how does it feel to be parents to a child who is n

Originally Posted By WendyHi Louise - I am mom to the most beautiful little girl in the whole world!! It is great to be able to say this cause she looks nothing like me!!! It took us a few months to totally bond...some people have an instant bond, others (like me) do not and have to work at it. I am a single mom and have always wanted to be a mom....it is the most wonderful experience!! From the time I saw my daughter's picture I knew she was meant to be mine. I have been told by some people that she is already starting to act like me and some even say she looks a little like me (NOT!!). My parents absolutly love Emily (she was the first grandchild) and are sooooo proud of her. I have been told by those who have both bio and adopted kids that the feelings you have for them are the same (I would not know, but I don't think I could love a bio child more than I love my little Emily!!). Feel free to contact me at wpott@liveline.comMy daughter is from India. She was born 10/31/98 and now is almost 20 months old. She has the most beautiful smile, dimples and black curls!! If you want to read our story, check out our web page:Wendy

Originally Posted By MichelleMy husband and I are the proud parents of a wonderful, sweet, beautiful 7 year old girl. She came home at less than two days old. When the social worker called to see how everyone was doing, we told her everything was wonderful, but I could not bring myself to say how much we loved our daughter. I loved her from the minute I knew she was going to be born, but I was afraid to say I loved her for fear that something would not work out. But nothing ever came of that fear, and I love her more than life itself. I stayed home with her for 3 months after she was born and when I went back to work I cried like any other mother would. She is definitely a part of me... not biologically but emotionally. People have a hard time believing she is adopted after they meet us, she doens't look unlike me but we are alike in other ways. You and your husband are bonded, and you are not biologically related... don't let the fear of "bonding" keep you from finding a child to be your own. Good luck.

Originally Posted By michelleI'm sorry I left out how our extended family feels about adoption. My mother-in-law put it best one day when she was talking to a friend of hers..."Hannah is a special gift from God." I never knew exactly how much she believed that until I heard her say it. Our families love Hannah as much as any grandchild that has been born into our families. Adoption is not second best- it's a second choice.

Originally Posted By MarieMy first thought after reading your post is that you need to work through this before adopting. I never had any worry about bonding - I just assumed as any mother-to-be would that I would love our child - no matter how he came to our family. The problems of depression that often happen after placement were, for me, a result of being over whelmed with motherhood and lack of sleep. I hear many amoms say that it takes a good three months to "fall in love" with your adopted child. Not that we don't love them from the moment they are placed in our arms, it's just that there is an adjustment to make after the shock of suddenly becoming a mother. Not one person in either of our extended families has had a problem with our adopted children. No one even brings it up - it's a non-issue.Marie

Originally Posted By DanaI have two excellent examples of adoption bonding. My daughter and my husband also my daughter and my mom.My husband and I are the adoptive parents of two beautiful children. Our second is only two weeks old. Our daughter is 2 years and she and I are very close but she's a true daddy's girl. Daddy's name is said all day long. When he's at work , she asks at least once a hour. Where's daddy? When he's at home saying "daddy" is her mantra. He adores her as much as she loves him. She's his little side kick the apple of his eye. How do you love an adopted child?With all your heart, of course!How does your family respond? Both sides of our family are very loving and accept our kids as family. Because that's what they are. You're a parent by being there, raisng, caring and loving that child.Our daughter truly believes my mom is her best friend.She cries when my mom goes homes after a visit. Her other grandma is a little jealous because she lives so far away and she misses out on these experiences. Adoption isn't for everyone but it can be beautiful, rewarding and answered prayer for both parent and child. Good luck to you!

Originally Posted By AnnWe adopted a sibling group and as soon as the adoption was complete, family members were there for a while and then something happened. Other family members were comparing and looking at the situation of new family members in observation, watchful and critical of acceptance. What was helpful was sharing experiences with other adoptive families and groups.

Originally Posted By Ann MsAnnFrost@AOL.comYes , it is truly a shock after addoption. I've experienced the honeymoon blues after receiving crucial information after adoption which made me very depressed for a while. I love the children, but I feel that we really got caught up in a unfortunate situation with our adoption.

Originally Posted By DebI have a 7 yr old bio-son and an 14 month old adopted daughter. The first time I seen her I knew she was to be ours. She was placed in our home at 4 months old (foster care adoption). We have all bonded very well together. She is a daddy's girl that is for sure. Her brother loves her he said he would never trade her for anything not even Pokemon cards (LOL). When her brother walks into the room she lights up, she gets the biggest smile on her face. The kids bonded great together and very fast, she would look for him every morning when waking up. The first words she said was bubba (that is what she calls her brother). My parents and in-laws just adore her, they treat both children the same. They love her as much as our son.

Originally Posted By DeborahI to had the same fears as you have we adopted our daughter when she was 12 days old and at first it was hard to bond with her but I have spoken th mothers who have had their own children and they to took time to bond with their child after a few weeks when my routine started to get into shape with my new baby we began to bond she always loved being with me and loved me holding her and like anything else as time goes on the attachment gets stonger every day my daughter is now 11 months old and i love her more than i have loved anything before(besides my husband of course) but it is a different love and i could not imagine my life without her and she could not be without me because I am her MUMMY her SECURITY her LOVE i think if you want children and adoption is sn option for you you should do it GOOD LUCK......

Originally Posted By JuanitaWhen an adoption is right there are no feelings of that child being any different than one you gave birth to. You will be amazed at how much love you have for any child that calls you mom or dad.Adoption is a very special and wonderful experience.

Originally Posted By raeyou don't even realize that you did not give birth in the traditional way. The child begins to act, sound and yes may even look like you (particularly expressions). You do however feel left out of the conversations that compare the physical resemblance of biological children to grandparents etc. But how often does that conversation take place anyway?

Originally Posted By DiannaAnn, We have adopted twice. I know it is tough when the situation in which you find yourself is not what you had hoped. This is when I think we are given our best chance to grow and learn about ourselves and about life. Please remember not to judge yourself or compare yourself with others. God has given you an important job and the best you can do, while it may not play out as a glowing success story, is of great value to those whose lives you touch. Use the help and support systems that are available and remember that you are not alone. God bless you. Dianna ddsuarez@jps.net