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At what age is ADD or ADHD evaluated? And what are some of the early warning signs?
After sitting nearly two-hours at the Social Security office (for the new Number after adoption is final) Three separate older women made a comment to me that our exactly 2-year old son is sure cute and well behaved---BUT VERY VERY BUSY! Something that has NOT gone unnoticed by me....
While talking with my mother on the phone within a span of 5-mins.....he:
1) climbed on the kitchen counter--he does this by doing a pull up!
2) ran up stairs and started the 'hot' water in my bathtub...and then,
3) got into my closet and scaled the shelves as soon as he was down I turned around and he
4) was in the bathroom sink with the toothpaste in hand, I took it from him and turned around---he was
5) Down the stairs and on the table where the fish tank is with both arms in the water---petting John Wayne the Betta (last week he squeezed the other Betta to death John is a replacement.
6) And well, then I had to let Mom go because he had run into the kitchen again and had the seasoning salt out...and the dish soap.....and a fork.
He first climbed out of the crib at 15 mos. We got a crib tent.
We wanted to start potty training him---but unless he is dressed in a sleeper with a diaper pin at the top of the zipper--he will strip nude.
I have had to buy six pairs of shoes for him since Thanksgiving because he will take one off and throw it....a few I just didn't notice until too late to find and two times he has thrown them in so far or into such a disgusting place I didn't want to fish it out. The last one was under the car parked next to ours at the store--
Out fridge is creatively tied shut--the dishwasher was ripped out of its mounting months ago--we will replace it when he outgrows this stuff.
Because he simply will not stop using the light switch I was turning the bulbs over the dining table to reduce the light level when he insists on playing--and now he is standing on the table trying to reach them for himself!
All the chairs in our home are now tied to something so he will not move them around.
Anything he can stand on has been removed from his space.
We found him the otherday standing on a toy trying to reach the third lock to keep the front door shut--he already figured out how to work the deadbolt and get out---now we have a chain and a flip lock!
He has completely taken apart the sink drain in our guest bathroom downstairs--it is the freestanding type and all the fun stuff is exposed.
We found him in the dryer--hiding after he ran when I saw him with the toenail clippers in his hand....
In public if I have to let go of his hand to get my keys or checkbook out he runs--FAST! There are days I wish I could just tie our feet together with a tether.
He has run up to complete strangers and hit them in line at the bank. Last night while out to dinner he dropped a crayon and the waiter picked it up---then everytime the waiter walked by he did it again! and again.
He acts like he has no clue about a time out--and we have used them religiously for months. He has NO FEAR of anything at all and will climb to get anything he wants. EVERY single cabinet in our home now has the magnetic locks--the others he figured out how to use the day we put them in! He puts anything he can find into the toilet--eats the cat food and turns on any water he can.... He puts 'things' in the garbage--that do not belong there. Removed all the ornaments off the Christmas tree no matter how often I timed him out.
He does play with he toys and will show interest for a day or two--but when he is finished with a toy he never returns to it! We have tried rotation but it seems to be ineffective.
If he wants something HE will do whatever it takes to get it and continue to work on that issue until you turn around and see he has it in his hands.......he gets really quiet when he is naughty and hides under the kitchen table. He is fascinated with the knives and scissors--which are now under lock and key....any crayon, pen marker he will find a place to use and hides them in his jammies--he hides many things in his jammies changing time is like a scavenger hunt!
Honest to God the ONLY time I have one moment in a day where I am not following him around and constantly up removing him from danger--taking something from his hands or whatever else is during NAP.
I cannot sweep or mop the floor when he is up--he rides the broom or pulls on it until it is just a battle with him.....I cannot vacuum--or use any kind of spray cleaner because HE wants to do it---if he gets out into the garage he runs right for the paint--and last week took a black sharpie to daddies Ferrari (sp) the one parked and never used with a cover over it---I saw the cover up and oh my gosh---canary yellow paint with black sharpie markers! I called the dealer and still have yet to tell DH---YIKES!
I didn't even see anything in his hand--I walked out to get something from the freeze and it was not even 1-min my eyes were not fixed on him--and it happened. I don't even know where he found the marker--we have them all locked up too.
Our home is spotless (I have a housekeeper! Twice a week) and we have NO clutter--none! My husband is Felix Unger--you know the guy from the odd couple! We do not even keep our toaster on the counter it is put away after use. My husband comes home every night and spot cleans the carpet for crying out loud EVERY Night.
All I do all day long is run after this little guy! REALLY! I cannot even go to the bathroom. And know that he is making it much harder for me to deal with the tantrums and acting out sissy does if nothing else making it harder for me to concentrate on her issues when they come up and distracting me away when I need to deal with her........
When sissy comes home he bites her--pulls her hair and climbs all over her....it is at the point that she cannot even be in the same room with him for her own safety!
I think he is hyper! Sorry this is long and as some of you know he is not my only major issue in life but I am not in anyway over stating his activity level......when can I ask a doctor to consider this level of activity?
He was born positive for pot and meth. But has met all developmental milestones except for growth he is a pip-squeak! Only weighs 23lbs!
HELP
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The issues we confront as parents, friends, and professionals are taxing, difficult, and produce huge amounts of frustration. It is important that we all maintain a civil tone on all postings. As a moderator, I will delete postings that seem to be personal attacks on others. Stating one's opinion strongly is fine as many of us have strong opinions, but personal attacks are not fine. The topic of this thread is very important and I hope we can all continue to help each other, educate each other, and support each other.
regards
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Just to update and clarify some things here. I myself have/had(?) ADHD and dyslexia the ADHD was medicated nearly my whole childhood and personally I feel that was the best choice for my own situation....It was much nicer to have the ability to focus and not 'chatter' while also trying to overcome a very real learning disability that was virtually unknow during my childhood. Had it not been for medication I belive that reading would have actually happened even later then 5th grade for me.
I also have an ADD daughter (my biological daughter) who was not medicated but rather managed by acitve and invlved parenting. She is doing very well in college on a full academic Scholarship and starting her Jr year with a major in child psychology and get a load of this---her main interest is ATTACHMENT she is already doing all the fancy paprework and intends to get her PHD---and I am sure she will!
I do have experince with myself and with my own children and do understand that ADD/ADHD has strong genetic links...I do not know if my sons biological mother has or had ADD/ADHD--nor can I be sure she is not suffering from a serious mental health problems...I think there could be a real good possiblity that her drug usage was started as a form of self medication....as often happens with mental health issues.
There are going to be a number of things to look at, consider, test for, and work to aviod, work to help overcome, and accept during the future years of both my adopted children.--I knew that going in....nothing has come up that was not expected.
'J' has been comepletely evaluated by the Early Intervention program. He is 27 months old so there is not a whole lot to work on at this time---other then identifying his delays and finding ways to help him overcome those. Along with a great deal of focus on overcoming issues that were clear he was having insecure attachment he is receiving a great deal of support and therapy to help him.
J--is overall 10 months delayed in his development. His MOTOR skills are actually advanced--and his receptive language skills are near target...meaning he can move and get into things and do things very very well....and he understands almost everything he hears. His delays are in expressive language he is hardly talking he has about five understandable words and a few sound combinations that could be sentances if they were understood.
He is now reciving OT (occupational therapy) as it is very clear he does have some moderate sensory integrations issues... He is doing well in OT and we are finding many ways at home to expand on what he learns...I had no idea a baby could have so much fun with a can of shaving cream---but he has been loving OT.
We have also learned and may get some negative feedback for this but 'J' actually will focus and sit and play with his toys without any crying or upset what so ever if he is actually confined to a small area he cannot leave...!
He clearly has an imaginary friend....and he plays "kitty" for hours on end--He has a huge imagination!
I still suspect that he has some form or another of hyperactivity--I have never seen a baby this busy in my life and nothing about this has really chnged since I started this thread--except that he is actually starting to play with toys and not facinated with steak knives anymore--well we think not they are all locked up along with every other cabinet upper and lower in the house!
We just spent about $2,500.00 to have the upstairs windows made child safe--and fire escape safe---he enjoys climbing the stairs on the outside of the railing now--which has caused me to create the most ugly interior decorating choice in my life--I have a beautiful staircase with shower curtian rubber drapes!
Twice in the past week he has climbed on the counter--onto the top of the fridge--opened my purse--got my keys out---snuck out the front door and opened the van and been found sitting in the driver seat trying to figure out how to put the freaking keys in the ignition! That happend in about five mins while I went to the bathroom--we now have a lock on the inside of all the doors leaving the house high--and my purse is now behind the cabinets that are locked with those fancy magnet locks....This guy is busy.
is anyone interested in babysitting?
Anna, I have a 3 year old very similiar to your 2 year old. He too is delayed in speech and emotionally but highly intelligent. I knew it was a bad sign last fall when we went to Urgent Care for stitches and the dcotors said, "Okay, how did we do this last time?"
I was so glad when he outgrew his fascination with the toilet. I didn't have to call DH home from work to snake it anymore. Though, we lost 2 pairs of underwear down that toilet before then. I know mine wasn't exposed to drugs prenatally, so I don't have to have those added concerns. But, his behavior at times has been enough to leave me concerned without the added complications of drug exposure you are facing.
Honestly, we seemed to have turned a corner in the last month with him. About the time he decided to jump from a ledge to a staircase and scraped the top layer of his nose off actually. Its like something finally clicked and he realized there were consequences to thoughtless actions.
Since we have no complicating issues, I am not going to think about ADD/ADHD with this one until he is much older. My gut tells me he does not have it. I actually have ADHD which settled into ADD as an adult. My niece was diagnosed at 7 with it as well. I know my children have a risk for it. But, at 2 some many things can look the same, including sometimes normal behavior. If I had to worry about drug exposure with my little one, I wouldn't hesitate to have him throughly evaluated. Since I don't, I'm comfortable taking the wait and see approach. Adding drug exposures changes the playing field considerably. Its heartbreaking, but its the reality. For children with drug exposure, you have to be proactive. If you wait like I am, it might be too late to help him optimally.
In the meantime, we really like the One Step Ahead company. They have childprood devices you wouldn't think of! LOL, they did our homestudy for a 7 year old and wanted to know about our childproofing. I just laughed. I figured no 7 year old was going to require the level of childproofing I had already implemented for my fireball! So, at least you know you're set if you want to adopt again!
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Anna, my 2 1/2 yr old daughter is ALMOST that busy. Not quite, but almost. She's a climber too. When I take her to play at the nursery at church, and I watch her with the other kids, she's always the only one non-stop running/playing. I can't tell you how many times people have commented to me about how active a child she is.
I took her with me to play cards with some friends, and my friends were taking turns watching her so I could play some too. One friend managed to last 45 minutes. Another friend cried uncle and said she was dying & needed relief after about 20 minutes.
I don't get on the computer at all when she's awake. I creep around like a cat burglar in the morning before she wakes up so I can get a few things done, put in a load of laundry, whatever.
It's better than it used to be in that I can sometimes have as long as 5 minutes once in a while with her playing with something.
I took her to see a pediatric opthalmologist (she has slight strabismus, one eye drifts out a little when she's tired), and he said "I've been in this office 5 years, and this is the first child to try to climb the equipment."
I lost 30 pounds in the first 3 months after the adoption, without dieting.
I had hopes of finding another family at church to swap off a few hours a week on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon to take turns watching the kids so we could have some non-kid time to get errands done, but so far haven't found anybody willing to take her! Or maybe I'm projecting about that, nobody has expressly said that, it just seems to be that the families I spoke to about it were initially interested but it has never really come to pass.
I work, and have a good friend who keeps her for me while I'm at work. I can't imagine what it would be like to stay at home with her every day. I know sometimes by 7:30 am on a Saturday morning, I'm thinking to myself, how am I gonna get through this whole weekend?
She does better if she can run around outside a lot. She loves the outdoors. And she does better if we really do stick to a schedule and a routine about getting ready for bed, what we do in the morning while I'm getting ready for work, etc. At playgrounds she usually has a great time chasing after 4-6 yr old boys.
You're not alone!
It is great to know that other moms are suffeing as much as I am:D lol!
I was just talking to my mother who was here for two weeks last October and I told her last week that the kids and I will be visiting her this summer.....my poor mom! She was talking to me about all the ideas everyone has come up with so that she has some peace too....and it occured to me that there actually has been some areas of improvement since October! I guess right now the family plan is that my aunt will be parking her motor home at my moms house so that the kids and I can be contained:eek:
.....then she was talking about the 50 foot dog leash she has for her dog and how that might come in handy :rolleyes:
Anyway--it can be hard to see from the inside out but while talking with mom she brought up one concern after another and I found myself saying--'oh yeah--well he isn't doing that anymore'....:D
So maybe by July he won't be doing some of this other stuff!
I found out today that they actually are teaching 2-year olds to use scissors at pre-school:o Wow--how nice! Thant must be why he is attacking them every chance he can and running around with sisters glue stick!
Anyway---for all of us with the little busy ones--Thank goodness the good sunny days are ahead of us and maybe by summers end we can contemplate the praticality of the Holiday tree again?
Busy-Boy!
Well, it has been awhile since I updated and we have had several classes now and his needs are being evaluated every time...
He is in OT(occupational therapy) for sensory integration which appears to be part of his big issues.... However he is not completely fitting the evals because he has great motor skills and muscle tone....The instructors say that they do not even look at activity levels for a little one this age.....
He is still constantly on the go and baby proofing has been proven to be a complete waste of our time...we had a gate installed on the staircase--so he learned to climb it on the outside of the railing and it is now more dangerious then without the gate:eek:
He has however, stopped climbing on the counters for now! But still has a thing for getting into 'stuff' and smearing it on our closet floor--and sadly a few nice clothing items have been damaged!
It appears he has alergies (like his sister) and that has made him cranky this spring!
Anyway--busy boy will be having one heck of a fun summer and I hope everyday that he starts to understand his boundries better...we will see.
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Glad to hear an update. I am with you and still taking one day at a time.
Alexander is also experiencing sensory integration issues. Our early intervention evaluation was last week. He is also delayed in understanding and speaking (this is not a surprise). I look forward to our therapy appointments and learning more on how I can help him.
I was considering transferring him from his crib to a bed...Our crib is not the standard size--it's from Germany and is much smaller than American ones. It has a section of the bars that can be removed so that a toddler can climb in and out (as if it's a regular bed) Well, he freaked out! He started out happy and excited, but it built until I had to replace the bars and rock him to sleep. He couldn't handle it. I just never know what will set him off...guess he's not ready yet. (he'll be 2 later this month)
He is getting better about hitting :) and he is mostly a very happy kid. But I still have a hard time keeping my own temper in check at times. He is never still--even when asleep! I realize too that he's been sick alot and that causes behavior regression. Hopefully with the summer months, he will stay healthy. I also haven't ruled out allergies as the culprit.
Hope this update of mine wasn't too long. I am encouraged that I am not alone in the craziness!
I don't think your update was too long--I think we should all keep updating whatever seems to be relavant--with as much space as it takes to update!
I know how you feel about the short temper--I really had one just a few mins ago....jeremiah ran into the street at the pre-school and I freaked and then started kicking me when I put him down for a nap---ohhhhh that makes me so made....but today he is cranky so I am trying not to respond with anger and that can be hard sometimes.....
HappyMomAnna:
Is it possible that your child has a food allergy? I am not a specialist by any means, but the child of a friend of mine had an allergy to the dyes found in some foods.
One of the culprits for their wee one was "Smarties". She was out of control if she ever got one. She did things like flush the remote down the toilet. They found out about the food allergy when she was about 2. She is 13 now and a wonderful girl, but she still cannot have "Smarties".
:)
About the not responding in anger thing - one thing that helps me somehow is to try to routinely think "what is it my child REALLY needs right now?" instead of the thing my child is asking for, or crying for, or whining for, or throwing a fit over. Sometimes I'm able to keep my perspective enough to answer it "what my child REALL needs right now is a REALLY GOOD MOM." Then I try to stop whatever's happening long enough to hold her tight & rock her & soothe her. Because I know she doesn't really want the ice cream for breakfast that she's tantrumming over. It wouldn't make her happy even if I gave it to her.
Sometimes it's so hard to get that perspective though.
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mumofone--This is always something I consider to be a possiblity allergies can be so complex and amazing! I have a number of them myself.... We have a very low sugar diet here.... I even buy sugar free ice cream and candy if and when they get some! But you honestly never know what can trigger things...Something I will mention to the doctor at the next appointment.
manon--Wow it has been a long time since I made my last post---clearly one of those days!!!! I know how you feel and find myself doing the same thing---I do admit it is easier with a 2 yo then it is with a 6 yo however!
As for Jeremiah---I honestly expect that by the age of 5 I will be told he is ADD or ADHD--I have been around so many children I cannot even find the words to relate just exactly how constantly busy this guy is--all the time--even in his sleep! He is on the go every moment and NEVER stops... NEVER! It has gotten much better because he is starting to learn some limits...he knows it hurts to fall off the kitchen table--he knows it is not a good idea to jump into the pool--he knows that it is not a good idea to get mommies keys and try to drive the mini-van--because there will be consequences...
As he is learning his own limits and my limits things have become progressively more easy to deal with..... It has been a long time since he got on the kitchen counters (watch now tomorrow he will do it) and I have been less and less concerned about his going up and down the stairs--or playing on the patio.... so I imagine that even though he is VERY busy my stress will become less of a problem because it won't be so life and death.... I cannot wait until he is old enough that I don't have to keep my eyes fixed on his every move!