Pro 4 Life Question

First I'd like to say that I LOVE your icon! I love N.A. Noel's work! What an artist. Second, I'm sorry to hear of your condition but I am very glad to learn that your daughter is healthy. To address your question, I can understand why parents would feel a great temptation to abort when they learn devistating news about the health of their unborn child. It would be extremely painful to carry a baby for nine months only to have that baby pass away shortly after birth. As a mother of 2 children, I can only imagine what that must be like for the women who do give birth to their terminally ill children. A family member of mine was pregnant with a child who was diagnosed with anencephaly. She decided to continue the pregnancy and deliver her son alive. He died shortly after birth, but she and her husband had precious hours with their son during the time he was alive and following his passing. They were able to hold him and cuddle him. I believe they have pictures. I have visited many websites where mothers had given birth to their terminally ill children and they treasure their pregnancy and the time they shared after birth. As hard as it is to lose a child due to natural causes, I would believe it would be that much more difficult to lose a child at my own doing. It is one thing for my child to pass away...it is another for me to say I want to hire and pay for someone to end my child's life. The reason I think that abortion seems tempting is to try to avoid bonding with a child that will have a short life. But, i believe that this child's life is precious and they are deserving of dignity and should not be killed simply because they have an illness (of which isn't their fault...or anyones fault) and will not live as long as some other people. Do those of use who will live longer have the right to kill those of us who will live for less time? I believe parents in such a situation would benefit from hospice care that specifically adresses the needs and feelings of the family. Women and their families should be treated with respect and should be given the opportunity to have time with their baby. Doctors too often push for an abortion in these situations, but these families deserve more than that. [

I too can understand the desire to terminate a pregnancy, i.e. abort if you know that the child is going to have a terminal illness or even a severely disabling illness. However I don't think that changes the real question, is that fetus a human? We certainly don't kill babies that are born with severe problems, we do all we can to save them. I have a friend whose baby died shortly after birth due to birth defects. She held him, got an imprint of his feet and named him, etc. She considers this her child the same as her 12 yr old. There was someone on this site a while back who posed a similar question because she had a disabling illness, she said she would abort any child she conceived that she knew would have it. However she is on this website, contributing, she is a person with thoughts and feelings, so I certainly think her life has value, so why would a baby that has the same illness not also have value? I know its difficult and I cannot relate completely because I am healthy for the most part and am infertile and have no chance to have a child healthy or otherwise, so all I can say is once again its a matter of a human life. Another thing to consider is how often mothers ignore drs warnings after amnio is done and they give birth to a baby who was supposed to have problems only to find out the baby is fine. I think we have to let God handle this one. My best to you tlee

I think it is important to say that not everyone who is "pro choice" has a problem with the FACT that what one is pregnant with is human. That is one argument presented in a long string, not THE argument. At least not to me. Debi

I was writing while you were writing so did not read your post about your son. I am so sorry for your loss and the horrible pain you must have gone thru seeing your son suffer. you are right if we walked in your shoes we would feel differently. I don't want to comment because I know its futile to try to see if from your perspective.....but I do believe your sons life had meaning and maybe its hard to understand at this moment, and you probably want to tell me to be quiet because I have never been there,...so I will be quiet. God Bless you v

I know that you are a very open minded person and you say that the fact a fetus is a human is accepted by many pro choicers and I am sure you are right. But some where there does have to be a standard, a line drawn or we all just have a big sea of opinions. To me the fact that a fetus is a human is the one truth, the one absolute. yes quality of life is a consideration but once we go down that road we can get into a lot of trouble, Again Tlee sorry for your pain, I don't mean to belittle it any way. I also can see why you would not want to bring another child into this world with that disease- but in the end this one case does not make abortion the right thing to do, and unfortunately abortion cannot be a gray area, because when it is we end up where we are now. thousands of abortions a day done for convenience. Thanks for letting me say my peace. v

Dear TLee, I respect you very much and pray for you to get through this difficult time. Since my father was adopted there are many things I don't know about my background and that is certainly a huge drawback of the way adoptions used to and probably still do work sometimes. I hope that there is much more openess in the future. My daughter's birthday is looming (18) and my emotions are in overdrive, I can't begin to imagine the tough time this is for you. I do understand your viewpoint but I guess I feel that if there were not people who felt the way I do abortion would be even more rampant and would only escalate as a method of birth control. I do see your point of view and that is one reason why I love this website, I learn so much to see things from others point of view my best to you

>>What science CAN prove through biology...and specifically through genetics is the status of "human". This is through our HUMAN DNA...and our 46 HUMAN chromosomes. Science can also prove what is alive and what is not. It is testable! OK.....so what about stem cells? They have all 46 HUMAN chromosomes. They are alive. Shouldn't every effort be made to ensure they are nurtured through forty weeks of gestation and delivered into the arms of loving parents? How can you explain this inconsistency in your argument (without resorting to religious belief)? LC

I am sorry, I am new here and I am not getting this argument. Can both sides explain this a little better for me please? Thanks, V

Even pro life pregnancy crisis centers do not always do much counselling about adoption, because I think they are afraid that if they don't make the mother fall in love with her child she would rather abort out of convenience. This is making the assumption that mothers who place their babies love their children less than those who choose to parent. A notion I find arcaic and insulting.

bad choice of words, but i agree its archaic and insulting to think they teens cannot be counseled to love their child and choose adoption, but because of lack of information and attitudes toward adoption many counselors think only of diverting the teen from abortion and using motherhood and the baby being with them to reinforce the idea the baby is human, then they don't feel comfortable approaching adoption

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I found out that I was pregnant at my doctor's office. I was 17 years old. His exact words were "Congratulations. You're pregnant. We don't do abortions here, but I can give you phone numbers and a referral." His words infuriated me then, and still do now. Five months after I refused his referral, I was at the hospital (seeing a different doctor) for a prenatal visit. I spoke with the social worker to talk about my plans for the delivery and hospital stay when my daughter was born. I was already thinking about adoption, but had not done anything about it. She asked if I was planning on breastfeeding or bottlefeeding. I told her that I didn't think I was going to feed my baby. Her eyebrows raised and she said "What!?" Then we started talking about adoption and she gave me information about an adoption agency. I would not have been ready to hear about adoption the day I found out I was pregnant. At the same time, I wasn't ready to hear about abortion either. I needed to understand that I was pregnant before I could start making decisions about what I was going to do about being pregnant. One of the things that a lot of people do not recognize is that abortion and adoption are not answers to the same question or maybe solutions to the same problem. Abortion is an option for people not ready or able to be pregnant. Adoption is an option for people not ready or able to parent/raise a child. I think these are similar issues, but they aren't necessarily intertwined. Adoption can not be an alternative to every abortion because adoption still requires a person to go through the pregnancy. I agree that it is important for counselors, doctors, social workers and anyone else who meets with pregnant women should be educated about adoption or at least should know how to connect pregnant women with people who are. However, I also believe that a woman needs to be able to make her own decision (that is not influenced by counselors) about abortion as well. Every woman needs to make the best choice for herself.

sorry for the multiple posts one would have been sufficient but I none of mine were going thru yest. and I thought I had to keep redoing it. sorry for the mess I made of this thread