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My husband I want to adopt a toddler internationally? We have researched all the bad. Now, I really would like to hear some good news! We have read "Toddler Adoption" and other literature. Actually, I am the mother of a 1 year old and a 4 year old and none of the stories sound like home breakers. Most issues seem workable. However, there are some really scary stories on this web site. I searched the word "violent" yesturday and I was really enlightened on how horrible adopting an older child can be. My biggest concern is the safety of my own children. I tried to pull up statistics on violence in the home after adoption, and I found nothing. I can deal with clingy kids and little sleep. Hey, that is my current life! I love it. I still do not feel I have a truly realistic vision of what adopting a two or three year old. How many are truly violent? Wait that is another question. I said I wanted to hear success stories!
Gavind: we went into the adoption procss specifically looking for a toddler. Our son was 31 months when we brought him home and has been with our familiy since January of this year.
We may be a little too early in the "settling-in" process to call ourselves a "success story", but golly...it's as if he's always been part of our family!
The biggest "issues" we have had are things that my DH and I see as typical "toddler" issues--not wanting to go to bed, brush teeth, eat what we have for supper, etc. And he acts out his frustration in ways that many pre-verbal children do; he will hit, walk away, stamp his feet, etc. We have always felt (and are beginning to see) that he will learn how to handle his emotions better as his language skills improve. (he is on his third language in nine months, which has got to be frustrating in itself!)
That being said, we are told that he is one of the "nicest", "best-behaved" and "sweetest" kids in his daycare classroom. He shares willingly with friends and family alike. He hugs and kisses and is learning to apologize. He loves "puppies" and "babies" and is always gentle with them. It is the highlight of my day to see him running towards me with a smile on his face when I pick him up at daycare.
He and his older brother share a bedroom; last night they amused themselves (before they both conked out) by giving each other the biggest, juiciest "raspberries" they possibly could and cracking each other up.
My husband and I are consistently amazed at how, despite the various places he's lived and rules he's had to learn, our son has maintained a sunny disposition and loving nature.
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Thank you Crathke for your reply. My mind and heart are racing as I process all of my research and we start our adoption journey.
Gavin