Hello, I am new here...

Hi Lisa: Welcome to adoptionforums.com. Nice to have you along with our many other special people. I am the Community Director for adoptionforums.com. Please read and take in what you are interested in learning about. Please proceed with carefulness as you post information and receive replies from others. These forums are to learn from and to share to help others learn. When you are comfortable you may ask any of our experts questions. The forums are designed to allow others to reply to you as well. Be careful in communicating with others regarding your unborn child. There is much to learn about the various particulars about adoption and your choice to raise your child. Please always keep in mind that your choice is YOUR choice. If anyone starts to try to sway your choice be careful. If you are considering adoption (which I am not under the impression that you may know just yet) it is a good idea to obtain a licensed adoption professional to represent you. The expenses for your representation are in most cases (should be all) at no charge to you. Always be honest and state (in writing if necessary) that you have not made a decision to relinquish your child but that you are gathering information. There are some helpful links for you on our web site [url]http://www.birthmother.com[/url] Please feel welcome and know that we are here to support you in prayer and information. You may go back and forth about what you may be considering for your future and your unborn child's future which is normal. Whether you decide to parent or relinquish we are here to support you. My very best to you and your family as you move forward. Warm regards, Sabra Cossentine Community Director [url]http://www.adoptionforums.com[/url] [url]http://www.adoptionlists.com[/url] [url]http://www.adoption.com[/url] [url]http://www.adopting.org[/url]

Hi there, this is Kelly Alisha's mom. I was reading your post and I just have to reply. You know, I was a single mom of two girls, I am now a 38 year old grandma. Having my children one at 18yrs old and one 10 years later was indeed hard but it made me who I am today. I tried harder because it was not just about me, it was about my children. My daughter now 20 herself and a single mom is my best friend. I have stood by her during her pregnancy and now she is a great mom and I am a proud grandma. I can't help but think that you may regret giving away your son. He is your daughters little brother who they will grow to love and protect. Don't make them one of these B-sis looking for Bro statistics. Personally, experiencing what its like to be a mom, I might be jealous of the other parents who have the open adoption. What if they want to move away? or what if you have a fight? or worse what if you don't agree with the way they are raising your son? Everything happens for a reason ... you may not know why today but someday you will. Don't give up hope. You already have two children, one more can't be that much harder? As long as you love him, I believe there is not another place he would rather be than with his mommy. Tomorrows another day and things will get better. Don't make this decision without thinking about that. We all care Kelly

Hello Lisa, I am also new here. I am 25 and and 21 weeks preg. (With our first child also a boy.) I Just wanted you to know that if you need to talk I am here. Since we are due around the same time it could be nice to have someone to chat with. You are the only one who knows what you feel will be best for your son. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for how you feel. I am here if you just want to chat. Amanda

hello lisa. I am 20 years old and 28 weeks pregnant with my first son. Whom I am placing for adoption. Don't let that lady (Kelly's mom) have an impact on you. I think that if you are already having problems raising your two children, it may be best for you not to take on a 3rd child right now. If you do not feel that financially you can give your child everything that he needs as well as continue to take care of your other 2 children. Then adoption might be what is best. The father of my son, has several other women with his children. One of the mothers has 2 children herself, and is pregnant with her 3rd. She is struggling a lot to take care of the 2 she has now. And is going to place her 3rd up for adoption to ensure she can continue to care for her other 2 as much as possible, and also ensure that the 3rd will be well taken care of. Personally I think she is doing the right thing. If you need someone to talk to you can always private message me. I am here to talk with you :) Hugs, Tia

I did not intend to put anyone down for their decision to place a child up for adoption. I realize there are thousands of wonderful couples out there waiting for a child. I was just saying that you really have to think about it because there is no turning back if you change your mind. Be sure that this is what is best for you and the child. It is a lifelong decision. Kelly

You are very right! This is a life long decision. And it is a very hard one to have to make, but you must think of what type of lifestyle the child will have. Both with the birth mother and with the new family. Weigh out the options and make an informed decision. Sometimes even feeling guilty or extrememly emotional is worth it, if you know your child will live happy. Everyone who places a child up for adoption goes through the emotional part of it, but they are willing to sacrifice their own heartache to make sure that baby is taken care of the way he/she deserves. I know that if I just went off of my emotions there is no way I would give up my unborn son. I love him with all of my heart, and he is my world right now. But, I know that I cannot give him the life that he deserves, and so I must do what is right for him. He is the one who will benefit from my decision to give him a better life. I wasn't trying to attack you or your responce, but you did make it sound like she should feel guilty because of her other children not knowing this baby or whatever, and i belive that when you are dealing with a mother who is going through the pain of deciding what to do with their childs life, you must approach her with more gentle words. And not quite so opinionated... every situation is different. Tia