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Please help us. We are looking for a support group or other families that have adopted a child that is AA or Haitian. We are both Caucasian and have adopted an 8 year old boy. We want to know that we are not the only ones in Georgia and maybe meet other people. Thank you.
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Hi. I was wondering if your group ever got together or is still active on this site or otherwise? My husband and I are both white, and ready to start a family. There are a couple of problems. I have found myself absolutely drawn to the children of Haiti, and want to adopt a child from there. But my husband is very (VERY) concerned about the racial implications - for the child and for our family. He's not a racist, but he is someone who does not want to be stopped and questioned about his family origins (or anything else) every time we leave the house. He doesn't draw attention to himself or our family, and he is afraid that adopting a black child will do just that.
He is concerned not only for how this will affect us, but obviously for the child as well. Here's the real kicker - we live in the dreaded Forsyth County Georgia (if you grew up in GA, you'll understand). We just moved here from marietta a year ago, and it seems that the county is becoming more diverse, but we don't know whether our child would be subject to the intense closed-mindedness that is the history of this area.
Please comment on any of my issues!! THanks very much in advance.
I am an "inter-racial adoptee"; my adoptive parents are both white European immigrants.
If I could offer one word of advise, based solely on my own experience, it would be to ensure that your child establishes and maintains a strong connection with God, or obtains and retains some spiritual foundation throughout his/her childhood. The reason is simple, no "professional", no matter how educated, will be able to provide the "assistance" that your child will need. My parents did not expose me to religion, or "spirituality"; that turned out to be a demoralizing blow to my development.
I also suggest that you take your child to a "black" church, this will give you in sight into the "black" or AA culture and, more importantly, provide your child with a link back to his/her racial group. He or she will definately need it during the turbulent teenage years.
My experience has been that the "black" community will be much more accepting of your family than the "white". My opinion, of course, is colored by my own experience, the dynamics and make-up of my own family unit and the social dynamics in Connecticut as they existed from 1977 to present.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and advice with me. Yours is a perspective that I value greatly - no two experiences are exactly the same, but you seem to have faced many of the same challenges that our child would face.
I agree with you about the need for spiritual grounding in a child's life, whether in a transracial family or otherwise. A love and respect for all life can help people to overcome so many of the obstacles that we all face every day.
Thank you again. Best wishes to you.
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Hi!
So would you advise us to rethink raising a black child in an Indian family? Just to ensure that I don't come off as the typical Indian family --- let me say:
1. My brother lives with a Chinese gal
2. Our Uncle is married - twice to a Caucasian woman - one finnish american and then to an irish catholic lady.
3. Cousin married to a German Irish gal.
So in many respects we have been mixed. I understand that raising a child of another race is qualitatively different from that of marrying across race lines. However, we are keen and optimistic - but we cannot speak for the child and hope you will shed some light on this.
regarding your previous post:
1. Why the emphasis on "faith" - is that a personal opinion or is it something cultural that I ought to be aware of
2. I am happy to take the child to church - and a black church would be great - am not religious cos my religion is inconsistent with the 14th amendment - and therefore cannot take it seriously. I find the Sunday church a nice custom ( and I speak only as on onlooker) and if one can get a dose of pep talk and someone like Joel Osteen ( I watch him on T.V.) tellS you not to get into a frenzy about the little things in life - I am all for it.
3. Please elaborate on how our child of AA origin will feel --- what is your thought on the alternative i.e. that this child may end up in the system with no home for sometime to come.
4. What specifically, would she go thru during her teens when the identity issue about finding herslef can also get mixed in with the racial issue i.e. not finding boys of her choice and vice versa. I don't care for her to be part of the Indian community - we ourselves tend to have a loose affiliation - and she can date anyone she wants as long as he is a nice boy. Our life will change as a result of our daughter and we will seek to build closer friends with AA for obvious reasons .... how do you think that will play out?
I would really appreciate you taking the time to sort this out for me - because only someone else in our prospective child's shoes can speak to this.
And one more thing --- we have african american kids and friends in the neighborhood and some of the children are of a mixed race - they are bio bi-racial children. I have been repeatedly told I look mixed (B & W) or hispanic rather than Indian!! I could always take that look up a notch when our lil one gets to be 7 or so - just so as to be in sync with her - My spouse though, looks conclusively Indian. I REALLY REALLY would like your input and hope you are checking emails. We are keen to know what the child may encounter growing up. Our community is very diverse and we live in a large metropolis.
For the purposes of your "response" I will require an initial retainer of Two-Thousand Five Hundred Dollars. My time will be billed at $250.00 per hour. If I require the assistance of an associate, his/her time will be billed at $150.00 per hour.
Just joking.
I will respond tonight. God (or whomever you worship) Bless!
Your friend,
Searching4Life
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blkrankins
Please help us. We are looking for a support group or other families that have adopted a child that is AA or Haitian. We are both Caucasian and have adopted an 8 year old boy. We want to know that we are not the only ones in Georgia and maybe meet other people. Thank you.