, so clearly the bio grand parents have been working with the agency for some time in order to get this baby girl out of foster care. She doesn’t have just one set of blood relatives willing and able to care for her, she has TWO. That is an ideal situation and a win! You should be celebrating and happy.I’m not saying you can’t be sad, too and, of course, grieve the sense of loss, but unless you were never supportive of RU and became a foster parenting simply to adopt (something I seriously frown upon), then you should have known this was a possibility and the best outcome for that baby girl. I’m happy for her 😃

no, what would be sad is making parents work a case plan that takes two years and then using the time they’re in care as an excuse or factor in not reunifying them with their children. The goal is reunification whenever possible. If the parents do the work, then they should reunify. The child bonding with the foster parents is never enough reason for a TPR and you shouldn’t want that either unless you’re selfish. Foster kids that spend a year or more with foster parents are obviously going to have some kind of bond with the foster parents and an attachment, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be reunified. Many kids have strong bonds with their bio parents and are placed with foster parents upon removal and expected to cope and be resilient even with being taken from the only family they’ve known. It’s necessary. Well, the same is true in reverse.

Well, the social worker is also passing judgement and her concern is baseless because anybody can flee to another country-undocumented or not. You keep repeating that just because someone is blood related doesn’t mean the child is better off with them. If they can pass a background check and can care for the children and keep them safe, THAT IS ALL THAT MYTERS. Everything else is just you sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong and overstepping. Maybe do some research. Illegal immigrants have rights, too. They can absolutely be considered as relative placements and if they have children, the have a right to custody and/or visitation just as much as parent who is a citizen.

You have no idea when they even found out or were notified that the children were in state custody. 2 months is still VERY early into the case. Nobody is assuming that they are decent, but we shouldn’t assume that they aren’t either which is what you’re doing without any information. You’re judging these people and coming up with all of these concerns based on their citizenship status. Smh.

For some people blood is thicker than water. I’m sorry you have experienced this, but everyone is different. It would’ve been nice if she had simply chosen to include them in her life and also include you, not walking away from you completely. I personally, feel very strong connection to my blood family, and feel in need to always have them in my life.But again, everyone is different. You know you loved her and did everything right by her so just be at peace with no one you did all you could. Hopefully she’ll come around.