Advertisements
There is only one other thread in this category and I read it with interest. Everyone seems very caught up in making sure we don't compare adoption vs. abortion. Why? I believe its because those who want abortion to remain legal don't like the comparison. Its not simplifying to say that adoption is a better option. Its much more simplifying to say, "adoption is an alt. to parenting abortion is alt. to pregnancy"
Abortion is an end to pregnancy. It is a human life. Adoption is painful for many but its only one of two choices for anyone who truly believes what they carry inside them is a human life.
I guess I was blessed to have been given the opportunity to see aborted babies, to know the truth early. I simply cannot believe that those on the board who are so pro abortion have seen pictures of aborted babies cut up into pieces or read in detail when baby's heart beat begins or that they dream etc.
So to say the little slogan of abort. alt to preg. adopt. alt to parenting is insulting to me and to all the aborted babies of this world.
My father was adopted so I do have some experience of what an adoptee must go thru, and I gave a child up so I do understand that.
The agruments I have heard for abortion usually go something like this:
1)_ if we make abortion illegal women will die.
(read the facts on this women die from legal abortions too, and the large numbers of women who died from illegal ones were before antibiotics, go to abortion facts.com)
2) its a woman's choice, its her body.
(who speaks for the baby's rights, their body? )
3) its too emotionally difficult for some to give up their baby
(keep the baby then)
4) its to hard to raise the baby
(then opt for adoption at least you gave your baby life)
4) its not a baby until it breathes.
(babies breath fluid until they are born, and their heart beats, who are we to set an arbitrary concept of when life begins? Lets give the baby the benefit of the doubt)
5) you can put an abortion past you, adoption you can't
(if you love your child so much isn't it better to give them life, yes its tough, but its a life, enough said)
5) who are we to legislate what a woman does with her body
(why do we have laws against murder and child abouse?)
I could go on, but I can honestly say I have not heard one logical argument for abortion and yes there is a relationship between abortion and adoption. One is a loving difficult choice to give life, the other is a way out.
I know no one wants to have an abortion, I know its painful and scary and done with thought. But its a lie to say its okay. Everyone likes to slam the adoption agencies for making money, but what about the doctor who can make $100,000/yr doing abortions 1 or 2 days a week?
Please think about it babies are humans.
We need more support for crisis pregnancies, better adoption laws, more support for birth mothers and new attitudes towards sex. But we don't need to kill more children.
Sorry to offend but someone has to speak up for the babies!
Like
Share
Advertisements
You need to stop calling pregnant women birth mothers for a start. Adoption and abortion are two seperate issues. If you are really concerned channel your energy into changing the laws that make it hard for women to raise children.
You can target the men for a start and get them ready to financially support their children. Then you can make changes in education about contraception. And you can stop linking adoption and abortion together, they are totally seperate issues.
Vicar,
Thank you for posting this thread. This is such an important topic...
I have friends (many) that have had abortions and ALL of them have regreted it.
I am 100% pro life. I cannot have children and I KNOW that there is someone out there who will take any one of these children that are being murdered rather then given a chance at a life, even a short one...
GOD creates these babies for a reason. Having a baby is a gift and I have no sympathy for anyone who wants to throw that gift away. A friend of mine got pregnant, had an abortion because she thought she was too young and now has been diagnosed with cervical cancer. They told her that she will live, but will not ever be able to have a baby. I guess that was her "CHOICE".
GOD gave me the gift of not being able to have a child. Some may say "what kind of gift is that". It is the gift of taking these little babies that WERE given a chance at life and raising them and loving them as my own child.
AnGeL_UK
Well here in england its illegal after about 12 weeks!
It seems to me that when debating adoption v abortion the premise of the debate - that there is an adoption v abortion decision to be made - is flawed. The premise is flawed because a woman first has the option to abort rather than continue a pregnancy. Then later when her child is born she has the option to legally surrender parental rights or to keep her child.
[Edited To Remove the URL to an Anti-AdoptionӔ website.]
Advertisements
radiodoll
Abortion kills. Illegal abortion kills MORE. Stop the abuse and death of women in society.
And in Ireland, there is no solicitation ("Dear ---mother" letters, advertising and so on) by agencies, lawyers and individuals to get babies.
97% of single moms today in US keep their children. The kids have their own mother, grandparents, siblings and usually their own father to love them. Many families benefit from the opportunity to work together and grow as a family, rather than having the tragic loss of a child. The moms who keep their children generally do complete their education anyway and (if they smoke) are more likely to stop smoking or marijuana use than if they had gotten abortions or their child was adopted-out. (I'd add a link to the recent study that showed this, but my links seem to get removed.)
Being pro-life AND pro-family as I am is very unpopular. But "pro-life" does not have to mean promoting the separation of family members. There are many more ways to prevent abortion than just pushing women towards surrendering their child for adoption. In fact, many women who feel they will not have moral support as mothers opt for abortions when they would really have preferred to give birth and keep their child.
Promoting male (as well as female) responsibility for pregnancy prevention and responsibility for children would help.
When pregnancy prevention fails, keeping children in their own family is a good option. Mothers who are single today will probably marry within a few years. Meanwhile the people adopting may divorce.
How many moms who keep their child vs those whose child was adopted-out seriously regret it 10, 20 or more years later?
Laurie
I totally agree with you.
Push hard for adoption reform to make it more birthparent-friendly. Push for adoption awareness so we can break through the stereotypes and closed-adoption systems that are in place now. Push for a culture that Supports Life in every stage, including a pre-natal one.
Go hug a birthmother.
Go encourage a pregnant woman or girl.
Go kiss a newborn baby.
Go write a letter to your congressman.
Just a question..you posted this.... 3) its too emotionally difficult for some to give up their baby (keep the baby then)i find this statment very odd. i myself have placed a child for adoption just over a year ago..i felt alright about my decision at the time..but now, i feel depressed..and i regret it with all my heart. I didnt think that this all would be so "emotionally difficult"..till now. And who does....some after years, still trust in the choice they made, some dont (like me). And some that place did it maybe because it wasnt the right time in there lives, no support, or just confusion. I was just really blown away by this comment. It just kindof seem likes you are complaining that Birthmothers do go through hard emotional time afterward.......please clear this up with me Thank you
Advertisements
I would venture to say that most (if not all) birthmothers will eventually go through some form of grieving or loss when they place a child into an adoptive home.
I never did like that arguement- that placing a child would be "too hard." Well, of course it's hard. I would think abortion would be harder on a mother than placing a child. Now, I've never had an abortion, but my perspective (knowing my daughter today) is that I gave my daughter life. No, I was not able to give her everything she needed to have the kind of life I wanted for her, but I did give her life. Today I know her favorite people, how many waffle fries the girl will eat if you let her, how much she loves her family and how incredibly smart she is (she's a genius for sure)...all because I chose to give her life. If I had chosen an abortion I would never know what her beautiful face looks like. I could never play with her striking curls or listen to her sing to me. I would never hear her say "I love you" or get kisses and hugs. I would never know what she will name my grandchildren, what kind of person she will grow up to be or who she will choose to marry.
THAT, my friends, seems the much harder and more permanent road to take. For a lot of my friends that have had abortions for whatever reason it seemed the easier one (or that there was no other way out). Once you have an abortion you can't ever go back...but with an adoption you can have an oppertunity to know your child and tailor that experience to meet the needs of everyone involved. Go hug a birthmother today. Go hug a woman who has survived an abortion. Go encourage someone who might think there's no other way out.
Instead of looking at a crisis teenage pregnancy from an abusive relationship....
I'm looking at a beautiful 2 year old girl that can't wait for me to visit.
I like this thread. I, too, wonder who makes the decisions for these babies. I'm not sure abortion should be outlawed completely, I know it is not right for me. But, I can not say if I were in a different stage in my life or in a different situation that I would feel the same way. I think I would, but I can't say. I don't like abortion. I have seen the photos. I have supported friends, putting my own opinion aside, and being their friend, through this kind of tragedy. I have also seen some friends become haunted post abortion, much like I venture some birthmothers may after placing. So I do not think that people who have abortions just forget about it. I do think that abortion is much too easy of an out for people. And that sufficient counseling is not given to make this kind of decision. I understand that difficulty in being able to give counseling sufficiently when your dealing with such a small window of opportunity, many women find out they're pregnant close to the cusp of the cutoff for an abortion, so they tend to not have the time to have sufficient counseling. I would like to see stricter laws on abortion. Maybe only having it available for rape victims, or other such tragic conceptions. I also would think that some women really shouldn't get pregnant because of very serious health risks, but sometimes it happens, and yes, some women do still die in childbirth. Not like the old days, but it happens. And it's usually women who have conditions already identified but decide to pursue a pregnancy because they are prolife. Or for whatever reason. But these women, should absolutely have the right to get an abortion. I do agree though, when people say you can not compare abortion to adoption. No, it is not the same at all. However, what is the same, is that they are options for expectant moms, just as parenting is. So I think that's the only time they can be paired together is in considering options. Let's face it, whether we like it or not, it is an option. And it will continue to happen even if it is made illegal. So, I guess, if it's going to happen, I'd rather see it done in a professional's office, and not in the abortion black market. I do think too many women use it as birth control. There are plenty of women who have more than one abortion. That in my opinion is completely irresponsible. To use it as a method of birth control. Just my thoughts. I liked this thread, gets ya thinking.
Its interesting to me that so many people want to
tell someone else what is best for them. If you feel
strongly about the issue than do that for yourself but dont expect it to work out that way for everyone.
I have been on all sides of the issue now.
*I gave a baby up for adoption at 15.
*Had an abortion at 17
*Have 3 children now.
*Helped raise many messed up foster kids from parents that should have done things different.
*May possibly be able to adopt from DHS
Me, personally have had a harder time in my life with the baby I gave up for adoption than the abortion. Even though I feel it was the right thing to do.
My natural mother had 5 abortions after placing me for adoption, and she had a MUCH harder time dealing with my loss than the abortions.
I know way too many mothers who wish they'd had abortions rather than losing their child to adoption. I also, sadly, know several adoptees who wish they'd been aborted rather than adopted.
Me? I'm just fine with being adopted. I really lucked out and found a great home.
Last year, I had to decide whether to have an abortion or have my baby. It was a very difficult decision, but today, I have a 5 month old little boy who is the light of my life. Now that I know him, I can't imagine life without him, if I'd had an abortion OR if I'd placed him for adoption.
Advertisements
I can only say that due to my experiences, I would never even consider placing a child for adoption again. It is too painful, no matter how you look at it.
I believe that abortion is a personal matter, and I believe that if the morning after pill was not so controversial, it would save a lot of heartache.
If I were raped, I would not think twice. I would terminate the pregnancy. No question about it. You ask why? Well, I will be completely honest about it. It hurts really bad to give a baby up, even though you are giving it to a good home. Those who say it doesn't are PROBABLY in some serious denial.
Given the choice again, I would parent the child myself. But, I believe in rape cases, that if the girl wants to have an abortion, then it is her decision. Who would feel comfortable knowing that the child growing inside of you is a product of hate. Could you imagine looking up your natural mother and finding out that you are a product of rape? How would you feel then?
I'm not trying to convince anyone. I just am looking at it with a different point of view. Someone posted not long ago that this argument will go on forever, and they are right.
:(
When I see my little girl, who was not concieved in love but in an abusive situation, I don't see a 'product of hate.' I see a beautiful girl that could have been a victim herself had I chosen differently. She doesn't look at me as a "rape victim" for I have not turned myself into a victim. Instead, she only sees me: her birthmother who loves her.
If I had chosen to abort my little girl today I would not see her beautiful eyes that look just like mine. I would not get to talk to her, know her favorite food or get a bedtime kiss. I would not get to see her go to school for the first time, graduate, walk down the isle with the man of her dreams or give birth to her first baby. Who knows what kind of life she would lead? She may be the one that finds the cure for cancer, she may be a stellar mother...and I know that she is my Angel, who I wouldn't trade for the world.
Yes, placing her into an adoptive home was hard- but I do still get to take part in her life. Yes, it is paralyzing sometimes realizing what I have lost when I placed her, but actively working through that grief has led me to something else. Amongst the pain that will always be there to remind me I found joy...and peace. Sometimes it's only fleeting, but when I see my girl smile and thrive I cannot help but smile myself. Every once in awhile my heart will realize that I did make the right decision for her when I chose to place her...and I find peace for a moment.
If I had not allowed her to live, things would be very different and I'm not sure I could ever find a peace or joy within the grief of an abortion.