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Originally Posted By Stephanie
During my marriage to my ex husband I adopted his daughter from a previous relationship. At the time the birth mother, the father and I all agreed this was the best thing to do even though the child had contact with the birth mother. We thought we were doing the right thing. There are many reasons we did this, on hindsight it was not the best thing to do. Months later when a divorce became inevitable between myself and the birth father and it became apparent that the birth father wasn't going to raise her (and this child needs a stay at home mother which I could no longer be) we all decided this child (who had many problems) would be best off being raised by one of her bio parents who ended up being the birth mother. She has had legal guardianship since Dec of 1999. Everything has been going great but all of us feel this child would best be served if she had her birth mother legally on her birth cerfificate again.
I have done research and have noted there seems to be no legal precident or situation where an adoption is reversed. However, if all the parents agree to this why couldn't it be done? This would be done in the state of Montana because that is where the adoption was done to start with even though we all live in other states now due to the military. The birth mom, the birth father and step father all are residents of Montana even though we all live in different states now. The birth mom is in Washington State, Father in Texas and I am in Alabama. Is there any way to fix this problem at all so we can all make this right for this child? We really would like to do this without her ever realizing her mother gave her up. She's now 10 and has no clue or rememberance of any of it. We would like to do what is in her best interest and it seems so unfair that we cannot.
Thank you
Stephanie (who really does not live a jerry springer life)
Originally Posted By Greg Franklin
Thanks for your inquiry. Your situation is not as unusual as you may think. I'm not aware of any state's laws which would allow an adoption to be reversed. This is usually handled through a new adoption where you, as the adoptive parents, make a private placement adoption with a new adoptive parent (who just happens to be the original birth mother).
A court will have to agree that this adoption plan is in the child's best interests. I would strongly encourage all concerned (especially the child) to get good counseling (and not necessarily on a short-term basis).
Adoption laws vary from state to state, however, and I cannot advise you on whether your plan will work. I recommend that you speak with an attorney in your state who is familiar with adoption-related issues. You might be able to find an experienced attorney, who is a member of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, at [url="http://www.adoptionattorneys.org"]http://www.adoptionattorneys.org[/url], or I would be happy to give you a couple of recommendations.
GOod luck to all of you.
Please let me know if you have any questions and if I may be of any assistance.
Greg Franklin
Please note that this and subsequent communication does not establish an attorney-client relationship between the parties to this message. Any comments or recommendations made in this communication are of a general nature, are based upon the limited information provided to the addressee, and are not to be construed as legal advice.
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Originally Posted By Stephanie
Thank you very much for your response. From everything I've looked into I believe you're correct. We have a lawyer in Montana who handled the adoption so maybe we should contact him but I don't think we're going to get to do anything because to be honest I doubt any judge would allow the birth mom to adopt a child in the manner you stated in a private adoption because due to her past (which is cleared up now) she can't even get a license to babysit in the state. I agree with you on the counseling. All parties except the father have been in counseling since 1993. Thank you very much.
Stephanie
Originally Posted By Linda
My two oldest children were adopted by my parents due to family issues that it is not necessary to go into at this time. This adoption was forced on me against my wishes or those of the younger of the two children. I don't know how the oldest one feels as we don't discuss that. I was never given any kind of notice or anything. In fact, my mother lied about knowing my whereabouts until it became apparent that she would need my signature to adopt the boys. Then she contacted me, telling me that this was what they wanted. I finally agreed, after speaking to the boys and their father. I now have 5 younger children at home and my son has moved in with my husband and myself. He wants to reverse the adoption, saying his grandmother forced it on him. I have heard of her abuse of my son from my mother, herself. My son is 23 and not controlled by my mother any longer. My father is deceased. My son wants this reversal because he does not want to be known as her son in any way. How can we fix this?
I really wish there was a law to reverse an adoption. I too was made to let my parents adopt my son. I do live with them but it is so hard. They have him to call them mom and dad. When we went in from of lawyer, I was to be mom. They lied and it is killing me. If you can find out anything else, please let me know.