Did St Andre's help ?

I was at St. Andre's Home in 1971. Nov to Feb 1972. any one else? I found my son, but THEY did not help me. I would like to hear from others that can talk about it. I had a friend named Sally , that I would like to contact. We were good friends at the time and I have thought of her many times. I would like to hear from her. I had no options at the time I relinquished my son, and was not permitted to see him, I had just turned 15 one month before he was born, it was a very traumatic time to be so alone. I went back to St. Andre's 21 years later, .....I sat in the car for 2 hours just looking at the institution before I could get the nerve up to go in the door to ask if they could help me. I had the fear that my legs would not hold me while walking to the side door, (us girls were not permitted to use the front door) I was not aware that it is now a home for the elderly and thought it still had young girls in there. They directed me to where the records were kept, at another site. It was EXTREMELY emotional being there, I honestly dont know how I went there alone. I was directed to a different place as they no longer kept the records there, it was a home for the elderly. I went there immediately , it was on Elm Street, a woman quickly met me at the door and ushered me into a room in the back of the place, then a nun came to ask what I needed. I became emotional as soon as I told her why I was there. She was sweet, (as they usually are). She took my address and promised to get back to me as soon as she could locate my records. They were trying to get this emotional woman out of the office quickly, as there was an adoption going on on the 2nd floor. Of course they wouldn't want an adoptive couple seeing what WILL happen in the years to come, when their birthmother comes to find her baby. They did find my record.... THERE WAS NOTHING TO TELL...( in their notes it said valerie was a sweet shy girl that came to us, she became as one with the other girls in time) .as for her baby ... a social worker came to pick up the baby and we have no further information. So needless to say I was at a loss. I was there 4 months. and 2 of those months were in isolation due to hypertension. Yea it sure was a time. They were nice to me but I had NO counseling on what I was doing and was forbidden by my family to ask any questions. Just deal with it. It is sad to think what they really thought of us, and the lack of knowledge they had to help us get through it. I have since found my son and he is a wonderful handsom young man, I have only met once since 4-24-1994. But I know he is alive and happy. and thats what was important to me. Anyone with a St. Andre's experience, please write. Sally if you are out there and see this, I never forgot you. God be with all of you searching as it is a journey, don't give up, the freedom is in it.

Thank You for the information- It seems that us as bmothers are not going to get much help from St Andres. I did have positive feedback from an adoptee who said that they would help for a small fee ???? I thought I gave updates so they could give my info out not sell it. I did hear from this girl that she was placed with a very loving family that told her that she was a gift because her bmother could not give her everything she needed but that her bmother did love her. This makes me feel better but I still wonder why they seem so cold to us as bmothers ?????

I did get some help from St. Andre's but it was very minimal. I got my non-identifying information but that is it. I do know I was born in Webber Hospital on 3/20/71. I have not been able to get anything more than that.

I was born 3-28-68 in Biddeford, Maine. I am female and my adoption was handled through St. Andre's Home. They sold me a written verbal id for $75. It contained information that did not match a non-id verbally given to my adopters. I paid $250 to do a "search" which consisted largely of them "calling and calling" a thirty-four year old phone number and nothing else. I guess this is why St. Andre's has the word "Inc" after its name. My adoption was handled by a Sister "Elizabeth" who did not disclose to my adopters that diabetes runs in my natural family. They told my adopters that I was being put up for adoption because my natural father refused to marry my mother and flew off back to India. When I asked them thirty-four years later for the reason for relinquishment they said " that information was not available in our files". Something seems very fishy and underhanded about this agency. If you want to chat about them or anything else conerning adoption please e-mail me at dprince2@austin.rr.com

I knew from the start of my stay at St. Andre's that if I surrendered my child, no information would be made available to me. This was also told to me again by the judge who signed the papers for me to surrender the child. Maine had closed adoption records at that time and everything was made perfectly clear to me. I did speak to Sister Elizabeth a few years later and she pulled records and told me what she had told me in a letter written after I gave the baby up. The baby had gone to a home where the mom was an artist and the dad was in the sports field. The baby had been kept in the hospital due to a hole in his heart, but had recovered and the adoption was finalized. Through open records in Maine (a State of Maine form where consenting birthparents and children can agree to allow contact after the age of 18) and searching on adoption boards on the internet, I found he was looking for me. I visited with him twice, met his wonderful parents and everything was just as the Sisters at St. Andre's had told me. No lies, deception,,,,,,,just the acceptance of the finality of adoption pointed out again and again. I would not consent to see him unless his parents were informed, and they supported him totally. His parents had been given all of the medical history I could supply and there was only honesty on the part of St. Andre's and the lawyers concerned. I have found deception on the part of the State of Maine, but not with St. Andre's. My baby was given to the Sisters for adoption, but many of the girls who were there allowed the State to step in and place the adoption. I think that this is where St. Andre's is getting a bad rap. To those who are searching, try to remember if the Sister's handled the adoption or another agency, even though you were there. I have never had any regrets and the look of joy in his face and in the face of his parents only reinforced to me that I had made the unselfish decision of thinking only of the child. Good luck in your searches.

I have just begun my own search for information regarding my birth parents. I was adopted from St. Andre's in 1952 or 1953. I'm just not sure of the exact date as my adopted parents provided almost no information. I know I was born in 1950 and spent one or two years there before being adopted. I will be contacting them soon in hopes of finding the information I need, as my request is more of a "medical information" need. Any other persons who have had contact with St Andre's and can provide some guidance I would gladly appreciate it.

My story sounds much like yours. I gave birth to my son in August 1969 at St Andre's but went to Webber Hospital. Such a secret back then its hard to explain to people today. We couldn't use our real first names (in case years later you might run into another girl who committed a sin) god forbid. St Andre's wasn't much help to me either. I had to keep after them all the time. I finally told them I was going to petion the courts etc, finally after nearly a year of constanly bugging them (I dealt) with Jack Feeney (this was 12 years ago) finally I got info and they contacted his aparents (he was 21). I also went back to ""The Home" and sat in my car and cried and cried, it is like you said an elderly home now. I went inside, but nothing looked very familiar to me, I am sure I tried to block most of it out. I was 17 at the time. I would also love to get in touch with a girl named Judy, we both had our sons on August 27th 1969. WE ended up telling each other our correct names I believe (its been a while) My real name is Cathy but I went by the name of Aline. This feels like the twilight zone doesn't it??? Love to talk to anyone that had the priviledge of staying at St Andres...........HA Cathy

I actually was adopted from st andres in Nov 1971....I never really thought of actively looking, until I realized I may need my medical history someday. When I was 20, I called st andre's and s/w a very nice nun, who said she could send me non-indentifying info for $75.At the time I did not have that $ so she sent it to me for free. I read through the letter and cried just knowing what time I was born and how much I weighed..(isn't that silly). ANyway, my mother was 28 when she had me and was single. SHe had brown hair, blue eyes, a nd was 125 pounds. SHe worked in the mills and had taken some college courses. I actually am part of Access 2006,( a commitee to help us Maine adoptees get our original birth cert). I would love to meet her and thank her. If any of you birth mothers out there maybe knew her from St andre's I would love some info. I was born 9/26/71, and adopted on nov 19, 1971.....I also have a birthmark on my chin.. peace out,sandi

So interested to learn that Webber's records are at the Biddeford Library - may take a trip to see what else is there...Any birthmoms out there who may remember another birthmom who gave birth on June 1, 1969 - she was about 23 or 24, an English Lit teacher with brown to auburn hair, about 5' tall...My birthfather was a guidance counselor, was an actor and played the cello and was also about 23 or 24 years old...I was placed for adoption through Catholic Charities via St Andre's - my family was from NH. I contacted St Andre's a few years back for information and was given the $250 to search song and dance routine and thought that they would probably attempt to make contact with an old phone number and refuse to hand over any real identifying information...Any info, any memories no matter how foggy please send it along to me at my home e-mail:christine.albert@maine.edu oh yeah! my adoptive parents were told that I was given a "family name" at birth and the Sisters refused to pass it along b/c it could identify my birthmother...I believe this is true only b/c my brother's (adopted a year later) name was given to my aparents.

: 'l'll never stop this heart-ache. I was living at a Pregnancy home called 'St.Andre's home, in Biddeford,Maine, which was my home town and I had to hide away from all, wheather if it was the oil man delivering oil, or the maintenance worker there, or who ever, ugh... memories!!Friends thought I went away to my aunt in PA. My daughter April was born April 28,1969, and I never wanted to put her up for adoption, but NOBODY would help me, and I was 18 years old and realized that I cold not give the baby what SHE needed. To this day , I never went to court for any adoption as I am told that it was not legal. But it doesn't seem to matter to anyone, but me. Finding April would be beautiful cause I have signed with 'Vital Statisic' in the State of Maine, told that a child would first go to the state they were born in, and I call often and ask if April has looked for me yet..but not yet, IF she is alive. I hope and pray that I meet my daughter, and I look forward to hearing others in the same spot as I. NOLA

No they were no help at all. :(