Revocation Of Adoption

I'm sorry that I don't have the information you're looking for about revocation. I would strongly suggest, however, given the difficulty you're having with your son, that you seek professional help. If you've already tried and weren't satisfied, try again. Best wishes...

Mary, What makes you feel hopeless in dealing with your child? I have three autistic children and I know how difficult it is dealing with everything day in and out. Is there some advice I can give you or anything you feel might help? You should have someone come in and do therapy with your child. They may be able to suggest different ways to deal with him. How old is he? If you just cannot see your way through, can't you put him up for adoption again? Good luck and God bless you. My best advice is to not be afraid to embrace autism or asperger's. KelleyE

Kelly, Michael is nearly 13.... My main cocern is his inappropriete behavior towards my 9 yr ol daughter. ( he cant seem to keep his hands off of her) He seems obsessed with her bottem and he asks her to lie on top of him.. and touches her inapproprieatly. He does have alot of professional help. He sees a psychiatrist every 3 months.. a psychologist every 2 weeks.. we have a behavior specilist in the home every monday... an in home TSS comes tue/wed and saturday. His behavior at school is not good either.... inappropriete touching and lying ,stealing and he has a TSS with him in every class. I wish it were as simple as "putting him up for adoption" Childrens services will not step in unless he is being abused/neglected and our HMO will not place him in residention /hospital care unless he becomes violent. I am ready to see an attorney about having the adoption reversed... but I have been told this is almost never done. I do love Michael but I can not live with his OCD behaviors and subject my daughter to living with this much longer. ITs distroyed my marriage ... and I am deeply depressed . mary it seems no one can help

it sounds like you're in a really awful situation... are YOU receiving any outside support? respite care? counseling? you're in a really tough place right now and you're going to need SOMEBODY to listen to you and to help and to understand. i hope you can find that person -- it's not enough to just get help for your son. you need support too so you can make the best decisions for yourself and your family.

"I am ready to see an attorney about having the adoption reversed... but I have been told this is almost never done." ~Mary No, your attorney is incorrect; it's done frequently. In the few months since I've joined this forum, I've read of well over a dozen cases. I'm sorry for your situation; I'm sorry it's come to this. I can't advise you... only you know whether it's feasible to keep trying or not. In the past, I have judged aparents harshly for seeking to end their adoptions. Through this forum, I have come to understand that sometimes aparents (like bparents) are put in impossible, no-win situations. Sometimes problems escalate to the point that there is no solution, no "right" course of action to take... when faced with two terrible options, all you can do is try to choose the one that is the least potentially damaging to everyone involved. I hope other prospective aparents will learn from your situation and other similar situations on these boards. When seeking to adopt an older or special needs child, parents need to do their own research and make sure they know exactly what they're getting into and are prepared. It seems that the foster care system often does not do an adequate job of informing potential aparents about the extent of the childrens' needs. It also does not provide aparents with the necessary education and resources to deal with these needs in many cases. Again, I am very sorry for your situation and I hope that whatever decision you make, it is one that will allow you, your son, and your daughter to find some measure of peace. Best wishes, ~ Sharon

Mary: Sounds like you are at wits end. I agree that only you can access the situation you are in and decide what must be done. Is your son capable of understanding that he may be placed elsewhere, removed, if he cannot control his behavior? With AS and Autism, there is a lot of OCD... Right now, my nine year old is trying to pull a permanent tooth. She is just tearing away at herself. She has only let up because she is afraid of the dentist and I told her should would have to go if she didn't stop. Sounds as if this is a total obsession with him. I don't know how to help you deter this behavior. It sound like you are getting professional help, too. I hope they are good. There is a specialist in Illinois, Barb Doyle, and I will look and see if I can find a number or an email address for you. She is called in to consult for problems with kids with Autism, etc. Good luck, Mary. I will pray for you and your family. Kelley

M, If all else fails, call DCF or whatever they are called in your area and tell them your daughter is being abused by this boy. They will most likely place him to protect your daughter. This situation sounds very disturbing and draining and I feel for you. I never heard of disrupted adoptions before coming here to this forum and I found it a task to understand it being done, but I believe there are situations where it is necessary. Especially to protect other children in the home. I wish you all the best.

AS the mother of an autistic son I know the patience it can take. Adoptions are reversible and although I hate to see this done I think it is more honorable to know you can't handle it than to keep an unwanted child in your home. Good luck to you and your family.

Can you initiate an out of home placement? Have you looked into theraputic foster homes or group homes for kids with problems like your sons? Sometimes the subsidy will pay for the placement. Also, I am sure that bio kids with these issues are put in theraputic settings also when the situation at home becomes unworkable for the family. DFCS is not the only entity that can do this. A parent can. Good luck and hang in there.

I am writing an article for Spectrum Magazine--a publication for parents of children with autism--on the adoption and foster care of children with autism. I would love to hear your story. You may email me at hunyk@optonline.net. Thank you. __________________ Karen P.

omg ok im upset when i hear this .my parenbts new at 6 month after they adopted me .that i had something wrong ,adopting a child isnt like adopting a puppy who can be return if it not what you wanted .i had a dog we adopted when i was a child born profendly deaf and we keept her and learn sign langues .if you had given birth to him you wouldnt have that choise .im sorry but when i hear that stuff ticks me off .why dont you try and get souport and help him .give it a try .how old is

:mad: ok im about ready to flip a nutty .i just respond to a post about a lady not sure about keeping a child with as /hello adopting a baby is not like adopting a puppy and if it not trainbel you can return the puppy .witch i would never do we had a profoundly deaf dog when i was a child we taught her some sign languge .next i was adopted at 5 month .my parents were told at 6 month that i had some develomply proublem .my parents didnt care .my mom told the dr that if she had given birth to me she couldnt give me away so same thing and the first 2 years was hard .i had lots of proublems /i have autism /learing disibilitys and stuff .it make me want to cry when i think so people want to do this

maybe someone molsetd him as a child .this behavior has nothing to do with as .i think he needs help for that